


Spinning the Wheel

by TheRoguePhilosopher



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Historical references mixed with some canon divergence, Romance, Soulmates, general danvers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-19 01:59:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 61,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12400788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRoguePhilosopher/pseuds/TheRoguePhilosopher
Summary: Astra had loved Alexandra many, many times over--each time Alex reincarnated, Astra would find her to start over and continue their romance.However, this time and place was different than all others before.  Never before had Alex actually had to kill her. Never before had Astra had living family, especially so young, connected to Alex.  Never before had they not run away together.Could Alex fall in love with Astra again under such unique circumstances?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so shit description. I know, I know. Real description: You are either General Danvers trash like the rest of us here, or you're not. IN OR OUT LOL.   
> Mega twist on a soulmate story.   
> Digging myself into another multi-chapter hole. Feel free to jump on in :)

She noticed how Alex still stiffened each time she moved.

Whether it was a small movement, to move her little boot around the property game that Kara spoke so highly of, or getting up entirely to visit the growler of Kryptonian Ale that Astra had finally gotten Darla to be able to re-create in an abandoned barrel in the basement of the bar. 

Either way, Alex still froze.  Or flinched. 

Always some kind of reaction that Astra wasn’t sure if it was a reflex, adjusting to just how not-dead she truly was, or if Alex thought that Astra would strike her…out of revenge?  To finish a battle that was clearly long over?

She had only been back for a week.  Giving her Alexandra more time shouldn’t be so difficult, given she had done it so many, many times before. But it stung to see Alex’s reaction each and every time she moved.  To see Alex refuse to be alone in a room with her, or to have a direct conversation without a buffer, like Kara or J’onn present.

Every time Alex reincarnated, Astra knew she simply had to find her again, and each time Alex fell rightly back in love with her, picking up like they had never left off. Astra had learned over the last thousand years that each time Alex passed, if she waited patiently, within the next 40 or so years a thirty year-old named Alexandra or Alexandria or Alexis or Aleksandrina or some variant thereof would be back in her life. 

Same eyes.  Same smile.  Same feist.  Same confusing mix of cockiness and insecurity.

The only problem was that each time, Astra had the memory of their life previously, and Alex didn’t. 

She had to teach Alex to fall in love with her all over again.

Kara and Alex started bickering over some kind of payout rules for parking, Kara trying not-so-stealthily to slip extra purple money into her cash stores, while Alex rubbed the birthmark on her shoulder out of nervous habit—the mark that Astra wasn’t supposed to know about, because very few people knew about it.  Astra had been on earth long enough to know that certainly Kara was wrong—you never were paid for parking, you were only expected to pay.  Ridiculous amounts. 

She cocked her head, moving to help herself to another slice of pizza, trying to acclimate back into Kara’s life and how she fit in now that she had family to think of, in addition to Alex.  She moved her right hand out, grabbing at the crust.

Alex flinched again, and Astra sighed.

_How am I supposed to remind her to fall in love with me, if she’s afraid of me?_

Of course, it had been a shock when Astra had turned back up, for a number of reasons for the Danvers sisters—one, because she was alive when Alex was sure a Kryptonite sword through the heart was a death sentence, and two, because she returned to help them. 

The General couldn’t fault Kara for not knowing such an injury could heal, as long as she wasn’t buried beneath the earth’s surface.  That _would_ most certainly kill a Kryptonian—kill the heart and then prevent sun exposure.  However, Astra had plenty of sun exposure.  Plenty of time to rest and heal. 

Heal well enough to hear from space the earthlings screaming as the Daxomites attacked. 

* * *

_1717_

_“Please Miss.  I have nothing of value on me.  But my husband will pay a ransom of the highest grade.  Just please cause me no harm.”_

_Astra, newly appointed Captain after the mutiny, looked her Alexandra up and down, reminding herself that the woman before her wasn’t going to recognize her from last time.  The woman cowered on the chair in the Captain’s quarters, becoming increasing distressed as the sun had set, Astra lighting candles so they could continue to converse._

_“I have no intentions of harming you.”  Astra held out a cup of water, trying to convey the truth of the statement through looks and looks alone._

_Alexandra looked at her like she wanted to believe her.  Like she wanted a drink of water without having to wonder if it were poison._

_Like a woman could be a pirate, and a pirate could be a decent person._

_The more Alexandra thought about it, the more the latter possibility seemed to be true.  The captain had not harmed a hair on her head, and as soon as they had boarded, made it clear to the other pirates that they were to go nowhere near the prisoner on pain of death._

_Astra watched the prisoner try to sniff the water without being conspicuous, using a long sip as an opportunity to scan the room._

_Captain Astra sighed aloud._

_“There’s no escape, love.  We’re already out at sea.  But we will not harm you.  I need you alive and well.”_

_Alexandra paused for a moment, and thought back over their interactions for the day.  The arguing, Astra accusing her sailor husband of being a dishonest gambler who owed them money, which turned into shouting, turning then into fighting—ending with Astra slinging Alexandra over her shoulder and boarding the ship._

_Alexandra knew it was coming.  As soon as Astra had spotted her while arguing with her husband, she saw something click on Astra’s face._

_She knew then that she was about to be kidnapped._

_Something on the Captain’s face had intrigued her—she barely fought being picked up and carried aboard a ship.  She had always wanted to set foot on a ship, just to see what it felt like to be disconnected from land, floating freely._

_Of course, her husband forbade it._

_The prisoner tried to remember at what point in the conversation the Captain had startd referring to her as “love”—a term of endearment too tender, even for the most jolly of pirates.  Then again, Alexandra had never encountered a lady pirate, even though she knew it existed._

_She couldn’t remember when the term had slipped into conversation.  But she knew she wanted to hear the Captain say it again._

* * *

Alex always started the morning with her running shoes tied a tad bit too tight, knowing she was about to test the depths of “just doing it” by incorporating hills, trails, anything else into her morning run that could mimic running through a real-life fight situation.  It was the reason she shredded a pair about once a month. 

The agent put in her ear buds, plugging them promptly into—nothing, placing the plug end into her pocket. 

She didn’t listen to music.  She simply didn’t like when fellow aggressive runners attempted to chat her up. 

With no warm up, Alex started a sprint right out of the gate, heading toward the park that she knew had lots of rocky, unruly trails to train on, gratefully inhaling the cool fall air into her lungs. 

She almost hit the park without anyone in the world bothering her.  It had been peaceful for a full five minutes. 

“Alexandra.  Lovely to see you out today.”  Alex’s eyes went wide, as she realized she was alone with Astra. 

At least she was in public, should anything happen.  What exactly the “anything” was that made Alex so uneasy she wasn’t sure of.  But the unease was there, and it was persistant.

“Astra—why are you out running?  You don’t need to run to train.  You’re a Kryptonian.” 

Astra smiled.  An honest to goodness, not cocky or trying-to-prove-something smile.  Alex stumbled for a moment, slowing down once she regained her composure.

“I don’t need to run, but I do like it.  It’s enjoyable to be out in the earth air, learn the layout of the city on foot rather than from above.”  It hadn’t escaped Astra that Alex had started going faster again, full well knowing she couldn’t outrun an alien. 

“That’s great.  Good.  Great that you’re out and about and all healed now…So I should get back to my training podcast.”  Alex tapped her earbuds, speeding up even more, Astra slowing down to watch Alex move at full speed. 

It was beautiful to watch, Alex’s limbs moving gracefully and yet with power, not unlike watching a lioness in full strength. 

Even if Astra knew there was nothing playing in Alex’s earbuds. 

“I will try again later, my Alexandra.”  Astra watched until Alex disappeared into the trail in the trees before turning around, running at a slow pace back to Kara’s.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, slow burns. Right? It just takes fooooreeeever...so I promise I will try not to take forever between updates. TRY.

“Stop being weird.” 

“I’m not being weird.”  Alex shoved more of a danish in her mouth than should have been reasonably possible, attempting have an excuse not to expound upon her blatant lie, especially not fond of having emotional conversations in a public coffee shop.

“Weird” didn’t even cover the last couple of weeks, where Alex was either avoidant at engagements that Astra could possibly be present at, or keeping it as sanitized as possible, focusing on work—alien hunting, fighting, technology, the most non-emotional subjects she could muster, preferably while wearing her DEO gear.  It made her feel—somehow protected against whatever emotions swirled around her head when Astra was present.

Kara’s puppy eyes were not going to wait for Alex to swallow.  Not by a long shot.

“You are.  Alex, you always _tell_ me that you’re okay with my Aunt coming out with us, and then you always start acting—like this!  Just weird.” 

“It’s not weird to be hungry, Kara.  You of all people should talk.  I’ve seen you roll up an entire pizza like a long cigar and shove it down your throat like a sword-swallower.  Give me the other danish.”

“No.”

“ _Kara.  Give. Me. The. Danish._ ”

“You do understand you’re trying to threaten a Kryptonian, right?  Not until you talk to me.  Remember when you used to tell me what was going on with your feelings instead of eating them down?” 

Alex’s shoulders drooped down, as she sighed.  It wasn’t fair to shut down and not talk to Kara, but she was having a difficult time sorting out what she felt herself.  But she didn’t understand really _why_ she felt so uneasy around Astra.  It wasn’t even something she knew how to explain.

She didn’t have a frame of reference for how or why Astra made her feel uneasy.  All of the words Alex knew for emotions were inadequate. The few times she had tried to self-examine had failed so quickly that it was pointless, and she knew it.  She wasn’t angry, or sad, or afraid, or feeling comradery—even when working side-by-side, she just knew Astra had the ability to unsettle her. 

She’d see Astra, and her instinct would be to run away. 

Then when she was away, she hoped the older Kryptonian would show herself again.

It was a confusing cycle.

Kara looked back at her, seeing Alex’s face struggle, patiently waiting for an explanation while still guarding a blueberry Danish with her arms fenced around it. 

“Okay, I’ll start.  Do you feel weird because you killed her?  Well, almost anyway.”  The hopeful look in Kara’s eyes to try to get Alex to start talking was almost painful, but she couldn’t watch Alex crumple up her forehead in thought anymore.

“I don’t know.” 

It was the first honest statement Alex had made all morning, since Kara clued her secret agent sister in that they would have a guest joining them shortly. 

“Well, that must have something to do with it.  But Alex, she doesn’t hold it against you.  All’s fair in love and war, right?  We weren’t all exactly on the same side at the time.  I was worried myself that it might come down to that, and even worse that I would have to be the one to carry it out…” Kara trailed off, mind flashing back to a very conflicting time for the young Kryptonian. 

“I know.  I mean, ugh.  It’s not just that, but obviously every time I see her I can’t just not think about that time I stabbed your Aunt with the most painful weapon possible.  I know that for what was going on at the time I was making the right choice.”  Kara reached across the table, putting an arm on Alex’s, not knowing that the statement Alex had fed her barely scratched the surface of the confusing Astra stirred inside. 

“We all understand that, Alex.”

“I just—I feel like I should apologize though, but for what?  Saving my planet?” 

“So don’t apologize.  Astra made her own decisions, Alex.  You don’t have to placate the old Astra to get to know the new one, you know?”

“It’s not just that…it’s—Kara, if she went back to the dark side…”  Kara waited patiently, trying not to get angry. The younger Danvers couldn’t fathom Astra going back to her old ways.  Her attempts at controlling the world in an ego-drive ‘I know best’ mindset. 

It just wasn’t possible in Kara’s head.  Astra was too happy to be back with Kara and Clark, and was allowed to retain her rank and seniority when helping out the DEO.  The President had even signed off on it, given her wealth of knowledge and experience.  Every DEO below the rank of General had to refer to her as General, which seemed to be the most important part of the deal to Astra. 

“That won’t happen.” 

“But if she did,” Alex stopped, looking at Kara, letting the young, idealistic blonde keep her hand on her arm, “I wouldn’t be able to make the same choice again.  If it came down to it.” 

“Glad to hear it, Alex, because I have no intention of making the same choices either.”  Astra startled the two women even when using a quiet voice, approaching the table with her own coffee and a plate piled high with baked goods. 

She gave Alex the moment she knew by now she needed to jump in surprise before settling back into her collected, oh-so-false exterior.  As soon as Alex finished the cycle of looping her facial expressions back to stoic, Astra settled in between the two women at the small, round table in the window, waiting until Alex looked up at her piercing hazel eyes. 

The gaze knocked Alex right out of stoic, back into vulnerable and marked uncomfortableness. 

“You made the right choice at the time.  I would have done the same thing.  And we both agree you won’t have to make that choice again, so let’s please leave it at that and move on.”  Astra put a hand on Alex’s other arm that wasn’t occupied by Kara’s hand, giving Alex a jolt she didn’t know was possible when she squeezed. 

Alex cleared her throat and nodded, shaken by the contact but not wanting it to stop—worse, not understanding why she didn’t want it to stop. 

The agent was quiet for the rest of the morning, allowing Kara and her Aunt to banter back and forth, laughing over memories of their home from so long ago.  Alex couldn’t stop looking at Astra if it were to save her life. 

The uncomfortable feeling was still there, and still unidentified in Alex’s mind.  But now, it was pre-occupied with Astra’s hand having visited her arm, somewhat wishing it would happen again. 

Making Alex more confused than ever. 

* * *

_“Tell me how it happened.”_

_Captain Astra’s eyes immediately blazed open, hearing the voice from the makeshift bunk set up in the Captain’s Quarters, across from her own._

_She had meant it when she promised Alexandra that her crew was not allowed anywhere near her, even though the Captain knew that outside of battle, they were harmless merry-men out on the sea for rest between stops at ports for drinking, gambling, and picking up women.  The fact that they could muster up the strength and seriousness to follow through on boarding a ship to rob amazed her, as she thought of the pack of men who teased each other like brothers rather than a band of vicious robbers._

_Still, she kept Alexandra close, feeling a familiar possessiveness take over her decisions._

_Even after Alexandra had refused to leave the ship and rejoin her husband once their debt disagreement had been settled._

_“How what happened?”_

_“How you became a pirate?  And why you’re so strong?”_

_Astra thought for a moment.  Was this going to be the time she finally tells Alexandra the whole truth?  How she is five hundred years old, and is going to live at least five hundred more?_

_How could she?  How could she explain to her human being from a world so far away from the one they were on now? Would the human even be able to grasp the concept without Astra scooping her up to fly in the sky to prove it? Something that would be so terrifying, surely it would cause her love’s heart to stop?_

_No, surely Alexandra would think she were drunk.  Or someone who should be locked up as a lunatic. And things were going so well—she and Alexandra had spent time together so Astra could show her how to shoot a blunderbuss—one of the few on a ship in the Atlantic, in addition to one of three existing Puckle guns, both won by Astra during card games.  Of course, news in port travelled quickly, so Astra new it was only a few years before every Captain would have one of each, once they heard that Captain Astra, with the strength of ten men, had them._

_However, they most certainly wouldn’t have the versions with Kryptonian lasers carefully attached and hidden that did most of the precision damage._

_And then, there was that superhuman strength, that she knew Alexandra had witnessed for the short bit they were on shore, that she had yet to come up with an explanation for._

_The strength, which was the reason very large men were willing to be under her as a woman Captain._

_Astra sighed._

_“I will.  Some day.”_

_Alexandra laughed.  “Why are you putting off telling me things you know you’ll eventually give in to?”_

_Astra couldn’t help when her cocky Captain attitude took over.  It was a reflex._

_“Why are you still sleeping in your own bed, when you know you are putting off doing things you know you’ll eventually give in to?”_

_The smirk Astra worn dropped when she felt the bed dip, the warmth of Alexandra settling in on her side, breath tickling her cheek, a feminine scent running through her nostrils even after days at sea._

_“You were saying, Captain?”_

* * *

“It’s like an elaborate track and release program, like tagging animals.”  Winn’s face immediately fell, realizing his stumble. “Not that we think you’re all animals! If anything, we’re the animals.  Tiny, weak animals that you should feel too bad about to hurt in any way and--”

“Small man, I am not going to hurt you.”  Astra smirked, looking at the screens Winn was attempting to describe to her.  Truth be told, even though the General would never, ever just hurt someone out of a jab, accidental or otherwise, she somewhat enjoyed that humans automatically shook in their boots at the idea of offending her. 

“I understand the concept.  If you let the criminals go with trackers, you can find their gang nests, track their routes, gather valuable information.  Understandable.” 

Astra made her voice soothing so that Winn would finally calm down and not think he was in any danger.

It amazed Astra to no end how many people at the DEO had this thought pattern, working with Supergirl and J’onn for years, but terrified of her presence. 

“Good.  So then, you’re in?” 

“I don’t believe I heard a plan that involved me.” 

“Oh!  Well, like you said, we track their nests, their routes…which would require someone on foot to retrace their steps to find exactly what’s going on and where.  Just seeing on a screen that they go from pizza ship to pizza shop doesn’t help if we don’t have someone out there to ID faces, if there are contraband drops, well, we’d prefer two someones if we can free up Agent Alex.” 

“Alex doesn’t need to be bothered with this.  It’s simple information gathering.  I can handle it.”

“These aren’t regular criminals, General, with all due respect.  They are aliens.  Which means you need a field buddy.” 

Astra groaned.  “If you must ask Alex, please have Kara do it.  And we will respect if she chooses to opt out of this mission.”

“Alex never turns down a mission.”

“She could turn down this one.”

“I don’t think she wi-ill.”  Winn sing-songed, spinning in his chair with a grin, waiting for Astra to argue with him a bit more.

“…You already asked her, didn’t you?”  Astra squinted at Winn, his ‘please don’t hurt me’ grin answering the question for the General. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And slowest updater award goes to....I'm sorry! So sorry that hopefully the next one will be up faster.   
> (gosh I hope 'slowest updater' isn't really one of the fanfic awards on any site anywhere, because of course my name will be on it)

Astra didn’t even try to hide the worry in her furrowed brow, watching Alex, still unconscious, on the med bay cot.  The General turned on her tunnel vision, blocking out anything that wasn’t a scan of Alex.  She was too unsure if holding Alex’s hand would be overstepping her bounds in present time, instead tensing her fingers around her own knees.

She watched Alex’s chest move up and down with breath, moving up to her head again, doing yet another x-ray scan of the concussion that appeared to be mild, but still had been enough to knock Alex unconscious. 

Kara wasn’t sure where her eyes should land.  She hopped back and forth between also watching Alex’s breath, knowing it was only a matter of time before she woke up, and curiously watching Astra’s distraught state over Alex’s lack of movement. 

She imagined it would be a similar response if she were laid out on the bed—unresponsive, the rhythm of breath the only indication of life—but it wasn’t her.  It was Alex. 

Alex who only tolerated Astra’s presence.  Alex, who Astra had tried to make nice with over and over again, only to be marginally successful.  Nothing to indicate that Astra should be as upset over Alex’s injuries as she was, unless…

“Astra.  None of this is your fault.” 

Astra simply nodded, monitoring Alex’s breathing and heart rate. 

“Hey.”  Kara put her hand on Astra’s shoulder, moving to sit next to her Aunt.  “I know how you are with people under your command.”  Kara stopped when she heard the harsh exhale.

“Kara, do you really believe that at any point I have command over Alexandra?”  Astra turned to look at Kara. 

“Well, I suppose not…J’onn barely has command of her in the field.  Or of me, if we’re being honest—who’s actually in charge here?” 

Alex gasped awake, bruises shining to light on her forehead.

“Alex!” Two Kryptonians gasped.

“Captain!” Alex gasped back, eyes looking wildly around her. 

* * *

_Earlier_  

Alex insisted they waited until after sundown before going out into the winding downtown streets of National City to follow the tagged criminals to their nests. 

It still had astounded the agent that Winn had not only devised the GPS tracking unit that could be embedded in an arm or leg, but that at only the size of a grain of rice, it would be undetectable by both feeling and sight. 

Sometimes Winn’s innocent genius took an unintendedly darker turn, the tech wiz never considering the implications should that technology fall into the wrong hands. To be fair, that was true of most of Winn’s inventions.

“Remember, this is my mission.  I’m running it.” Alex stated plainly, as she sat down next to Astra with two non-alcoholic beers in the window seat facing the street of a bar that conveniently shown as being central to the criminals’ nightly wanderings. 

Astra smirked, “Of course.  You’re in charge.”

Alex was most certainly not in charge.  She wasn’t at Astra’s General rank, nor did she seem to be deterred by this reality. 

Astra did notice, however, that instead of the standard two feet of space Alex generally left between them, at minimum, Alex was sitting close.  Side-by-side. In civilian clothes, further reinforcing their reconnaissance mission.

Close enough that Astra would let Alex be in charge of whatever she damn well pleased. 

* * *

_Still Earlier…_

An hour in, and Astra had already had enough of sitting and just marking down what criminals passed, and what directions they headed in. 

The excitement of each beep on the tablet they kept between the two of them was quickly squashed, as each tagged alien quickly moved into a store, shop, restaurant, or adjacent block, with Alex marking down on a notepad the final destination, returning to her faux-beer.  Astra watched every tick mark on the notepad, sighing her boredom loudly.

“You’re very quiet while you work.” 

Alex swallowed.  She knew Astra wasn’t about to leave well enough alone.

Ever since they had coffee with Kara, Alex had been torn between looking forward to seeing Astra, and feeling uneasy.  Currently, she was pretending that tracking seemingly next to nothing was a very, very important task.

It didn’t escape her notice that for some reason Astra watched her a whole lot more than she watched any of the aliens, for some reason fascinated with Alex’s handwriting.  It affected her more than she cared to explore.

Alex had no explanation as to why she felt the need to wear jewelry and perfume to a work mission, but here she was.  She was so mixed up in her own head as soon as they had sat down that she hadn’t noticed Astra had done the same.

“Well, we don’t want to miss anything.”  Alex smacked herself as soon as that came out.  _No need to sound flippant, Danvers.  She really is here to help_.  Alex sighed, trying to think of something more friendly to say.

“What do you know about this species?  A lot of them have been out tonight.”  _Better, Danvers._

Astra’s face lit up at the question, making Alex blush.

“Generally, non-shape shifting humanoids like these are not prone to criminal activities.  I’m surprised there are so many tagged. It’s true this species doesn’t like to work for a living, the way earthling typically do, especially for so many hours a day, but a large criminal network seemed unlikely to me.  Look—” Astra pointed to a new dot on the tablet, then they watched as the alien associated with the dot walked briskly past, going directly into the pizza parlor across the street, getting right into the line. 

No indication he was up to any shady business at all. 

“Huh.” Alex thought this over.  They hadn’t seen any patterns all night, such as all of the tagged criminals going to one location, which would indicate a meeting or at least the location of a crime boss.  It was honestly getting unbearably boring.  Alex hated having to sit still for more than an hour or so—it’s why being a scientist for the DEO was much, much better than being a Scientist for a conventional lab, sitting on a stool all day. 

“Well, we might as well call it a night.  We mapped out what looks like a list of ‘aliens’ favorite bars and restaurants’, should we ever want to write that travel book, and not much else--”

“Wait.  What’s that?” 

Astra noticed a beeping dot on the tablet map that was red instead of blue, corresponding to an alien with a green tinted type of skin, almost snake like, but with human-ish features. 

“That’s—interesting, and definitely different than—wow! He’s moving fast.”  Alex started throwing the tablet and the notebook in her sidebag.  “Let’s go.”  Alex looked back up just in time to see the alien knock into someone, not even stopping to apologize.

“Alex, no!  This is just for observation. There’s no reason to believe he’s any more of a threat than anyone else.” 

“Are you coming?”  Alex asked, not even looking back over her shoulder to procure the answer, full well knowing Astra was following her. 

* * *

_1717_

_“Alexandra, I do not think this is a wise or prudent attack.”_

_Alexandra continued peering through the telescope, carefully counting how many pirates were on the other ship, waiting for heads to pop up or show themselves in the windows on the starboard side, getting a grasp of how many were above and below deck at any given time._

_It was a calculation that Alex had run many times over the past few days, each time getting more and more serious about invading the ship that was not even bothering to hide that they were part of the opium trade._

_“Eight above deck, only three or four below, most likely cleaning or cooking. We could overpower them easily.”_

_Astra paused at that.  A small crew it seemed indeed._

_“Weapons?”_

_“Standard.  Cutlass on each pirate, no signs of anything stronger.”_

_Interesting indeed, the Captain thought.  Not only did her own crew each get a sword, they also each had a hidden knife as a backup, and the ship had invested significantly in newer explosive weapons, as unreliable as they were.  However, the cannons on the sides had proven a useful new addition.  But if the crew on the Opium ship were as small as Alexandra had said, the most likely wouldn’t even need them.  They could force board and fight hand to hand._

_It didn’t hurt, of course, that the Captain happened to be a Kryptonian who was nearly invincible, who could easily pick up two at a time and throw them overboard._

_However, her crew lived to fight.  Because they never, ever lost a fight, they invaded other ships much less frequently than most pirate bands. Her men were starting to get wound up.  It would be a good opportunity to let them meet their aggression needs, and stop the next round of drugs heading to the Caribbean—she hated how many crewmen she had lost to the substance, getting hooked on the mainland, ending their lives on the sea, and soon after, ending their lives altogether._

_Alexandra had a particular twinkle in her eye, anxious to try out her newly learned swordsmanship in a real battle. It was a small crew, so Astra could watch and make sure nothing happened to her companion._

_“All hands on deck!  Prepare to approach enemy ship!”  She shouted, earning a cheer from the crew, and a broad smile from Alexandra that would make any damage to the ship from battle surely worth it._

* * *

“Alex!  It’s okay.  Wow she must have really been clocked hard—probably harder than we thought.”  Kara and Astra were both immediately standing over Alex, frantically waiting for confirmation that Alex was indeed okay. 

Instead, they were met with Alex looking confused at both Kara and Astra, back and forth, the squinting at Astra. 

“Alex, can you understand me?” Astra asked hopefully, relaxing a bit at Alex’s nod to the affirmative. 

“I’m going to go get Mom--earth Mom, I mean.”  Kara ran out, with Astra making sure she was out of even Kryptonian earshot before saying anything else. 

“Alex, do you know who I am?” 

Alex nodded again.  “You’re Astra.  The General.  I don’t know why I said that.  It’s just the first thing that came to mind.”

Astra’s eyes went wide.  Alex’s answer confirmed that she was indeed fully conscious of what she had called her upon first waking.

“It’s alright.  You were hit in the head by a Jin Shinku, which not only hurts but interferes with your energy field.”  Alex touched the spot on her head that had been hit and winced, knowing the large golf ball bump meant some nasty discoloration. 

“Let me get you some ice--” Alex’s had shot out, grabbing Astra by the forearm. 

“It’s fine.  If Kara’s getting Mom then I’m about to get what we call the ‘good drugs’.” 

Astra sat back down next to Alex, reversing the grip, holding onto Alex’s arm.

“You didn’t need to chase after him into the alley.”

“Yeah, but we both kinda wanted to.”  Astra chuckled, knowing she was right.  Given the safe choice or the adventure, she always chose the adventure.  It was good to see her Alexandra was still the same.

Alex and Astra took a moment to look at each other, the General realizing that eye contact from Alex was a rare event, but when it happened, it was Alex looking right through her.  The injured agent held her gaze, like she was expecting more from Astra. 

Like she was looking at more than just Astra, squinting, then smirking, but staying silent.

“Alex! You’re awake!”  Eliza announced the obvious, barreling right through to Alex with her doctor’s kit, immediately pulling out the light to look at Alex’s pupils. 

“I’ll go get some water.”  Astra excused herself, finally exhaling when she was out of the room. 

_She knows something_.  Astra was sure of it, reviewing the way Alex had stared at her in her head over and over again, before deciding for the moment that ‘head injury’ was her least complicated explanation, reciting that story over and over again in her head before going anywhere near Alex again.

 


	4. Chapter 4

_1922_

_Astra cursed herself in the kitchen of her newly formed underground speakeasy.  She carelessly flung around the parts of the first aid kit, keen to bandage herself up as quickly as possible._

_Of course, when putting together the space for women to drink in this dirty, cutthroat city, she considered the dangers outside of the doors—men who leered at women who drank in public, assuming because they engaged in something illegal that they were also more apt to go home with them.  It wasn’t long before Astra had enough of that, deciding to make a new space._

_However, the need for access to a first aid kit didn’t cross her mind.  When she had first purchased it at the suggestion of a patron, she simply threw it in a drawer somewhere.  She had no intention of letting a fight ever break out to the point of someone getting hurt, and she certainly didn’t need it._

_Until she needed to pretend that she needed it, after a glass shattered in her hand in a very public way._

_At least, if she bandaged herself up as quickly as possible, nobody had a chance to realize that the glass that had shattered in her hand, from her own unexplained strength, hadn’t even left a scratch, much less the massive cut that should have been present but wasn’t._

_“Damnit!  Damnit all to hell!”  Astra cursed loudly to keep the staff away while she fumbled for the bandages._

_Then there was the matter that there would be no bloody bandages, so she would have to hide the trash right away as well._

_“Pardon me, Miss, but perhaps I can be of assistance.”_

_Astra didn’t need to look up to know who it was._

_Her Alexandra, whom everyone was referring to as “Allie”, the biologist from Vassar College.  Too old to be a student, but Astra thought too young to be a professor—a researcher, perhaps? Allie Baker had turned in up in a group of women who were known around the women’s bars every weekend as very intelligent, but very rowdy. The woman who Astra had recognized as soon as she set foot in the establishment, after learning of the password._

_The woman that Astra was trying to impress with her cocktail skills, which is what led to the shattered glass and the need to feign human weakness._

_Damnit!  Why were humans still using bandages like barbarians?  How had they not discovered skin graft peels yet? They were so convenient and never really expired…and then there was the matter of peroxide, and the ridiculous overuse of heroin for pain that still ravaged the upper circles of New York, which were mostly her clientele, not to mention her first tango with Listerine, all of which had Astra wondering how any of these earth humans lived past the age of seven at all._

_“I’m fine, but thank you for your concern. I can handle a cut. The next round is on me for your troubles.”_

_Astra looked up, finding Allie, round-rim glasses, red hair pulled back tight, right next to her.  The Kryptonian was frozen—not expecting to see a face so familiar yet so different within a breath’s length._

_Allie took the ‘injured’ hand away from the medicine box gently, reverently holding it in one hand while gently stroking it with the other._

_“There is no cut, is there?”_

* * *

Of course, it appeared that Astra was avoiding Alex after she had awoken.  Really, she wasn’t intending to do so, she just needed to clear her thoughts.  Taking longer and more frequent runs through the city, the sunshine and fresh air aided her mental capacities as she tried to flesh out her next move.

Out of all the scenarios that could manifest in this dimension, in this universe that she inhabited for what felt like forever, but she knew would ultimately be finite, not once had she pictured a reality where Alex knew that she was a Kryptonian.  Where that reality could be spoken of, openly, without fear of retribution, of scaring Alex away, of sounding insane, of humans attempting to lock her up for being insane, of Alex never looking at her the same again, but instead where Alex knew and _understood_ who and what she was. 

She truly never thought it possible.  Astra had fully intended to allow Alex to incarnate over and over, never being able to speak the truth, until they met for the last time, when Astra met the end of her own life cycle. 

According to general Kryptonian lifespans, that was still quite a few Alex incarnations away.

Nobody knew what happened to Kryptonians after they died, but at the very least Kryptonian scientists and theologians alike agreed—for the most part—that they didn’t reincarnate.  But now, there was a chance that Alex would know what she was, and maybe would fall in love with her again knowing the truth. 

Even though the latter thought seemed less and less likely, the more that Astra considered their time together thus far in this particular version of Alex.

Still, it was more than she could ever have asked for.  So many, many times she had wished Alex could know the truth.  She had pictured telling Alex many, many times. And now that the timeline was finally here where that was possible, Alex was a little _too_ close to the rest of the truth. 

Astra started to run faster, knowing she was pushing the boundary of how fast was ‘normal’ for a human to run outside.

Then again, wasn’t she constantly pushing that line, intentionally or not? 

And what scared Astra more than Alex knowing her true nature was if Alex understood that she reincarnated, while Astra didn’t.  That Astra had memories of her that she had no knowledge of.

There were reasons why Astra never discussed memories from before Kara was born with anyone, not even Kara. 

Who would even understand?

Kara was a baby still by Kryptonian standards.  Being twenty-six when one would live to be hundreds of years old meant if she were a less intelligent species Kara would still be in diapers.

Would Kara fall in love with a human and shoulder the same fate as her Aunt? Astra couldn’t tell if it was something she would wish upon the young woman or not. 

But Alex, yet again, was close to the truth. 

Too close. 

* * *

_1717_

_“I am truly, truly sorry, Alexandra.”  The Captain apologized again and again, having let the woman out of her sight for a mere minute to take stock of the loot they would be hauling off of the enemy ship, making sure any actual opium would be thrown overboard, lest any of her crewmen sample the damning substance and become hooked immediately, as was known to happen to men of the seas._

_“How many times can one apologize? It is not your fault.  I suggested we go into battle. I wanted us to overpower that ship, and we did. How were you to know that there was one pirate left, hiding behind the barrels? As though you could see through them.”_

_The comment only served to make the weary, tired Captain more upset.  Because the truth was, if she had thought to x-ray scan below deck, she most certainly could have found the last man standing before he could attack Alexandra._

_The hiding pirate had a handheld blunderbuss, but clearly had been out of ammunition, Stuffing it with any sorts of shards and scraps he could find—which were then fired into Alexandra’s shoulder at close range._

_Not deadly, but certainly painful, with dozens of metal and blazing wood scraps becoming embedded in the unofficial First Mate’s shoulder, which Astra had been taking care to remove as carefully as possible, piece by piece, sometimes pausing to wipe down with cool water, sometimes pausing to give Alexandra a sip of liquor to dull the pain._

_She almost regretted making sure all of the opium was overboard.  It did seem to have a medicinal purpose, at least for some, before they ultimately would succumb to the addiction.  But in this instance, if she had saved a tiny bit for the pain, just for one night, she would have kept some._

_If only._

_“It isn’t your fault.”  Alexandra said again, letting Astra continue her gentle wiping of the cuts, even though all the shards were out._

* * *

“It isn’t your fault.”  Kara said, as she sat between Astra and Alex while J’onn briefed the team on the attack Alex had endured. 

As Kara said the words, Astra noticed Alex’s gaze shoot over to them, hand moving to the birthmark on her shoulder.  The birthmark that Astra wasn’t supposed to know was there, but was there every time for the last two hundred years. 

The General froze. 

Had Alex remembered something else? Or was it merely an innate reaction?

Before Astra had refused to go back to Krypton, which was of course before it was destroyed, Kryptonian scientists had theorized that prior life experiences became embedded in the DNA, with traits learned in previous lives resurfacing in the next incarnation.

Which, of course, they had no proof of, but instead entirely too much time on their hands to come up with theories before any data surfaced, in Astra’s opinion. 

“Alex was lucky.  Her dedication to hand-to-hand combat training and careful study of species groups is why Agent Danvers was able to escape with minimal damage.  However, a Jin Shinku can do both physical damage and energy damage.  What that looks like depends on the background and training of the individual Shinku itself. Agent, can you tell us about the effects of the attack?” 

All six heads in the front row turned to look at Alex, in the second row with the Kryptonians.  Even in the darkness that allowed for J’onn’s PowerPoint presentation consisting of pictures of known Jin Shinku on earth, she could see each pair of eyes looking to her for answers.

“Nothing particularly amazing, Sir.  A mild concussion.  Maybe an energy hit, as I felt drained of my own energy, very tired and hungry after the hit.  But back at one-hundred percent now.” 

Astra watched the way Alex’s eyes didn’t land on any one person as she spoke, instead making contact with the top of each head, bouncing around. 

_She’s lying._

Astra continued to watch as Alex described recommending everyone go out with head gear, since clearly the creature knew to hit humans on that particularly vulnerable spot, and also to wear as much lined with non-conductive metals as possible to deflect an energy hit.  In fact, she was recommending full gear of it.

_One-hundred percent my ass._

Kara seemed to be taking Alex’s word for it, and for whatever reason the redhead deemed it necessary to keep the details of the attack experience to herself.  Which worried her even more. 

* * *

_1922_

_Astra was still shaken by her interaction with Allie in the back kitchen. The woman had her frozen in space, as though shot with frost-breath and left to thaw._

_The redhead in the round-rimmed glasses had simply smiled, knowingly stroking the uninjured hand, before helping the barkeep find the bandages, performing the faux-wrap._

_“I’m afraid I already have a full drink out there.  So, if I may politely decline, I would like to suggest that you save a dance for me instead.”  Allie flashed a gentle smile._

_Astra simply nodded, terrified that Allie was about to walk out back into the main bar and announce that the owner of the establishment had a much deeper secret than the illegal liquor and once-a-week dice game that occurred behind what was a library to the outside world._

_In hundreds of years on earth, not once had she been outed as an alien.  Certainly not by her beloved.  She had been very careful, very calculating—what if this was the one time she slipped?_

_Astra started work right away, reassuring the patrons at the bar that her hand was more than fine to continue, and no, she didn’t bleed into anyone’s drink.  She kept her head down, peering up occasionally to the small, round table that held Allie and her friends._

_Every time she looked up, the eyes behind the brown, round glasses, were looking back, even while engaged in conversation._

_Every time she met those magnified pupils she quickly looked down, hoping the biologist wasn’t attempting to read her look._

_It wasn’t a threatening look by any means.  Astra figured Allie wasn’t telling anyone about her true nature.  But what exactly did Alex know of her true nature?  Why was this Alex so calm upon discovering her uncanny biological condition?_

_What scared her almost as much as being outed was dancing with Allie.  The words ran over and over in her head._

_“I would like to suggest that you save a dance for me instead.”_

_Oh, Astra would like nothing more.  She had seen the earth man-woman couples on dancefloors many times, fitting together perfectly, hand-to-waist, hand-to-shoulder, head tucking in neatly—she wanted nothing more than to do so with Allie._

_She was already breaking so many, many laws.  And she was very aware that her patrons were mostly women who enjoyed the company of other women, but were still discreet—just because someone kept quiet about your drinking spot, or even choice of wardrobe, as many women were wearing trousers of the masculine variety, didn’t mean everyone would keep quiet of women started openly dancing together._

_What if it escalated even further?_

_To be caught with liquor was easy.  A fine here, a bribe there.  It never worried Astra._

_Being labeled a pervert, being a target—having her picture in the newspaper, having her patrons jailed for misconduct—was it worth it?  For a dance?_

_She didn’t even have a live band, afraid the speakeasy would make too much noise, even though the library was long closed before she opened up shop each night.  Instead, music crooned from  a phonograph in the corner, where she manually changed the records as they ran out of notes._

_Astra busied herself restocking the glasses that had been washed and brought out by the bar back, occasionally looking up at Allie Baker’s group.  The women laughed loudly, like they had nothing to be afraid of._

_Astra had asked around about them here and there from her trusted patrons. They all worked independently, none of them taking husbands save for Betsy Stilton, who was known to wear the pants in that relationship, literally.  Rumor had it they had worked on the Suffragette movement, and continued to educate young girls about the importance of being able to vote._

_Maybe they didn’t have anything to be afraid of._

_Astra watched Allie’s hand pick up the gin drink that Astra had sweetened with honey to make the bootleg booze more tolerable.  Skinny, long fingers, but far from dainty—how would they feel wrapped around the small of her back for a dance?_

_The more Astra thought about it, the more afraid she became of the consequences._

_Could she really deny her Alexandra?_

_Astra put the glasses down, grateful for a small, weeknight crowd of mostly regulars.  She walked over to the record player, sifting through her collection with shaking, bandaged hands, looking for the answer to one question:  What was the longest song she owned, suitable for a close, slow dance?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. A more timely update--I feel better about myself and this story already :)   
> Thanks for stopping by!


	5. Chapter 5

_1922_

_Astra took a breath in, now that the song she had selected was playing.  The Kryptonian found it helpful to keep up on the newest music as a bar owner, something her patrons seemed to appreciate._

_A bandaged hand gripped the side of the phonograph, unsure what to do next.  The idea of dancing with Alexandra—no, Allie—made her dizzy with the anticipation.  Not that she’d ever slow danced before, but she’d seen enough of the activity to know it wasn’t as difficult as moving to a fast song.  A pair seemed to simply hold on to each other and sway back and forth.  But could they sink up?  What if that wasn’t it?_

_Before Astra could feel safe enough to let go of the phonograph without fainting, she felt a hand on her arm._

_Allie was there, turning the hesitant woman around._

_“Lovely choice of song.”  Allie said, seeming pleased.  Astra nodded._

_“It’s new—I’m not sure it’ll catch on. But people seem to enjoy listening to music while breaking the law, and I believe I can be accommodating in this request so they continue to partake—”_

_“There’s no need to be nervous.”  Astra’s mouth shut, noticing that Allie’s hands were now firmly holding her hips, keeping still allowing for some distance between them._

_When had they maneuvered into this embrace?  Astra didn’t even realize her hands were moved to shoulders, only an inch or so higher up than her own._

_“I’ve been wanting to talk to you.”  Allie smiled, allowing Astra’s bandaged hand to move to her neck, not minding the scratchy feel of the bandage.  “My name is Allie Baker.  We heard about this place from Dorothy when she came up to speak at the college.  I’m sorry we’ve just been showing unannounced--”_

_“It’s quite alright.  That’s why we have the password system.  I assumed you were trustworthy when you knew what to say. I’ll tell the doorman not to ask you for it moving forward if you’d like.”_

_Astra hoped a gesture of trust would be met with trust.  Namely, coaxing Allie into her continued ignoring of the missing cut on her hand._

_“Is that your way of offering something for my silence?” Astra stopped swaying immediately.  Apparently she would have no such luck._

_“That wasn’t a threat—I just meant.”  Allie kept her hands on Astra’s waist, pulling her a tad closer to lower her voice.  “I just meant I’ve heard of people like you.  With expedited healing powers.  Legends of such have been passed down for years—I even teach a Mythology of Human Biology course.”_

_Astra’s ears perked up at that one._

_Legends?  About her people?  Where were these to be found?  Were they explicitly about aliens?_

_“I am intrigued.”  And disappointed, if Astra were honest.  She was hoping Allie wanted to dance upon feeling the shared attraction between them whenever their eyes connected.  But if what Allie needed right now was more of a confidante, then Astra would oblige.  As long as her Alexandra inevitably found her way back to her, she was satisfied._

_“Are you now?”  Allie pulled back to look her in the eyes.  “I won’t tell anyone.  But perhaps you’d like to talk more? I’ve always suspected the anthropological material was more than just superstition, but I’ve never been able to talk to someone about it for fear of being laughed at.”_

_“A woman who boldly asks another woman to dance has fears about a mere conversation!”_

_Allie laughed at that, Astra smiling back._

_The talk had done well to relax the barkeep, who hadn’t noticed that not only were they not being stared at for being two women dancing, but that several other couples had gotten up to join, all other couples of solely women, the few men drinking about seemed more than content to ignore the music and continue with their conversations._

_It was a lovely sight!  Astra could not be more pleased.  She had dreamed of creating a truly safe space, where women could drink and dress as they pleased like they did on Krypton—at least, the last time she was there a few hundred years earlier—but it was working._

_“I must admit, while you are feeling trepidation at such a request, I feel emboldened.”  Astra smiled larger, pulling Allie closer, hoping she wasn’t being too forward, but feeling a confidence boost._

_Allie responded by moving her hands from resting on the alien’s waist to the small of her back, just as Astra had imagined she would._

_“I like boldness.  Very much so.”  The phrase was whispered in sensitive ears, low enough that Astra weren’t sure the speaker intended for her to hear._

_“Would I be wrong to assume that your friends generally stay the night in the city when you come out on Friday nights?”_

_“You would not be wrong—we generally stay the weekend.”_

_Astra thought of how she would craft her next question carefully, not wishing to sound too imposing._

_Or worse, have Allie think she were perverted, trying to lure her home in a predatory manner._

_“If you’re curious about me, about your legends, then perhaps we can converse—but somewhere more private.  I hope this does not sound too forward, but I have a--”_

_“I’d love to.”_

_“I didn’t form my proposal yet.”_

_“It doesn’t matter.”  Allie shrugged, keeping Astra close as they swayed together.  “Whatever it is, if it involves still talking with you, I’d enjoy it very much.”_

* * *

 

The flashbacks were starting to effect Agent Danvers more than she would ever admit. 

Any reasons why an alien would choose this particular form of attack was beyond her.  It just didn’t make any sense from any perspective—criminal, military, as a defense attack, even for just evil entertainment.  Alex expected an energy attack to hurt.  Or at the very least, seem to serve some type of purpose, such as stunning her nervous system or an immune attack. 

Why on earth and all the planets aligned would a creature have an attack that implants false memories?

And not particularly scary or unpleasant ones?

But they kept surfacing.  She kept having flashes of memories that she could recall in pieces.  Except they weren’t real.  Even if they felt real, felt like she had been present when the memory occurred.

She thought that maybe the functional purpose was to be confusing.  An energy attack that implanted false memories must serve some purpose, she mused. 

But then why were all of them of Astra? 

Nothing implanted about her family, Kara, J’onn, fake enemies—and not only did Alex know they weren’t real, but they also weren’t realistic.  Memories of Astra as a pirate—how ridiculous! She and Astra meeting in the countryside wearing clothing clearly of centuries ago.  Astra mixing cocktails with early jazz in the background. Astra undressing while they were in a barn on a pile of hay.

It was all just so _strange_ , and seemingly random.

Stranger it seemed were the bits and pieces of the memories that bubbled up were never whole—a conversation here, a look there, but more often than not, they involved Astra declaring her love for Alex, which considering how attractive the Kryptonian was in real live, the Agent knew could just be a sick joke, if that were the attack’s objective.

Were these meant to perhaps lull her into a false sense of trust of the Kryptonian?  Were the memories implanted to draw her to the alien, so the criminals could take the two of them out at once?

Alex waited until the evening, waiting until she could utilize the alien database without Winn looking over her shoulder or J’onn asking her what she was up to.  Who could she honestly talk to about this? 

Not only did she not wish to share that she had false memories planted, but she certainly didn’t want to share that they were of Kara’s Aunt, and mostly romantic in nature.

Why couldn’t the Jin Shinku just make them dreams?  That way, she could enjoy each scenario without it flashing before her eyes while at work—

_What are you even thinking, Danvers?_ Enjoying the scenario? 

Alex shook her head, sneaking over to the alien database to learn more about the energy hit, and most importantly, how long these effects were meant to last. 

* * *

“Kara, what is going on? Why are we meeting secretly in the darkest corner of a bar?” She looked at her niece, noticing the popped collar on her jacket, sunglasses, tendency to avoid eye contact with anyone in the room—all of which didn’t serve in any way to hide who she was to the General.

“Shhhh!”  Kara said, only taking her sunglasses off when Astra sat down.  “I had to be certain we were somewhere Alex wouldn’t see us.” 

“And why would we be doing that?”

Kara looked around, making sure nobody would overhear.  The alien hero had noticed Alex spacing out—well, more and more frequently.  When they were in meetings, when they were out with friends as a group, even when Kara was simply talking to her over brunch.  Her crime-solving side was strongly sounding the alarms that something was wrong.

“Something’s going on with Alex.”  Astra kept her face as neutral as possible, nodding in agreement without giving too much away.

“I’m listening.  Continue.”

“I think the Jin Shinku attack messed with her head.  And honestly, it’s scaring me that she’s not saying anything.  She keeps saying she’s fine, but I don’t know what’s going on in there! She could be hearing voices, she could be having hearing blackouts—I mean, what if this thing is putting her in danger in some way?”

Astra let out a sigh. The younger Kryptonian truly was young, and so unaware of so many things about this universe. 

“I agree with you that something’s going on, but the species that hit Alex isn’t capable of implanting ongoing voices.  An energy attack is one hit, it doesn’t have control capabilities.” 

Kara seemed a bit relieved at that, actually picking up the drink in front of her that Astra had assumed were only there as decoys. 

“Well, something’s happening, so we need to act.” 

“We can’t force her to talk.”  Astra said, trying to figure out a way to make Kara back off of Alex.  She didn’t know exactly what Alex knew, but she knew that she knew _something_ , and yes, Kara was correct, something was most certainly bothering Alex. 

“No, but I think a little good old fashioned ‘Good cop, bad cop’ would do us some good.” 

“Good cop, bad cop?”  Astra asked, looking at Kara thinking she had just been asked to play some sort of ‘duck, duck, goose’, which she had only recently found out about from seeing children in a park calling each other what were clearly incorrect names. 

“Er, like, good Venus Military Defender, Bad Venus Military Defender—but here they’re called cops.  But you have to be the bad cop.” 

As Kara explained their roles in an upcoming discussion that the younger Kryptonian clearly had all planned out, Astra didn’t like this ‘bad cop’ business one bit. 

* * *

Astra was at the pool table at the alien bar early, practicing the game that she could never quite get a hold of. 

Apparently, the trick was to hit the balls very gently by Kryptonian standards, getting the balls into the little holes. Easier said than done, as her first instinct was always to smack the little white ball as hard as she could, her first round sacrificing a stick rather than making any actual shots. 

So when they were meeting up at night, she practiced being gentle. It was a skill that the battle-weary General had yet to master.  She had spent the night up googling the phrase “bad cop”, and was met with horror story after horror story of police officers doing horrible things.  Astra had met quite a few police officers during her time with the DEO, and they all seemed to be honorable soldiers who had chosen local police posts rather than joining the military or FBI. 

But the google stories showed a dark side that she was unaware of.  So, she thought about how Kara said she had to be the ‘bad cop’ tonight—tough, a little mean perhaps, Astra was very uncomfortable with emulating such unexcused behaviors. 

She most certainly refused to be a bad cop.  If Kara was going to be a good cop, she could be a good cop in the conversation as well.  And if Alex wasn’t ready to talk, it was as simple as that. 

* * *

_1922_

_Allie looked around Astra’s apartment, trying not to be rude and start touching things that weren’t hers, but she was fascinated.  The woman who not only had the gall to open her own speakeasy also had her own apartment, that she rented without a husband, in the city on her own._

_Astra appeared like a wall of no fear to her—admiring the woman in many ways.  Allie herself lived in a staff dormitory, an option for unmarried professors.  The idea of going it alone and renting her own apartment never had crossed her mind, but she supposed Astra being a city woman afforded her some opportunities._

_Everything in the home amazed her—clearly, the illegal liquor business treated the owner well.  Astra had a lovely china set, the nicest curtains Allie had ever seen in person, even her own camera and lighting on display in the sitting room.  She mentally made it a note to ask the woman to show her how it worked._

_Astra returned with her tea, handing her the cup and saucer._

_“Thank you.”  Allie took a sip.  “No gin, then?”_

_Astra laughed, not sure if Allie was joking.  “We don’t put alcohol in everything, Allie.  Do you expect a Dentist to check everyone’s teeth in the room?”  Allie smiled, sipping again._

_“No, I suppose not.”  She looked down at Astra’s still bandaged hand, motioning towards the white wrapping.  “There’s no real reason to keep that on, is there?”_

_Astra froze, suddenly feeling more vulnerable than if Allie had asked her to remove her dress.  However, she couldn’t deny that the biologist was correct.  Allie put her tea down, taking Astra’s wrapped hand in her own._

_Astra immediately was mesmerized by Allie’s hands yet again, knowing she would do anything to stay in contact with those fingers.  She also noticed that Allie took her time in unwrapping, fingers brushing the alien’s palm with each pass of the bandage, until there was no wrapping left at all, but still brushing fingers along the palm where a cut should have been._

_The charge that shot through Astra required her to close her eyes for a moment to steady herself.  She needed to feel Alexandra again, and Allie just gave it to her.  The gentle touch on her hand ignited the need for Astra to be reunited with her love._

_She breathed deeply, reminding herself that for this Allie Baker it was the first night she’d ever touched Astra, not a continuation.  She resolved to keep her eyes closed, allowing Allie to take her time._

_She kept herself still; as still as she would if she were hiding, being hunted by a predator, stilling even her breath, even as Allie continued to run her fingertips over her palm.  The fingertips stopped, and Astra opened her eyes just in time to see Allie leaning in, lips pursed slightly before they met her own._

_Oh, Astra had missed the softness of her Alexandra’s lips and breath skipping across her cheek, consciously keeping her need for Allie to an acceptable level, pushing her lips back against the pressure, not wanting to part._

_She held them together for a long time, mouth gently pressed to mouth, breathing through noses, as her head moved gently on its own accord with the waves of feelings washing over her._

_Safety. Gentleness. Softness. Knowing._

_Her arms wrapped around Allie, who immediately mirrored her movements, moving to deepen the kiss._

_Astra knew then, as soon as her embrace was reciprocated with the softest moan, that conversation for the evening was over._


	6. Chapter 6

_1717_

_Alexandra thought that maybe hiding the tiny packet of opium she had stashed away in her bosom wasn’t her brightest idea, given how the Captain was looking at her—specifically that part—over dinner, giving her a knowing that she would be dessert._

_But how to dispose of the substance that she knew Astra so despised?_

_She wasn’t even thinking, really, when she had first tucked it into her waistband—while Astra preferred masculine dress aboard the ship, she continued to wear dresses, forgoing petticoat layers, finding that dresses without petticoats were easy to hike up and run or jump in.  However, she did have on a cumberbun with slots for weaponry._

_While her choice of dress was generally just that—her choice, Alexandra was regretting the lack of places to hide her stash._

_It’s just that the shot from the blunderbuss had hurt so much, it was a pain beyond anything she’d ever endured before her life fell into place as a pirate, that she grabbed the small packet of opium, wrapped in a leather bundle, and tucked it away, sure she was dying and may need it to feel less pain on the way out._

_And then Astra was there, washing the wounds, applying a salve that she kept in her desk that smelled awful but honestly made the tiny scraps, no matter how deep, feel better, and just knowing that she kept on her bodice a substance that created more devilry and delinquency in men then all of piracy itself, one that Astra loathed for the many fellow shipsmen she’d lost to the addition._

_But part of her didn’t want to give it up._

_What if the pain came back?  What if she were injured worse on another raid?  What if someone boarded their ship and attempted to overpower them, as they had done to so many others?_

_Alexandra began referring to the bundle in her head as her “what if” satchel._

_What if, what if, what if._

_Now, however, she needed to find a discreet way to dispose of the what-if satchel, lest her Captain become distracted, or even enraged by it, during what was sure to be an undressing at the midnight hour._

* * *

Alex was intrigued by Kara’s promise that there was a way to play pool in a three-way formation, so that none of the three had to sit out, although Astra had offered.  Kara racked the balls, and began assigning numbers for a round of cutthroat.

“So, how was your day, Alex? We hardly saw you at all.  You know, I miss you when you’re not out in the field with me.”  Kara was laying it on thick, Astra noticed, while pausing to look at her. 

_So sorry, little Kara.  There will be no bad cop here._

“I agree, yes.  It’s not the same when you’re not in the field with us.”  Kara shot Astra a death glare, hoping to convey that was _not_ how “good cop, bad cop” worked.

Alex paused, pretending to line up a shot to sink one of Kara’s balls, but really she was a bit caught off guard.  Had they noticed that she had been sneaking away to scan the database, day after day, only to find no information on exactly what a Jin Shinku energy attack actually _did_  to the unfortunate receiver? 

“I figured you guys can handle routine missions.  You know I wanted to work on my sniping level. My shooting needs some work.”  Alex missed her shot, handing the stick off to Astra, which was her first mistake. She knew it as soon as the alien looked smugly at the table. 

_Shit.  She’s been practicing._

Astra sunk the first of Alex’s balls, making Alex grateful they hadn’t thought to bet on this round.  But clearly, Astra was getting better at hitting more gently.

“It’s not just that, Alex.  I like being in the field with my sister.” Kara sat on a stool on the side of the table, applying blue chalk to the tip of her stick. 

“Yes, Alex.  We like when you’re out in the field with us.”  Astra echoed sweetly, before sinking another on of Alex’s balls.  “Is it so hard to believe that we might enjoy your company?”

“Astra, what are you doing?”  Kara said in a barely-breathed whisper so low that she knew Astra was the only other person who could hear it. 

“I will not be ‘bad-copping’ Alexandra. Let me talk to her.”  She said back, hiding her mouth behind her beer so Alex wouldn’t see her lips moving, even though she was speaking too low for a human to hear. 

Alex didn’t know how to react to Astra being so—well, just directly kind to her.  She wasn’t ever _un_ -kind, but she certainly didn’t have a personality that screamed warm-and-fuzzy.  She figured being sentenced to prison by her own sister probably fizzled any fuzzies right now. 

But she still smiled.  Alex was grateful for that, even if she didn’t understand why.

“Aunt Astra, you will not out-do me on this.”  Astra purposefully missed her fourth shot, so she could whisper at Kara more from behind the glasses. 

“Oh, won’t I? I will not be mean to Alex.” 

“You two are awfully quiet today.  Kara, I’m sorry I didn’t go out with you guys.  I will make it a point to spend less time in the shooting range.  Please take your shot.”  Alex said annoyed, signaling that she was done with that line of conversation. 

“Thank you.  That’s how it’s supposed to be, you know?  We were supposed to be a team.  Sisters.  Sister and sister—I mean, I’m glad Eliza works with us now too.  And Aunt Astra.  But it’s just not the same without the person I tell everything to.”  Kara missed her shot, letting Alex loop back around. 

“Okay!  I got it!”  Alex picked off the rest of Kara’s balls fairly easily, before moving to try to eliminate Astra.  She was _really_ hoping Kara would just drop it.

As she lined up her shot, suddenly Astra was between her and the table. 

“Astra, what are you--”

Astra grabbed both sides of Alex’s face suddenly. 

She knew this was nowhere near what Kara had planned, and Rao forgive her, but whatever was going on with her Alex—she needed to know.

“Alex, how does one woman look so confident, yet so afraid at the same time?” 

The look on Alex’s face, piercing straight back to Astra’s eyes told her that the phrase had struck a nerve. 

* * *

_1922_

_The trembling that Astra felt below her body as she continued to kiss Allie’s neck had started to alarm her._

_“If this is too much, we can stop.  It’s okay.”_

_Astra had noticed the trembling when she had started taking Allie’s dress off, which was soon followed by her own.  Allie’s hands shook, as she grabbed Astra’s face with both hands, pulling her back into their deep kissing, pulling her body down on top._

_The Kryptonian paused for a moment, lingering above Allie’s face._

_“How does one woman look so confident, yet so afraid at the same time?”  She asked._

_Allie didn’t know how to answer her, so she sealed their mouths back together, focusing on being on the confident end of the statement._

_The two women were down to bras and panties, but to Allie, it was overwhelming; the feeling of moving against another woman’s skin—the softness, the warmth—it was unlike any of her previous encounters with women.  Generally, in her previous experiences, there were hands gripping and moving under nightgowns or dresses, but never had she allowed another woman to remove her clothes fully._

_And now, Astra was on top of her, and her arms were around her, and her tongue was moving inside of her mouth, and all she could do was wrap her legs around the barkeeper’s waist, body trembling under the intensity of the feeling.  She could not think of anything so soft—not if one were to run rose petals or satin or any other softness she could think of against her skin, none of it came close to Astra.  Her mind swam in the feeling._

_Until Astra’s voice interrupted the most erotic kiss of Allie’ Baker’s life._

_“Allie, are you still with me?  You’re shaking.”_

_The words finally registered in Allie’s head, keeping Astra’s body held to her own, enveloping the woman in the skin-to-skin embrace._

_“It’s a good shaking.”  Was the response, before Astra’s mouth was captured again._

_If they did nothing else but kiss like this, Allie was sure she could die a happy woman, thoroughly sure she’d be departing from the planet with no regrets.  The closeness of Astra was beyond something she hadn’t even pictured women doing together, and yet here she was, trembling underneath the touch of a woman she’d only spoken to for the very first time a couple of hours earlier._

_Shaky hands ran up and down Astra’s back, becoming more and more steady as their kiss went on—memorizing with finger pads the shape of the places she had held earlier while they were dancing, hands slipping up underneath the white bra from behind._

_With tact and skill that Allie made a mental note to ask about later on, Astra reached behind, undoing her own bra while still kissing, not even missing a beat as the fabric slide down her body, only breaking the lip contact to toss it away, and reach behind Allie to do the same._

_Allie Baker was frozen.  She very, very much wanted to move up, to help Astra get her bra off, so she could feel Astra’s body, chest-to-chest, with her own.  But she had also never seen another woman completely topless before, much less felt breasts against her own body._

_The trembles came back, as Allie openly stared._

_And Astra let her for the moment, blushing at the look of awe in the woman’s eyes beneath her._

_“You can touch me.”_

_It wasn’t a command, or even an urging.  It was a soft offer that relaxed both women, arms reaching around to take off the item, Astra then being guided back down so they could return to being fully front on front._

_Astra moaned, and Allie was in in territory.  The night had escalated way beyond anything she had imagined when she accepted Astra’s invitation back to her private apartment._

_She had thought they’d talk, as Allie was so eager to do upon meeting a real live person with supernatural abilities.  Maybe they’d dance more, closer without the prying eyes of the other patrons._

_Even dreaming they’d kiss was more than Allie thought possible._

_Now, as Astra slipped a nipple into her mouth, Allie moaned, feeling her eyes roll back into her head._

_“Mmmm.”  She heard the noises of satisfaction coming from the head attached to her chest, but was too overwhelmed by tingling goodness to form a coherent thought.  The heady haze continued, as Astra switched nipples, suckling with just the right amount of pressure that Allie’s lower half had begun grinding up on auto-pilot, hands gripping a naked back._

_Allie’s haze continued until she realized the mouth that had been so warm and perfect on her breasts had begun trailing downward, creating a slick tongue-induced trail lower, causing the trembling to start again._

_“Do you want me to stop?”  Astra looked up from Allie’s belly button, noticing that the woman had begun shaking, and it wasn’t nearly cool enough in the room for it to be a chill._

_“I don’t—please, but—what are you doing?”  Allie looked down, meeting eyes with Astra._

_Apparently her question had caused a smile to form, Astra beginning to dance her fingertips along the band of Allie’s underwear._

_“Ah, so this is new for you then?”  It was like the words cranked up Astra’s cockiness, a bi-product of her confidence, to newer levels.  Suddenly, she felt she needed to taste her Alexandra like she had been starved of affection for all of her life._

_Allie looked down, smiling, but still confused.  “Is what new for me?”_

_“This.”  Astra pressed her mouth into Allie’s still clothed center, just applying pressure through her kiss.  She could smell her fluids, hearing the long “ohhh” from above.  Astra nuzzled into Allie’s most sensitive part, pleased when hips pleaded for more pressure--moving up to keep the pressure with her lips._

_“May I?”  Astra asked, full well knowing what the answer was going to be, but still making sure Allie understood she always had an out._

_Trembling hands answered rather than a mouth, moving to remove the last of her clothing, hands then moving to cover her center as she blushed._

_This was something women did together?  They kissed each other’s bodies? Astra moved the hands out of the way, kissing each finger before moving her nose to curly hair, inhaling deeply._

_Up until now, Allie had thought that she had already experienced the pinnacle of exploring her sexuality—having a woman place her hands on her most private, warm areas, and getting to do the same—she realized now, as she felt Astra’s mouth closing in on her clit, that she had been nowhere close to sexual ecstasy.  At least, not nearly as much as she thought she had been._

_Astra’s moans were loud, her enjoyment as she licked Allie softly with up-and-down strokes made clear.  Everything else faded away—time, the dim lights of her bedroom, only hearing the labored breathing of the woman above her, as she reached up to hold two hands, starting to use suction as Allie’s hands went from holding to gripping._

_She wanted to hold Allie at the edge, out of a pure selfishness—mostly because Astra wasn’t ready to stop anytime soon.  She would kiss and lick her Alexandra all night if she thought the woman could take it, but the wetness that gushed at her chin told her that Allie was close, and to hold off her orgasm for selfish reasons would just be cruel._

_But maybe for just a bit longer—_

_“Ohhhh.  Please.”  Allie breathed out, when Astra had moved her tongue for what felt like the hundredth time from her core back up to her swollen, dark red clit._

_No longer.  She had waited to do this long enough._

_As soon as Astra went back to sucking, the grip on her hands went brutally tight, as Allie’s back arched, gasping through more of an orgasm than she ever thought possible. Astra felt her heart well up, so happy to fell Allie back, experiencing pleasure from her efforts._

_“I love you.”  Astra whispered while kissing Allie’s thighs, knowing it was too low for the woman recovering from coming to hear her, also knowing it was too soon for her to hear it, but it had been too long for Astra since she had been able to say it._

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

_1922_

_It wasn’t until after Astra arrived in Poughkeepsie, New York at midnight had she realized her mistake._

_She had intended to tell Allie that she had taken a train in, after she had politely declined for the professor to arrange her transportation, preferring to fly herself up. It was just so much faster, and she had assumed that the trains ran regularly enough that she had a story._

_Until she didn’t._

_Astra meandered through the campus, admiring the castle-like buildings, the quiet of the night during the week—the streets appeared abandoned rather than housing many, with almost every light off for the night, save for the few streetlights that were out, only adding to the magnificence of the stonework that surrounded Astra’s walk to find the science building that was tucked away in the far corner, just as Allie said it would be._

_When she had passed a public announcement board, with papers attached advertising courses, people looking to swap roommates, an advertisement for an event—she noticed the train schedule immediately.  And there were no trains running when Astra had said she was taking one up._

_…Maybe Allie wouldn’t ask.  Or notice._

_The last thing the alien wanted to do was give Allie a bigger lie—not when she was so close to sharing pieces of the truth, not matter how small and shattered they may be._

_She supposed it was a good thing the campus was so quiet, because as Astra approached the building, the one window that had a light still on in one window stood out like an airman in a sailor line, even with the blinds drawn, so any activities inside would be relegated to faceless shadows._

_It was an existence to which Astra had become accustomed to on earth._

_Astra consciously magnified her senses as she walked inside, hoping to catch a sound or scent that confirmed for her that she was indeed approaching the correct building, and that Allie was waiting inside for her—preferably alone._

_After their intimacy last weekend, Allie had seemed torn—too hurried to leave, as far as Astra was concerned, barely agreeing to stay past breakfast, but also looking around longingly as though she couldn’t stand the idea of going back to the outside world.  Astra had intended to give her time to process, as she always did when reuniting with Alexandra, having learned once the hard way what occurred when one was too pushy with the woman._

_But when the dusty candlestick telephone in the corner of the bar rang for the first time since Astra had opened her private club, the joy at finding she was receiving call from Allie, not only wishing to see her, but inviting her over—for research purposes, of course…Astra knew she was flying up the moment it was okay for her to do so._

_Astra paused, hand on the door handle outside of the room with the lamp lit, using her x-ray vision to peer inside.  She was greeted with the visual of Allie Baker, peering intently into a single-chamber Bausch & Lomb microscope intently.  _

_This was Allie in her element, looking pensive and fascinated, letting the wheels in her tremendous mind spin.  Astra wasn’t even sure she was waiting up for their appointment, as the woman looked as though she’d be up all night discovering cells that Kryptonians had known about since before Astra was born._

_Astra kept watching, just for a moment, amazed when she saw Allie prick her own finger, and then grimace as she added a drop of blood to the slide, causing small yet noticeable amounts of purple smoke to emit from the glass panel._

_Just want kind of research was this woman up to?_

* * *

“Alex!  Why are you—”

Astra caught Kara by the arm before she could chase after her sister. 

“Let her go, Kara.” 

“Why would I do that?  Something is very obviously wrong with her!” Kara was still inching towards the door of the bar, even as they spoke. 

“You are going to do that because there are a great deal of things that you do not yet understand, little one.” 

“What? What don’t I understand? Other than this: my sister is going through something and won’t tell me at all what it is!”

“You are so young.  You have no idea yet.” Astra shook her head.  Poor young, naïve Kara probably had no idea how long her own lifespan was expected to be, much less how that was going to affect her interactions with earthlings for centuries to come.

Kara huffed, crossing her arms.  She did want to go after Alex after she froze in conversation and ran out of the bar, seemingly upset enough to stick the Kryptonians with the tab without even realizing.  But it also sounded like she had a better chance of getting information out of her Aunt right at that moment then out of Alex herself. 

“I’m not that young.” 

Astra smiled.  “Kara, do you know how old I am?” 

The young hero knew it was a trick question.  By earth standards, the woman looked thirty, maybe forty if she were a health-conscious person with good genetics.  However, she knew her own mother was hundreds of years old when she had her, which was average by Kryptonian standards, and of course her Aunt and her mother were twins—

“That was not meant to be a mathematics test, young one.  I am over five hundred years old.”  Astra decided to put Kara out of her misery to get to the point. 

“What does that have to do with Alex?”

“A lot, actually.  There are things that I should tell you.” 

Kara stopped inching towards the door, giving Aunt Astra her full attention.  Astra exhaled along, labored breath. 

“We should sit down. And get another round—this might take awhile.” 

Astra thought about the things she was going to have to explain to Kara. Things about her, and Alex, and if she were going to be honest, just _how well_ she knew Alex.

“Maybe this round should be shots.”

* * *

J’onn was at his front door within the first two loud knocks.  It was part of the advantage of both having a small apartment and having Martian speed on his side. 

He opened the door to find Alex’s face, eyes looking puffy, the indicator of a sleep deficiency spanning perhaps weeks. 

“I need your help.” 

J’onn nodded.  It wasn’t lost on him that Alex had never once come to ask him for something in his home.  Nothing—even when Kara was in danger, or when she thought the world was ending, nothing warranted contact beyond a ‘Sir, we need to meet’ phone call.  But now, Alex was here, looking tired and dehydrated and tortured, and he knew he had to help but wasn’t sure how. 

He stepped aside to let Alex in, as she hastily walked over to a couch, taking a seat.  J’onn lowered himself slowly to sit across from the woman he thought of as a daughter, waiting for some indication as to what was going on.

“I need you to use your psychic powers on me.” 

“Alex, _why_ would I do such a thing? You know I spend most of my time trying not to hear into people’s thoughts.  It’s a violation, and--”

“When I was energetically attacked, remember? The Jin Shinku? I wasn’t completely honest about the effects of the hit. It did something to my head.” 

J’onn knew better than to chastise Alex right now for lying.  He had suspected as much, and hoped eventually he would find out what really happened, but for right now he just wanted to know the truth.  Alex closed her eyes for a moment, shaking her head. 

“It implanted false memories into my head.  I want to know if you know a way to get them out.  Or why they’re there.” 

“What kind of memories?  Nightmares? Are you forgetting things?  Did it give you headaches?” 

Alex shook her head again. “I—this is where we get to why I didn’t want to say anything. They’re all memories of Astra.  But different scenarios of me interacting with Astra.  I get flashes of strange situations that I know weren’t memories before I was hit in the field, but they’re very realistic and also not realistic at all.” 

“How realistic do they seem?  Are they implanted PTSD flashbacks?”

“I mean I feel like it happened—like, okay, an example, there’s one where I end up using opium, and Astra’s there trying to stop me.  But if I recall the memory I literally remember what doing opium feels like.”  Alex touched the birthmark on her shoulder, where the memory used the speckled mark as an injury.  The sick alien bastard who messed with her head somehow incorporated her actual body into these memories, which disturbed Alex even more. 

“Could they possibly be leftover feelings from—well, I know you used to…I’m not judging, it was years ago, Alex, but--”

“I used to party, J’onn.  You can say it. And while I did drink my face numb and dance with danger way too many times to count, I never did drugs. I’ve never actually used opium, J’onn!  So why do I know what it feels like?  Why do have I have an internal struggle about a drug that I used _that I never used?_   Do you see what I’m trying to say here?  They’re not all memories like that, but—I don’t know if this thing just messed with my head to mess with me, but they’re all memories of me spending time with Astra that never happened.” 

“Did Astra ever—I mean, could it have been a memory swap?” 

“I don’t think so.  In that example she’s dressed like a pirate.  A dirty one, too.  I can smell how much we both need baths.”  Alex laughed, followed by J’onn. 

They shared a good, hearty laugh at the idea of Astra and Alex as opium addicted pirates, and the part that Alex remembers is the smell of missing twenty-first century showers. 

“Okay. Well, at least they’re not nightmares.  There are a few species who can do that, and it’s nasty to get rid of.”  J’onn was still smiling, even when getting back to business. 

Alex felt her body immediately relax into the couch, understanding why she had such a hard time telling anyone. 

“You believe me?” 

J’onn nodded his confirmation.  “Of course. I think if you were going to show up at my home to make something up, that’s not the image you’d choose to conjure up on a weeknight.” 

Alex laughed some more, feeling the weight being lifted off her body.  He heard her, and believed her—and was going to help. 

“Alex, you are okay with me reading your mind?” 

Alex nodded, before remembering something.  “Wait!” 

“What?” 

“It’s just—some of these memories, you should know—they are a little less than PG rated.  It’s not something I have control over, but…yeah.  If you go in here,” Alex tapped the side of her forehead, “there are going to be some of the fake memories that involve me with Astra, and, well, not a whole lot of clothes.”  Alex turned red at just _how many_ clothing-less memories there were in there, but she really wasn’t getting anywhere with these memories on her own, and if she needed to embarrass to get help, then she was at the point where she was going to get used to being blush-enhanced. 

“Well, I appreciate the warning.  I can look inside, maybe see if I can see where in the neuropathways the memories were implanted.  When something issues a psychic attack, I can usually see where the attachment is.”  Alex nodded, trying to relax, as J’onn’s face went stone-stiff in concentration, using his Martian powers to enter Alex’s mind.

* * *

Kara stormed past everyone at central command, in full Supersuit, face looking super-pissed-off, the cadence of her steps signaling that Supergirl did not wish to be messed with at the moment. 

“Hey!  Supergirl’s—”

“Not now, Winn.”

Kara stormed past the open mouths of everyone who just witness Supergirl blow off her co-worker, Winn looking a tad hurt. 

She kept marching, heavy feet, down a flight of stairs, into a room that she entered with her fingerprints against a glowing glass panel.  As she marched into the room, hitting the power button on the machine harder than necessary.   

“Hello, Kara. I am programmed—”

“I know, Mom.  Cut the introduction.  Is it true that Aunt Astra is over five hundred years old?” 

“Yes.”  The fact that Kara’s Mom always had the same expression, no matter what they were discussing, only served to aggravate the young Kryptonian further.  Her parents could have at least had the decency to program in some emotions, knowing full well that if Kara were using the program, it meant they were dead. 

“Is it true that earthlings reincarnate?  As in Alex, my sister, has lived here before?” 

“Yes, it is true.” 

“Then is it true that since Astra has been here for hundreds of years, and I’ve reincarnated, that she could have known me in a previous life, and I wouldn’t remember?”  Alex’s voice, from behind Kara, was clear as day, shocking the blonde. 

“Alex!” 

“Is it true?”  Alex stepped up towards the program of Kara’s mother.  Apparently, the Danvers sisters had similar ideas, although while Kara looked angry at having been kept so clueless about a very important facet of her own existence, Alex looked—broken. 

The tear stains down her cheeks were apparent, eyes looking puffy that way that showed they were only not actively crying because they were out of fluid to release. 

“Yes.  It is possible for a Kryptonian to live on earth long enough to meet a person as they reincarnate multiple times.” 

“Alex, did Astra tell you too?” 

Alex looked taken aback that Kara heard this information directly from Astra, instead of having to make a fool of herself with J’onn. 

“No, Astra didn’t tell me.  But she should have.”  The venom in Alex’s voice was apparent.  “I thought—where do I even begin.”  Alex shook her head, closing her eyes.  She wanted to tell Kara.  It would make her feel better.  But Alex felt everything she knew about the world being challenged, so long after finding out about aliens and thinking nothing would shock her, and the words were difficult to gather.  Kara put her hand on Alex’s arm, hoping to steady her.

“I went to J’onn.  After the attack, I started having memories—about Astra, as I guess you know.”  Alex gestured towards the Krypton Mom computer.  “I asked him to remove the implanted memories.  Only after J’onn scanned some of them did he realize they weren’t implanted memories.  They’re…well, supposedly, anyway, actual memories that I’m just not supposed to be able to remember.” 

“Wow.”  Kara had to admit, she didn’t one hundred percent believe her Aunt, but now hearing it from the Krypton program that she desperately tried not to call “Mom” out loud anymore, and from Alex… “Just how much did J’onn say?” 

Alex’s eyes snapped up. 

“Enough to know that Astra _should have told me herself_.” 


	8. Chapter 8

_1717_

_Once they were docked, Astra took a shaking, pale faced Alex in her arms, carrying her to the inn they would stay at, ignoring the lingering looks of the crew as they disembarked.  Her strength no longer surprised them—after seeing the Captain sometimes pick up and throw two men overboard at a time on a raid, picking up a thin-limbed Alexandra seemed like nothing. But her strength was not the source of their chatter._

_Of course, they had no idea that Astra could hear their murmurs, as the men clearly thought they were keeping their musings respectfully low._

_“I heard the Captain’s mistress up all night, her stomach expunging until dawn broke.”_

_“She could be with child—we did dock last a mere fortnight before we took the opium ship down, which wasn’t too long ago.”_

_“With child? Have you been in the rum barrels already? That woman has been splitting her time between shooting what used to be our weapons like a man by day and servicing the Captain’s madge in the evening hours. There are no men involved in any of that, I would bet all of my coin purse on it.”_

_“He’s right.  We treat the Captain like a man because she has the strength of one. But that doesn’t mean she can create a child like one, even if those two have had a queer roost for months.  If that were the case, every scalded woman of port the Captain had ever encountered would now be greeting us at port with a miniature Captain-in-training.”_

_Astra tried to block out the banter as she carried Alex, who had indeed spent the night sick, and insisted it was a poor cooking job, and not from missing the sticky, black substance that the Captain knew she had used and become accustomed to in the weeks since she pocketed it from the raid._

_Astra hadn’t wanted, ever, to make demands on Alexandra or tell her what to do.  But she knew that Alex had taken a small amount of the substance with her.  She could smell it a few nights after the injury on the redhead’s breath._

_And then she had started using it every night._

_The Captain cursed herself for not stepping in, but she truly hated seeing Alexandra in pain.   The marks on her shoulder from the blunderbuss hit had started to heal, and then stopped, regressing back into puss-filled tiny holes that hurt Alexandra whenever she wore a shirt, or moved, or breathed.  Once Astra had seen that the injury had stopped healing and reverted to puss, she ordered they move to the closest port, one Astra had docked at many times._

_But that was still a week away, with the winds blowing as they were.  And Alexandra was in more pain than she would ever admit, gritting her teeth at night if Astra accidentally brushed her side._

_So, she let Alexandra use the substance without protest.  Because she could lock Alexandra on a ship once she was healed, far away from the quest for the substance that many succumbed to on land or while Captaining their own ships to stop the want for it, but she couldn’t bear to put Alexandra through physical pain while the sailed towards a doctor.  And it worked._

_Until the small satchel was empty, and she watched Alexandra’s body lash out in protest, calling for the black sticky demon to come back, emptying the contents of the woman’s stomach over and over again in demand._

_“We’re almost in, love.  I know a doctor.”  Astra continued carrying Alexandra into the inn, not bothering to stop at the greeter to formally pay for a room, knowing that nobody at this port would dare stop or question her, knowing she would take a room of her pick, always paying in full upon departure._

* * *

The pacing back and forth morphed into laps around the living room area, expanding into figure-eights around the living room furniture, the dining room furniture, sometimes pausing to gaze out the window, eyes too fuzzy to register any actual sights, just a pause to catch her breath. 

It felt like if she stopped moving, her leg muscles would still twitch out of the need to try to dispel some of the energy overload running through her veins.

“This is what if feels like to be completely insane.”  Alex said out loud to nobody. 

The agent was more than wound-up.  She had energy, confusions, feelings, BIG feelings in so many directions that it was too much for her to process all at once.  She honestly didn’t know what outlet would help, she just knew there wouldn’t be any sleeping anytime soon, as she was too tense to stop moving. 

She might not even be sitting anytime soon.

The memories were becoming intrusive.  She’d think about how she actually felt a tad bit of relief upon finding out her brain wasn’t under an ongoing external attack, but then that led into the embarrassment of J’onn in her mind, seeing her deepest memories, some of them too personal to share under any other circumstances.  Memories so personal she wasn’t sure _she_ should even have access to them, even though she was _in_ them.

And of course, that led to the anger that Astra had carried on with her like nothing had ever happened between them.  How they’d once sailed the entirety of the world together, and yet Astra could show up and fight her like she were any common enemy, to the point where Alex had stabbed her. 

Which led to guilt over it, and more anger at having been put in that position, leading to the anxiety of now working with Astra—who sat across from her in the break room, or on the couch at Kara’s apartment, who sometimes snuck up on her during her morning runs, which now confused Alex even more now that she was thinking about it…

It was too many feelings for Alex Danvers to process.  There was so much swimming around in her head, waiting to purge out that she couldn’t focus on one thing, mull it over, and be done with it.  She felt her muscles tense, teeth grinding, and she felt powerless to stop it.  Grabbing the keys to her motorcycle, she grabbed her work duffel bag and helmet. 

If she couldn’t sit still, she would at least get a workout in.  Or, more likely, seven. Maybe that would relax her muscles, since she couldn’t relax her mind.

* * *

Astra knew that Alex had dragged the Everlast heavy bag into the sparring room in the far back corner of the lower level because that room was the most soundproofed.  What she hadn’t counted on, however, was that the room was soundproofed to human hearing, not Kryptonian.

The General struggled with how to proceed, feeling helpless to make her Alex feel—anything other than what she was feeling.  Any way to provide comfort, any relief from whatever Alexandra was currently experiencing in the other room, which so far was something causing a combination of screaming, punching, yelling, “What the FUCK!” loudly at the ceiling—whatever was going on inside, the woman was seriously upset.  And Astra felt helpless. 

She had felt so helpless with Alex so many, many times.  But now, at least Alex knew it.  She couldn’t keep sitting around being helpless when Alex was challenged.  The tense Kryptonian waited, hand on the door handle, hoping for a moment where either the punching or screaming would stop, giving Alex a chance to get it out. 

It took a long, long time.  Alex had so much pent up to work out, she yelled until she was hoarse and fought the imaginary enemy represented by the body bag until her hands were bruising.  It was stupid, she knew, to bruise herself mid-week, but seeing the colors change on her knuckles provided a sense of relief.  Alex took every uneasy, confused feeling and threw it up in the form of fighting and screaming, until she collapsed on her knees, tears streaming down her face, finally feeling some relief—tired out enough to think clearly. 

It was then, when Astra took in a deep breath, hearing the fighting stop, hearing Alex stop fighting herself, that she turned the knob, letting the door creak so Alex wouldn’t be taken by surprise. 

The agent froze at the sound, but didn’t get up.

The sight before her of Alex, on her knees, back to the door, body looking deflated—Astra couldn’t help herself.  She moved towards Alex slowly, letting her steps make noise on the padded floor, lowering herself behind Alex, who stayed hunched over on her knees. 

Then carefully, very carefully and slowly, she moved a hand to Alex’s back, providing a touch to soothe Alex’s deep breathes.  She exhaled, closing her eyes with the realization that Alex was letting her touch her.  In this lifetime. Astra added a second hand, letting two hands gently rub comfort, feeling Alex’s breath even out.  Astra moved her body closer, until her front was pressed to Alex’s back, moving her arms around the emptied woman, feeling Alex move instinctively to let Astra melt around her body. 

“Alexandra.”  Astra gently exhaled into Alex’s hair, pressing a kiss to a cheek. 

Alex was too tired to think about if she should really let Astra do this right now, when some of the screaming that had just occurred minutes earlier were specifically for her.  But she couldn’t deny that she felt more at home in the embrace then she did anywhere else she could be at the moment.  It felt right—and it calmed the spinning thoughts.  So, Alex leaned back into Astra, hearing the strong woman’s sigh, letting her arms tighten around her.

Astra was very used to Alex needing nothing more than time, with Astra’s arms around her, to wait out a healing.

* * *

_1717_

_Alexandra stayed put on the bed, her pale shaking continuing, even though the Captain could see that she was trying to hide it with every ounce of force she could muster._

_“I need someone to fetch Clarinda.”  Astra’s orders to the two crewmen who had followed them in were clear._

_“Captain!” One man managed to get out through a dropped jaw.  “Is now truly the time for a visit to the brothel?”_

_“That’s not what I want her for!”  The muscular woman snapped.  “That’s not all she does.  Just go get her.  And tell her that it’s pressing, and to bring her bag.”_

_As soon as the men left the room, Alexandra glared at the Captain, speaking through clenched teeth and withdrawal sweats.  “Did you just summon a prostitute?”_

_Astra sat down on the bed, next to the shaking woman.  “I did.  But not for her primary profession.  She is their house physician—access to the old plants and ways of curing.  She can’t make your need for your substance go away completely, that simply takes time.  But it’s time that most men I’ve seen not be able to bear, so I will ask her for something to help you sleep through it.”_

_“How dare you.”  Alexandra ground out, teeth still grinding involuntarily.  “It is a perfectly useful substance.  Any doctor back on the shores of our home would gladly prescribe it to a woman of my stature for nothing more than a headache, and yet you refuse to allow more for what could have been a mortal wound.”  Alexandra made sure to snarl that last bit._

_Her tone had the desired effect, as the guilt on the Captain’s face wore plain as a solid winter coat._

_“No. No! Doctors do allow it.  I am very aware. However, the doctor leaves at the end of the day, and doesn’t see the medicine consume the man alive, until he thinks of nothing but procuring it, nothing else occupies his mind—not work, not love, not responsibility, lying, cheating, stealing, engaging in adultery, arson…I’ve seen men do anything to get another taste, and when they do, when they reach the point of ravish like a starved animal, like a possessed member of Lucifer’s court—Alexandra, they take it until it kills them. I cannot allow it.  We must stop this now, before we get to that point.”_

_“I am IN PAIN!  PAIN THAT YOU ALLOWED!”  Alexandra screaming in the Captain’s face, not allowing the logic to take over her physical need.  “Did you allow that?  Did you allow me to be kidnapped from my home? Oh, you’ll not ‘allow’ it?!  I am not some common crewman!”_

_Astra was very aware that this was the internal demon screaming at her, and not truly her Alexandra.  The woman who had boarded her ship, and then upon being given the choice, chose to stay—on the ship, with the Captain, in her bed, by her side day after day—that woman was being oppressed and most certainly was not the one speaking._

_The knowledge of this didn’t make it hurt any less to hear._

_“I suppose this would be why you asked for me.”  Clarinda’s voice was mesmerizing—an octave lower than most women of the night in this port, but smooth and relaxing, like the first tap on a keg of ale._

_“Please, please tell me you can help. I know you’ve soothed men who have come on shore shaking because they lack their opium stash. Tell me you can do the same for a woman.”_

_“Of course I can.”  Clarinda waited until Astra stood, taking her spot beside Alexandra.  “Some women are not too different from men.  You should know.  You taught me that.”_

_The playfulness in her voice, directed at Astra, only further served to enrage Alexandra.  “You called a whore.  YOUR whore.  How. Dare. You.”_

_“Tsk. Tsk.”  Clarinda scolded.  “So presumptuous.”_

_Alexandra slanted her eyes at the woman, not liking what she saw one bit._

_Dark hair, dark features—most certainly one of the Caribbean locals.  But light, piercing blue eyes.  Most certainly not of the locals.  The combination took her breath away—the woman truly was beautiful, with a silky voice to match.  Her multi-color, elaborate dress denoted her as a woman with access to money, but the length of it, or lack thereof, spoke of how she accessed such funding._

_And, at the moment, Alexandra was painfully aware of how repulsive she must be, after spending the night vomiting, and the morning sweating and shaking. Of course the Captain’s first port of call was to someone who was beautiful like she used to be, before spending months at sea!  The pale redhead stealthily inhaled her own scent, moving her nose to her shoulder._

_Disgusting._

_Clarinda and Captain Astra were talking in low voices, with Clarinda taking our packets from her side bag: a poultice, a bag of herbs, and what looked like a bundle of pre-rolled cigars, and then a second bundle of cigars, followed by a third._

_“How much?”  Astra retrieved her coin purse from deep within her overshirt._

_“Fifty will cover this, and if you end up needing another batch.  But probably not.  She’s not so far gone that she needs to visit one of my girls as a distraction.”  Clarinda turned and winked in Alexandra’s direction, somehow having the power to up the redhead’s embarrassment at her smell and appearance even further._

_“Thank you.  Really, truly, thank you, Clarinda.  I didn’t know what else to do.”_

_“It’s no trouble.  My time will more than be made up for since I will assume your crew is staying the night.”  Clarinda reach over, giving Astra’s arm a squeeze, before leaving the room without so much as acknowledging Alexandra’s presence._

_Astra grabbed a cloth from the bedside, and began patting down Alexandra’s forehead.  “She said it’s going to be all right.  You’re not in the worst withdrawal she’s seen.  She said to start with the first bundle of cigars wrapped here in the blue rag, smoking occasionally, while sprinkling your food with the herbs for the next few days. Then we can transition to the regular cigars once you feel better.”_

_Alexandra looked at the earnestness of Astra’s face—the deep, deep desire to alleviate her suffering, even though at the moment she didn’t believe it was possible.  She barely heard anything the Captain had just said._

_“Captain.  First.  Please?” It was the softest the suffering woman’s voice had been in days._

_“What it is, Alexandra?”_

_“Is it true that these rooms in port—that they have baths?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always--thanks for stopping in! :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So happy I actually had time to sit down and finish this chapter! Writing in broad daylight like a sane person, instead of the insomnia night gremlin that sometimes happens! Fun, fun, fun!

_1922_

_Astra sat bewildered, completely unnerved by Allie’s experiment items before her._

_A rock, which the barkeep didn’t need to turn off the lights to know it glowed in the dark with bright shimmers that mimicked the night sky itself, the container of purple dust (which explained why adding blood caused smoke on the slide), a disk that fit on the side of a ship like a seal with familiar markings, an iron-like spike that had to have come off of a building or some type of large build technology, an array of coins that were meal tokens, not currency as Allie had assumed when she explained each piece of material._

_Each piece of Kryptonian material, that is.   Every item that Allie had was Kryptonian, and because of their individual mineral compositions they either affected human physiology, were affected by human DNA such as blood, or, in the instance of the coins, just fascinated the young professor.  It shouldn’t have surprised Astra, as Krypton had been visiting and monitoring earth since long before she joined the military, and it was only logical that some materials would occasionally be left behind. But it did surprise her, a feeling hidden behind her stoic face._

_“The problem is that I’m having trouble dating and placing them properly, particularly the coins.”  Astra nodded, mouth having sealed shut in surprise as soon as Allie had started pulling things out. The items were indeed old, as once Kryptonians realized that the items interacted with earthling DNA, they stopped using them on trips to earth. Allie adjusted her glasses, getting seemingly more and more excited at the prospect of having someone to listen to her ramblings._

_“I can’t nail down a timeframe until I can figure out what civilization these are from. I picked these up together in a market while travelling across Siberia.  They have been a mystery to me ever since.”_

_“Mmm.”  Astra nodded, surprised at the direction the conversation had taken.  She fully expected to be poked and prodded, not held to a museum outing.  “And what do you presume these have to do with me?”_

_“You have healing powers.  There are only a handful of civilizations that have stories describing those who have instant healing, or who cannot be harmed at all.  If you are a descendant of such a civilization, maybe you would have a reaction to these items differently that I do.”_

_Astra smirked.  “Well, I call that interesting indeed.”_

_“I call it ‘shot in the dark research’ because I’m only thirty-three and already have tenure, so naturally I’m bored out of my mind. But I think you and I can maybe put our minds together?”  Allie smiled, appreciating that Astra smiled back, instead of laughing at her like her colleagues would. “I just know that there are still people on the earth from those civilizations.  There has to be.  And it’s too convenient that there are unidentified objects, such as these, and missing lines of people.  It’s tangential at best, but I know there’s something worth looking into.”_

_Astra decided that her brain was overloaded at the moment, and wasn’t going to begin the internal “how much can I safely tell Alexandra” monologue.  The woman took a peek around the room to make sure that the blinds were all closed._

_Indeed, not a soul could peek in from outside._

_“I think you could stand to loosen up a little, researcher.”_

_Allie’s face fell._

_“What do you mean?”_

_Astra sighed.  If Allie thought she was a descendant of some long-lost ancient civilization, which is why her DNA was different, she wasn’t technically wrong.  The poor earthling just had no idea that it was a civilization from another planet._

_Still, Astra would take what she could get._

_“I mean, you are sliding these items under microscopes, and poking and prodding, when you could be having fun.”  Astra took the large rock that she knew was heavy to Alex, but nothing for her to pick up, and moved it to the center of the exam table.  She then moved to turn off each lamp in the room, returning to the rock in the dark._

_“Astra, what are you—oh.”_

_Astra picked up the rock, shaking it so that the night stars inside would activate, projecting a star map onto the sky._

_“See? Isn’t this better than a magnifying glass?” Astra couldn’t help but smile.  It had been a long time since she’d looked at a star map, but here it was._

_“Are those—Astra, those are real star formations! That’s Orion’s belt!”_

_The Kryptonian didn’t know what Allie was talking about.  Clearly the earthlings had their own names for star formations. It didn’t matter.  She was taking a risk here, so the more she could distract Allie with dazzle, the better._

_“You are correct, I do come from a long line of people who are a little different from your regular genetic make-up.” Allie kept her gaze up at the stars on the ceiling and walls, the whole room becoming illuminated._

_“You must have been sailors!  A line of seamen!”_

_Astra was taken aback._

_Did Allie know something about their pirate days that were long gone?_

_“You must have been.  Who else would need to navigate by the stars like this?”_

_Astra let out a breath.  “Yes.  Exactly.”_

_That was close._

_Allie didn’t need to know these were mounted on space ships for navigation training, so that pilots had routes memorized before they ever left Krypton.  If one memorized the outlay of the universe, one could never get lost._

_“This is magnificent!  You must tell me more.”  The redhead’s eyes sparked behind her round, dark glasses, face lighting up underneath the artificial stars._

_Astra couldn’t help herself any longer, leaning in, bringing her lips to Allie’s, feeling no hesitation as arms wrapped around her mid-section, staying pressed together in the most contact they’d had since their night together._

* * *

Alex was back to pacing, the relief of the pounding session an hour earlier being overpowered by the presence of Astra in her living room. 

Astra had been polite of course, offering to have them talk, as much or as little as Alex wanted, in a neutral setting like the park, or even a bar.  But the idea of talking about these memories in public felt—uncomfortable, to say the least.  So, she invited Astra to come home with her to talk instead, very aware that it was now two o’clock in the morning.  Astra, not wanting to be presumptuous, stayed standing, unsure if they were going to the couch, or the dining room. 

Her eyes scanned around the apartment.  Everything was so…Alex.  The color scheme, the studio layout with the bed on the riser—it echoed Alex’s tastes from her last lifetime, the room very much mimicking the set up of Alex’s living quarters at Vassar college ninety years earlier.  Even the sleek metallic designs in the kitchen were things that Alex would pick, she was sure of it.

She wondered briefly if Alex remembered such a mundane detail—or how much Alex remembered specifically.  Yet she was too afraid to ask, lest she upset Alex more before the woman had time to finish processing. 

“So—all of these memories are true.  The things that I remember about you, about us.  These are all things that happened.”  Alex said, stopping to let her hands grip the back of the couch. 

“Yes.”  Astra nodded, pausing to let Alex control the direction of the dialogue. 

“You left your people for me.  Back when we first met—you refused to finish your mission and go back to Krypton.” 

Astra paused. She wasn’t expecting Alex to go so far back so quickly.  It was a memory that Astra had hardly recalled herself these days. 

“Yes I did.” 

“Huh.”  Alex resumed her pacing.  Now that the information was confirmed, Alex knew less what to do with it in her head.

Astra had been sent to earth to create a catalog of earth weapons, technologies, likelihood that if aliens began visiting that there would be a war.  At the time, Astra learned quite quickly that the earth was a primitive planet, with hardly any weaponry to consider worthy of noting.  She should have been back on a ship to Krypton after a couple of weeks, a month max. 

Krypton had sent a recovery ship to look for her after three months of no contact. 

“You didn’t know that Krypton wasn’t going to last forever back then, I’m guessing.”  Astra couldn’t tell if Alex was asking a question, or merely processing aloud. 

“No.  I didn’t.  But that doesn’t mean it would have changed my decision to stay on earth.”  The “with you” didn’t need to be said, Astra’s eyes filling in the holes left by her words.  “Although, I probably would have made an effort to visit more before my sister became pregnant, instead of waiting until there was a family imperative to be back.” 

Alex closed her eyes for a moment.  She had so many different memories that bubbled up randomly, that she had a hard time deciphering what came before what, unless there were obviously period signifiers in dress or setting. But some memories she wasn’t sure of. 

She wondered if her life before the memories came back had simply been her walking about in a coma, and now she had to try to remember her whole self. 

Astra watched the internal struggle, accepting that they would be up for the rest of the night, and most likely calling out tomorrow to recover.  She ruffled her own hair, exhaling in preparation, before taking a seat on the couch. 

“I will tell you anything that you want to know, Alex.  No more secrets.” 

Alex nodded, but still didn’t speak.  Because what she wanted to know more than anything, anything at all, was a way to confirm that it was true. 

Sure, J’onn had said they were real memories.  And Astra agreed, these were all things that happened.  Hell, even the Alura program confirmed that it was at the very least possible, and that software wasn’t programed to lie. 

And the memories of Astra were good, for the most part.  She had swirls in her mind of someone who surfaced as kind, and caring, and who understood Alex, and never judged her…she wanted it to be true.  To have someone who really understood her. 

But it was hard to reconcile the memories with the woman physically in front of her, who just a short time ago in this life was an enemy. 

“Why don’t we start here.  Alex, when you first woke up from being hit, you called me Captain.  How much do you remember about that timeline?” 

Alex couldn’t help but smile at that one.  It was one of her very favorite Astra types.  She had to admit—even when she thought she was being mind attacked, there was no point when Alex did not have a thing for pirate Astra. 

“You loved me.”  She started with. 

Astra was relieved that she didn’t sound upset or disgusted at the statement, but genuinely smiled.  It was easy then for Astra to slip into her old pirate accent. 

“That part isn’t past tense, love.” 

* * *

_1717_

_“That is perrrrrfect.”  Alexandra smiled, relaxing back into the cool bath water against Astra._

_Truthfully, it was their second bath, the first of hot water to wash off the grime of life at sea, this second of cool water for relaxing. Astra had used a remedy from Clarinda then on the injury, gently using her fingers to apply to each wound, being careful just to dab with the gelatinous herbal concoction and not rub._

_Alexandra still felt her skin crawl in withdrawal, but she felt worlds better than an hour earlier. The Captain blew on the injury to let the salve set, moving the redhead to make sure the shoulder stayed above the water of the second bath. Relaxing against Astra, who had so graciously agreed to bathe with her, even after Alexandra had been a verbal monster.  What relief the woman had felt from the water began to be outweighed by guilt._

_“Captain.”  Alexandra said, keeping her back to Astra’s front, allowing strong arms to wrap around her._

_“Mmm.”  Came the answer, peppering her shoulder with kisses._

_“I do love you. Even when my words are overcome by a need that I know I shouldn’t have in the first place.  But I do---”_

_“Shhh.”  Astra hushed Alexandra. “I know, love.  I know it. Always.”_

_The Captain emphasized her point by letting her hands roam over her mate’s warm body, staking claim to a porcelain neck with her teeth.  The little moans that had begun coming from Alexandra’s lips only encouraged the boldness of her hands, making long, firm strokes from bosom to thighs, touching wherever she pleased._

_Palms massaged handfuls of breasts, causing a moan that the Captain was sure reverberated through the entire floor, also not caring.  It was probably nothing the crew hadn’t heard before, so she continued kneading, gently pinching, thoroughly enjoying herself and the reaction her hands caused._

_It didn’t take long for Alexandra to begin arching her back, eyes closed, just letting her feel Astra’s hands without her sight getting in the way._

_“I want you.”  The words were soft but unmistakable, signaling to the Captain that it was time to move things along, to allow hands to wander to further, stickier places._

_Astra did not disappoint, as she used one hand to part two very swollen lips, using the other to stroke up and down the center that was indeed more than ready for her. It had been a long time._

_“Does this please you?”  Astra’s hands moved inside of Alexandra, two fingers curling upwards towards her front wall._

_“Yes.”  The answer was barely squeaked out, hands gripping the sides of the basin._

_“Does it please you to know that feeling the wetness you produce causes me to produce my own? That as I touch you, I too am dripping for you, Alexandra?”_

_“Ohhhh.”  The redhead moaned lewdly.  She loved when Astra talked to her with her filthy pirate mouth when then engaged in passion._

_Astra moved two fingers in a steady rhythm, stroking in curls, rewarding her Alexandra for being so strong while in such pain. When a palm was added to the mix, grinding down against a stiffened nub, Alexandra’s body stiffened._

_“Yes!  Yes, please.  Astra!”  This shout was certainly loud enough for all in the inn to hear, and this only further pleased the Captain, who doubled her efforts, pumping and grinding as Alexandra threw her head back on the Captain’s shoulder._

_“Please. So close.”  She panted._

_“Then unravel for me, Alexandra. Spread your legs further.”_

_The woman complied, and Astra began moving her hand faster than she though possible by any living human, showing no signs of tiring.  She pumped, water splashing about, as Alexandra moaned and moaned until reaching her peak—the point where she moved into silence, body stiff, eyes shut, as waves crashed through her body._

_Astra let her recover, the water keeping their now overheated bodies still cool, even in the air of the humid Caribbean.  She layered kisses over kisses, all over Alexandra’s cheek, behind her ear, back down to her healing should but avoiding the injury, letting her lover get her hearing and sight back organically, in no hurry to move, closing her own eyes, enjoying the after-feeling as much as Alexandra._

_She was snapped out of her haze when she felt a wandering hand starting to caress her own muscular thigh.  The Captain swiftly moved to capture the hand before Alexandra moved her arm around the wrong way.  She might have felt the pain-relieving release of their activities in the moment, but one wrong movement would remind the first mate that she was indeed still injured._

_“You don’t need to worry about me right now, love.”_

_“But what--”_

_“No ‘buts’.  I’m not going anywhere, and you’ll be better soon.  Why don’t we try one of the cigars, hmm?”_

_Alexandra eyed the first bundle on the table next to them, squinting her eyes at the memory of who had brought them in the first place.  Still, she did have to admit that the salve was making her feel better.  If she were being honest, she felt better right now than she had in ages._

_“Alright.  Let’s light one.”  Alexandra moved so that Astra could dry her hands, hanging over the side of the basin, before picking up a cigar._

_The Captain hadn’t examined them before, but noticed these most certainly were not completely tobacco, but only half brown, the inside mixed with some sort of green herb.  Still, if it was a healing herb, it was good for them, so Astra lit the bundle, inhaling first before passing it to Alexandra.  The two settled back into the tub, keeping the lit cigar above the water, taking turns passing the sweet-yet-pungent bundle of leaves back and forth._


	10. Chapter 10

_1717_

_“Alright.  I can handle one more.”_

_The statement caused the Captain to smile wide, as she continued to soothingly rub her lover’s back while they ate.  She hadn’t seen Alexandra keep down food for days—not since the withdrawal had started, her stomach aboard the ship turning at the slightest introduction of food in protest of the lack of substance._

_Now, after Clarinda’s remedies, she was voluntarily starting a second bowl of local delicacies, a rice, fish, and vegetable mixture with spices that Alexandra had never experienced in Europe and until that moment, wondered how she had been eating food so bland up until this point._

_“Have as much as you’d like, love.  You have some catching up to do when it comes to suppers.”  Astra started on a second bowl as well.  The cigars must have been some kind of appetite inducing herb, as she was famished as well, beyond what was normal for mid-day.  The Captain would have to see about keeping some of this miracle herb on board, as it would probably help with most common illnesses.  She would have to provide extra water in the supply, however, because the medicine did give her awful cotton mouth, but the relaxation was worth it._

_The crew, of course, had been waiting for a port stop since their last raid to spend their share of the booty; Alexandra had made a good call on her choice of ship, even if it did result in an injury.  Most men were already drunk, and had the jewels and coins to assure they could be for a good long while, perhaps through most of the storm season if they chose to stay docked._

_As much as being docked signaled safety, there was always the threat of crewmen blowing all of their loot early, gambling or drinking too much too quickly.  Then there was always the possibility that they’d just jump crew if another band were sailing out before the current crew were ready to go back out at sea.  Although that never happened directly with her crew, Astra was well aware it was a possibility and happened to other Captains’ crews all the time.  Especially given that Astra generally waited in port as long as possible, until they were all out of money save what they needed for a few months of supplies._

_“I love the rum at this port!”  Alexandra exclaimed loudly.  “It’s so much better than the garbage we keep on the ship.  It must be light colored barrels they use.”_

_Astra didn’t want to volunteer that the rum on the ship was terrible because she had it watered down before it was corked and brought on board.  She couldn’t afford to ever have a fully drunk crew; the grandiosity of the ship, which she took very good care of, had many challengers, looking to raid them as much as they sought to raid others.  Further, word had gotten out quick that this was one of few ships regularly sailing that had a sail repair master, an experienced carpenter who had defected from the navy, as well as an actual cook, not some green teenager who was stuck behind a pot from being injured in battle, but an honest cook who made sure the ship had dried seasonings and more than just hard tac with a poor man’s soup._

_Naturally, the Captain wasn’t going to let this set-up be squandered on account of a crew of drunkards, so they were allowed to drink all they wanted—and they would still only get a light buzz that would take the edge off being at sea._

_It was a good set up. Astra had spent years building the perfect crew, keeping the ship in top shape, learning the sailing seasons of each crown, when they would hit the biggest ship they could reasonably take, each crew having hand-to-hand boxing skills in addition to having their weapons.  They only needed to hit three to four ships a year to keep the lifestyle to which they’d become accustomed._

_The Captain was aware that she needed to make sure Alexandra was good and weened off the opium before they ever went back onto the sea.  She wasn’t going to let their lifestyle be compromised by a leashed pirate; one who was attached to chasing the high made poor, rash decisions.   The “cigars” seemed to be a welcome distraction while giving Alexandra an opportunity to put her weight back on._

_Luckily, this particular port was a rare beauty in an otherwise unforgiving, rough sea.  The taverns were smart enough to have open-air outdoor tables, not just to attract customers, but to allow for the evening breeze.  The tavern-keepers were no fopdoodles; the set-up meant the patrons drank more and for longer stretches.  The Captain swore there was a fountain outside near the drunkards just so they’d have free entertainment when a crewman inevitably drunkenly stumbled into the small pool, essentially earning the entire patronage another round._

_Astra scanned the room, making sure they crew stuck to just liquor, ensuring they did not end up in Alexandra’s state.  It wasn’t just the Captain’s rule, it was a rule they had all collectively agreed upon and voted on in order to keep their wits._

_Until a voice in the room had Astra’s ears perk up.  Alexandra knew she had super-strength, and couldn’t be harmed, but Astra doubted she knew exactly the extent of her abilities, which included being able to hear every conversation in the room._

_And beyond the rumblings of drink orders, men loudly inquiring about prostitutes, dice and card games at random tables, one drunk man claiming he could swim better than any shark and started undressing, intending to go down to the ocean and prove it, Astra heard a familiar voice that she would never not be one-hundred percent sure of._

_“I am looking for my wife.”  The statement made her eyes go wide._

_“Non.”  She said aloud, barely registering at all to the rest of the table._

_Captain Astra’s eyes began scanning the room frantically.  She knew she would have to find him before he found her, as now there was someone on the planet who matched her strength, and that was no good._

_No good at all._

* * *

The long pauses between questions were testing every fiber of patience in Astra’s being, determined not to rush Alex as she processed multiple lifetimes of truth at once. 

She knew it was a lot to handle.  She had hundreds of years to experience each of these realities, adjust to them, expect more, but Alex was hit with everything all at once, not knowing what happened or when. 

The more Astra thought about it, the more impressed she was that Alex had managed to continue showing up to work and carrying on like nothing was out of sorts. She should not only be promoted to general as well, but given an academy award.  However, she had so many, many things she did want to ask Alex, now that the woman was aware not only of Astra’s true existence as a Kryptonian, but also an awareness of reincarnation and all of her past lives.

The questions were never mundane.  Alex was always very direct—never one for fluff.  When she spoke, it had a purpose, because she was driven by action. 

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“Tell you what, Alexandra?” 

The old name made Alex smile, breaking eye contact to blush into her Irish coffee.  At some point even Alex Danvers had to switch to caffeine. 

“You never told me you were Kryptonian.  Ugh.  It’s so obvious now that I know looking back.  Your super strength.  Super skin that can’t be pierced.  Super hearing.  How did I not know? And how did I not know you’d met me before? You were way too smooth too fast.” 

Astra paused.  The whole like sounded a lot like Alex blaming herself for not catching on sooner, rather than truly asking Astra. 

“I would have sounded crazy.  Honestly, at any point, would you have believed me?” 

“Well, you never took me flying.  I think that would have really sealed the deal if you did.” 

Astra’s laugh started as a bubble in the back of her throat, moving onto a full roar, followed by Alex’s lighter laughter.  They both needed it with the long night of talking they were both aware they were only scratching the surface of. 

“Can I tell you something?” Astra waited politely for a nod, knowing that would be the response.  “I was starting to drop hints during your last life.  A lot.  I thought you were so close, that if you found out on your own you’d be less likely to lose your mind, or think that I’d lost mine.” 

“Drop hints! Ha!”  Alex’s eyes lit up as she laughed at the response.  “You were throwing me off you trail!  I was a good scientist, not a magician.  Even I can’t arrive at a conclusion with bunk information. Hints. Pft.” Alex shook her head. 

“I told you some truths! And I did take you flying…for a second.  I’ll just leave it at that and see if it jogs your memory.”  Astra gazed at Alex, as they both seemed to realize that even though they left space between their bodies, the space between them had shrunk considerably over the last couple of hours.  They were close enough for Astra to easily take Alex’s hand with her own.  The agent’s eye widened considerably, but she didn’t pull away. 

Astra took it as a step forward.  “It was hard, every time.  It was hard meeting you over and over again, yet each time you truly had no idea who I was, as much as I wished you could.” 

“I know.”  Alex said, squeezing the hand in her own.  “But…I’m still so confused about so many things.” 

“Go on.  We have all the time in the world.”  Astra’s grin was met with another, slimmer-lipped grin mirroring back, hands still against each other, resting comfortably more than holding. Alex was letting her touch her hand; she wasn’t going to push her luck further without invitation, but oh she most certainly would enjoy the contact while it was allowed. 

The alien’s hand, always warm, ran fingers around Alex’s knuckles.

“Why did you let us become enemies in this life?”  The look on Alex’s face showed a pain that Astra didn’t think was possible. 

Of course, it would hurt Alex now.  Because the memories were back Astra wasn’t just a former enemy; now she was a lover who came into this life like a bull in a china shop, wrecking any chance they had together from the beginning, and this particular twist of fate not occurred. 

Astra looked down, knowing her words would barely count as a band-aid for what Alex must be experiencing right now.  The look she carried said it all: Betrayal. 

“Alex, I know we were on opposite sides of that battle, but believe me, it is because I am on your side for the long game.”

“How?  How is attempting to mind control my entire planet being on my side?” Alex was really getting too tired to put the _oompf_ behind how she truly felt about that, hoping her tone would be enough to convey her feelings.

“Alex, I truly believed that earth was, and possibly is to a certain extent, on a path of self-destruction.  No more earth, no more Alex lives, no more us.  So yes, I would absolutely sacrifice one of your lives with us together to guarantee this planet would exist for many more of them.  I have watched you die four times Alexandra, each time having the patience to wait for you to come back.” Astra’s voice only choked slightly.  “The only thing that made it bearable each time was knowing you’d come back; that I could possibly see you again.  That it wasn’t an end, that it was a separation.  I could wait a little longer if it meant making sure we’d still have another chance. So, yes, I made the choice that we would skip one lifetime together if it meant there could be more.” 

Astra spoke with the authority that showed Alex exactly how one became a General, a highly respected Captain—she spoke truth in a way that made it universal. 

“Oh.”  Alex answered, knowing it was inadequate, but she was going to have to let that bold statement from the Kryptonian ruminate through her mind for a little while before she had a true response. 

And if she were being honest, trying to rectify the memory of old Astras from her past with the current Astra who very much was her enemy not too long ago was creating more of a headache than she cared to vocalize. 

“I don’t remember everything—I mean, it’s not like I can recall continuous timelines.  Just bits here and there that I have to piece together like little jigsaw puzzles.  So talking to you helps, but if it’s too much--”

“It’s not too much.” 

Astra wanted to pour her heart out much, much more.  But she didn’t want to assume that Alex would automatically just resume loving her now that she knew pieces of the past.  It wouldn’t be fair to Alex.  She was just glad Alex finally knew everything.  But, she also wasn’t going to sit here and pretend there was nothing.  Not while Alex continued to allow the lingering contact in the neutral middle of the couch. 

“We could try—more talks like this.  I know it must be confusing.  The pieces, I mean.  Not knowing what goes with what.  Maybe we could spend some time together? If you’d like.  Or something like that.” 

Alex’s smile only continued to grow as Astra stuttered.  But part of her needed to hold back—Alex wondered if there would always be that one percent of her that couldn’t believe that these memories were real, that they could be yanked away at any moment. 

So, she made a decision.  They could be friends.  At least that much, for now.  After all, the woman did put up with quite a lot of her over the years. 

“We can hang out.  For sure.” 

It was at least a start, while she sorted through all this… _Astra_ in her headspace.

 


	11. Chapter 11

_1922_

_The door handle shaking and the knocking that followed shouldn’t have been such a surprise._

_“Who’s in there? Dr. Baker?”_

_“Shit!”  Was Allie’s response, jumping out of Astra’s arms at the abrupt intrusion, running over to the space rock, attempting to pick it up to shake it, but the item was indeed the heaviest of the bunch.  “How do you turn this off?”_

_“Allie, I can hear you in there!  What on earth are you doing working so late? And why is the door locked?!”_

_“Just cleaning up, Dean Fouinuer!”  Allie turned back to Astra, who had kindly turned a light back on.  “Help me!”  Astra walked over, shaking the rock in the correct manner to deactivate the map.  Allie didn’t even bother cleaning up the items spread out on the lab table.  The Dean, while not fond of her extracurricular research tendencies, most likely wouldn’t reprimand her for it._

_But she most certainly would issue a reprimand for having an unauthorized visitor over so late at night.  Especially with the rumors that have already started to spread about Allie, and her friends there, and whether or not they should be trusted to teach young women. Allie was aware that somehow, someone on the faculty became aware that some staff members had a habit of visiting a particular neighborhood in the city on weekends. Not that the accusations surprised Allie or her bar-hopping comrades, since they were true._

_“What are you--” Allie started pushing the large Kryptonian over to the walk-in storage cabinet._

_“Shhh.” Allie hushed her.  “No visitors on weeknights.  You were never here.”_

_And with that, Astra was shoved into the storage closet, with the most foul-smelling chemical concoctions to which she had ever been exposed, making the Kryptonian deeply regret her heightened senses. She immediately covered her nose with both hands, squatting down to peek through the keyhole in time to see Allie letting the Dean in the room._

_“Dr. Baker—” The dean paused, eyeing the objects on the table, before moving to pinch the bridge of her nose.  “Back to your trinkets, I see.” The condescending tone was apparent to Astra.  And judging from the way Allie’s cheeks tinged with the pink of embarrassment, it didn’t go over the young professor’s head, either._

_“I’m really close this time. Close to a breakthrough.  I’ve enlisted some help, and I think I can date the items, and then work on figuring out why they reaction to contact with human tissue.”_

_“We’ve discussed this, professor.”  The annoyance in the woman’s voice clear._

_Astra watched Allie’s shoulders deflate through the keyhole, hands fisting to control herself.  She didn’t know what this woman’s relationship was to her Allie, but clearly she had the ability to affect the woman._

_“I know, but I’m really close…I’m sorry but I can’t just let this go!  You’ve seen how the materials react!”_

_Dean Fouinuer pulled out a stool, giving herself a seat.  The Dean had a strong background in biology, and historically had always fought for Professor Baker—in her hiring process, giving her tenure at a young age after a stellar first publication, giving her sabbatical time early…_

_But after Allie’s obsession with this new project that has gone on for a year without turning into something publishable, combined with knowledge spreading that she spent her weekends with a group of known lesbians running around the city as an unmarried woman—there was only so much the dean would be able to combat._

_“Al, you’ve got to give me something.  Tenure isn’t a one-hundred percent lifetime guarantee without ongoing scholarship.  So far you’ve turned up nothing but parlor tricks. Nothing that you can substantiate or root in actual scholarship. And then there’s the rumors…”_

_“Who cares about the rumors! I do my job--”_

_“Some of your job.”  Astra watched, holding her breath, as Allie sat across from the dean.  “You’ve got to give me something, Allie.  I can’t keep re-instating you year after year without so much as a published article.  Not with you unmarried at a women’s college.  I need you to either prove your stellar position as a scholar, and if you’re going to continue not producing something, I can only bide your time if you give me something to quell the gossips. I can’t have an unproductive lesbian.  It’s too much of a liability.” The dean started running her hands through her hair, pacing as she continued her lecture.  “Girls will start talking, parents will think that we’re not really grooming their brightest to be able to be wives, and even with your popularity amongst the students we will see a drop in enrollment--”_

_“I keep my personal life personal, Dean Fouinuer, and I always have.”  Allie was very aware how this was less true with Astra hiding in the closet._

_Ironically._

_“I know you do Allie.  That’s why I’m leaving it up to you. Your colleagues think you’ve gone batty—honestly, you haven’t shown anything scholarly since before your last sabbatical. I can’t combat accusations of you being both past your academic prime and the discussion around sexuality at the same time. It’s one or the other. Look.  You’re not the first woman who’s had certain proclivities, and I always protect my staff. But if you want to keep working here, you need to give me something to work with. I don’t particularly like it, but that’s the reality of the situation, Allie.”  The dean patted Allie on the hand, giving it a little squeeze of reassurance, even though the young academic couldn’t meet the dean’s eyes._

_The young professor knew what it meant.  This year, she either had to produce proof she had indeed been onto something worth academic attention, or she had to produce a fiancé.  Something to please the board, or she very well could end up asking Astra if she had any openings for a new bartender._

_Astra stayed put even after the dean left, letting Allie gather her thoughts, knowing she would open the closet door and come out when it was safe to do so._

_The professor waited until she heard the main door entrance to the building open and shut, signaling that the dean had left the building, before she went over to the supply cabinet._

_“Allie--”_

_“Shhh.  Don’t.  Just not right now.”  Allie pulled Astra out, stepping into an embrace, on that the alien immediately returned, wrapper her arms around Allie’s full body, pulling her close.  Astra held the woman silently, thinking about how she wasn’t the only one worried about being found out, in so many ways._

* * *

Alex didn’t know why she felt so wrong about feeling giddy. 

Maybe she wasn’t used to giving herself the space to feel happy.  Or maybe she wasn’t used to random smiles popping up.  But she couldn’t stop herself from smiling, laughing, giggling…all from her memories that kept popping up of Astra, and all before she even left the house in the morning.  The woman who she was keeping as just a friend—for now at least, Alex told herself, had an ability to bring a smile to the agent’s face at just the image of her in hear mind.

It was the true realization that there was someone who loved her, a gorgeous, bright someone, who spent lifetime after lifetime chasing after her. 

Alex smiled to herself in the shower, letting the hot water massage her scalp longer than necessary as she got lost in the feeling. 

“She doesn’t just like me. She loves me.”  Alex stopped herself from giggling, unsure why she felt embarrassed with nobody around to witness her routine. 

She faced herself in the mirror to dry her hair, the grin breaking out on her face again. 

“Stop it.”  She wagged a finger at her own reflection.  “Get it together.”  She grabbed a blow dryer and brush, deciding to go with a straightened look today.  Until she was grinning again. 

She turned off the blow dryer.  “Knock it off.  You have to see her today.” 

She laughed even more at her attempt to keep a straight face. 

“Astra.”  _Astra who loves me._

* * *

If there was any of the giddiness left from Alex’s morning routine, nobody at the DEO would be able to tell by the time Alex was in and ready to go, shoving down a Clif Bar with her office coffee, which was terrible coffee, that Alex only drank because it meant saving herself the extra time from having to wait in line during the morning coffee shop rush somewhere else. 

Alex took the extended folder from J’onn’s hand, opening to see her assignment. 

“Great.”  Alex said her slight smile dropping.  “An entire day in the lab.” 

“Something wrong, Agent Danvers?” 

Alex shook her head.  “No.  I just had a lot of energy today.  I was hoping to be out in the field.” 

J’onn eyed her suspiciously.  Usually a day playing with microscopes was a special treat for the scientist—Alex even went so far as to make up experiments a few months back when they weren’t giving her enough lab work to do. 

“Well, if something comes up other than Supergirl’s routine patrol, I’ll have you paged.  But the recovery team brought in the contents of that hostile ship that crashed yesterday after the threat was neutralized.  I figured you’d want to be the first to catalogue and test everything--”

“Yes!  Yes, Sir.  Absolutely.  I don’t know what I was thinking.” 

Alex knew what she was thinking.  She was thinking that Supergirl would be working with her new partner, Astra, and Alex was hoping to get in on that.  But, days like this reminded Alex that she was employed by the DEO with an actual, tangible job, and wasn’t just there to play with the Supers all day unless there was an immediate threat. 

Alex picked up the box from recovery on her way to the lab.  It was heavier than usual.  The crash must not have destroyed as much material as it usually does when a ship proves itself hostile. 

She opened the box, starting to lay out materials on the table.  Nothing impressive.  A mess kit. What looked like a sort of tent but out of solid materials—clearly the aliens planned on camping out for awhile.  Good thing they were caught on their first attempt at a robbery.  Clearly they were prepared to set up shop. 

Alex froze at the next item in the box.  It wasn’t the first time she’d looked at one of these, but it had been over ninety years ago, so she was quite taken aback. 

She immediately took out her cell. 

“J’onn!  Yeah, I picked up the box.  That’s why I’m calling.  It’s…an interesting box.  I need Astra.”

* * *

_1717_

_Astra’s eyes shifted.  She had to figure something out fast._

_“I am looking for my wife.”  She heard again, over the cacophony of rowdy drunks and solicitous prostitutes, over Alexandra’s chewing and the music from inside the tavern.  She heard his voice clear as day over the drinks being poured, over the dancing, over the one fellow vomiting in the back._

_Immediately, Astra felt guilty.  Non._

_She—just left him.  On Krypton.  Without a word.  Of course he’d come looking for her._

_There was a point where he was her best friend in all of the universe.  She shook her head, as she probably destroyed that now, with her selfishness._

_She hadn’t realized that as she tensed, the hand that was rubbing Alexandra’s back was becoming rougher, and erratic along with her thought patterns._

_“If you wanted to give me a massage, you could’ve just said so, Captain.”  Astra smiled at Alexandra’s banter, even though her ears were on high alert._

_A massage._

_It would at least buy her an hour to figure out what she was going to do with Non.  The man she had abandoned, after it had taken them so long to be reunited in the first place—_

_“Not that I was complaining, Captain.  I do like the idea.  Just with less clothes.”_

_“Yes!  Truly a wonderful idea, Alexandra.  A massage would probably help you relax.  A fitting day after your first full meal in so long. I have to agree, it would be the best thing for you…you know, for your physical well-being.  Clarinda!”  Astra shouted, knowing she had about a minute before Non recognized her shout and found the source of it._

_“Astra, WHAT are you doing?”_

_“She’s a professional, Alexandra.  She’ll really help your muscles relax. Consider it my treat.”_

_“Absolutely not.  There’s no way--”_

_“What is it, Captain?”  Clarinda asked, wearing a dress that was somehow more revealing than the one she had on when they first met._

_“Alexandra could use some of your muscle relaxing techniques.  Remember back when I docked that time and John had that neck issue that you rubbed out—”_

_“I most certainly do not need--”_

_“My treat, for Alexandra, she’s had a rough go of her first time out at sea, and I haven’t been such a gracious host, but--”_

_“I need no such thing, I absolutely do not--”_

_“Fantastic! I will take Alexandra inside with me then.  She could use a little loosening up.”  Clarinda winked in such a way that made Alexandra’s jaw drop, her protest forgotten due to the shock of how she was just pawned off on this woman, whom she still thought of as a prostitute, by Astra no less._

_The Kryptonian knew that Alexandra was about to be livid with her, but she truly did not know what Non was about to pull, and since she just disappeared on him when she had decided she wasn’t going back to Krypton without giving him so much as a courtesy call, well, she didn’t know what to expect._

_She knew, however, that she only had to stay put, and hope he didn’t cause a scene when he finally found—_

_“Astra.”  The man said, as he sat down across from the Captain._

_The crew who had been making merry at the Captain’s table, drinking and chattering side-eyed the newcomer, but still made room for him.  Clearly he knew the Captain, and she wasn’t drawing her sword._

_“Non.”  She nodded at him.  The man’s piercing blue eyes shimmered, even in the dim lighting of the evening._

_And then, finally seeing Astra’s face after so long searching, he burst into tears._

* * *

_“It would really help things along if you at least took off your shirt.”_

_“There is no need, Clarinda, really.”_

_Clarinda sighed.  Of course, being a known madam, she faced many men and women who treated her like a leper.  Some sneered at her, others afraid to be left along in a room with her, lest her salacious nature somehow jump bodies and overtake good nature with lust._

_“I am not trying to seduce you, Alexandra.  The Captain was correct.  While you seem to be aware of my primary job, I also know the old medicine, including how to rub out sore muscle knots.”_

_Alexandra side-eyed the woman.  Like hell, she wasn’t seducing her.  The pirate woman knew she was attractive. The red-head might be new to being a pirate, but she was not new to what an attractive woman looked like._

_When she had a husband, Clarinda was exactly the kind of woman who would have occupied her mind, invading her thoughts as she politely conversed with the husband she married for money and status.  If the same proposition were given to her while her husband’s property, oh how she would have taken it._

_But things were different now.  She had freedom.  She had Astra._

_Those were the only two things she would ever need, and she most certainly did not want this woman who seemed too familiar with Astra for her liking touching her naked back.  She continued staring the woman down.  She was stubborn; she could stare her down until Astra came to collect her, probably without blinking._

_Clarinda sighed again.  “I’m not interested in your Captain, if that’s what this is about.  Never was.  Some of the ladies here do like to dip their toes into both pools, but sorry to say I am only interested in the men, no matter how strong that woman is.”_

_Alexandra did relax, and although she tried to keep up her sneer, but the slope of her shoulders and unfurling of her fingers betrayed her._

_“Then how do you know Astra?”_

_Clarinda smiled. “Let’s just say that way back when I was young and much more naive, I once had a customer partake in my primary services, and then try to leave without paying. I followed him outside, shouting at him to get him to pay.  Your Captain was there, and—well, let’s just say that she’s very, very strong, and that makes her very convincing.”_

_Alexandra couldn’t even hold back the smile at that one.  Of course, Astra would be helping the prostitutes instead of buying one._

_“And now?”  The red-head ventured to ask._

_“Now, I know to make the men pay before I provide anything…and now, Astra and I are friends.”_

* * *

“Alex, what’s happened?  Why did you—oh.” 

Alex had already laid out the contents of the box out on the table, and Astra’s eyes already zeroed in on the rock that Alex knew was a star map, but still didn’t know how to activate the darn thing without Astra activating it. 

“Yeah.  Interesting find, isn’t it?”  Alex hoped that Astra also remembered when she had first taught Alex what the rock really was. 

“It’s Kryptonian. Alex, do you remember—”

“I do.”  The corners of the agent’s mouth curled into a smile.  “And I still can’t get it to activate myself.” 

“I think you can.”  Astra returned the smile. 

Truthfully, she was relieved.  When she had been called back from patrolling the city by flight because of something urgent in the lab, she didn’t know what she would be walking into—they hadn’t bothered to give her any details other than she needed to meet with Agent Danvers ASAP. 

Alex turned her attention back to the rock, picking it up.  It was still heavy, but now she was stronger, at least able to lift it without grunting like she used to, back when she was a professor and also had never heard of a push-up. 

She looked down as she gripped it with both hands, attempting to give it a shake, when two larger, Kryptonian hands covered her own, Astra’s front just barely brushing Alex’s back, enjoying the excuse to touch the human, something she found she longed to do at every time of the day. 

“It’s two firm shakes down, like you’re slamming it onto a table, but don’t actually hit the table.  Like this.”  She held Alex’s hand while they shook. 

The way that this map beamed brightly, to the point where she could see an outline of a map even with the lights on, told Astra this was not an ancient artifact, as the last one Allie had found, but a much newer, recently powered one. 

“Thanks.”  Alex said.  If Astra’s imagination was not running wild, she could almost feel Alex pressing back into her, making no move to remove her hands. 

“Alex, what happened? Oh…um…sorry, did I--” Kara immediately backtracked, forgetting that her Aunt and her sister had a whole romantic back history that she didn’t know very much of the specifics of, but was now seeing right in front of her eyes. 

Astra jumped back.  “Kara!  We’re fine, we’re just looking at a map from Krypton.  See?”  Astra went over to the wall, shutting off the lights, the room illuminating the map. 

“Wow! Wow.  I—I haven’t seen one of these since I first started school on Krypton and we were learning the stars.”  Kara looked up in awe. 

Alex was using the distraction to collect herself.  Every hair was on end from Astra’s touch, her body screaming out to touch more.  She needed to reminder herself that right now, in this life, she and Astra were working on being friends.  They were far from dating, and at the moment Alex had no claim to touch the woman in any way other than platonically.  Not until she could get a better grasp on what was in her head. 

And then there was Kara. 

“That’s the path to Fluron! It even has the little path lit up for the flight simulator!” 

Astra laughed, pleased with Kara’s response.  “You remember the outer planets?” 

Kara rolled her eyes.  “This is so cool!” 

Alex let the two of them “ooo” and “aww” over the map.  She would let them have this moment, before having to drag them back to the reality that either the hostiles who crashed were Kryptonian, or had somehow come into contact with Kryptonian technology.  Either way, the discover left them with more questions than answers. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and welcome to the apology section of your chapter! So: sorry I still have everyone hanging in the pirate section, but this was getting really long, so I needed to split this up. Next chapter soon! Yes, Non does have a back story here and I need to get to it to do the rest of this book lol.  
> Second apology: I don't use a beta reader (commitment issues, remember?) so I'm sure plenty leaks through even with a second proofread with my own fabulous eyes. :/ This is a one-woman operation, so I can only say so sorry again and thank you for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to get this up before I disappear into holiday madness--so happy holi-gays to all of you, and I hope you have a lovely whateveryoucelebrate + New Year's!

_1717_

_Immediately, looking into the teary, worn eyes of Non from across the table, the guilt washed over Astra harder and colder than any wave she’d ever experienced._

_“What happened?  Why—how?”  Non stuttered, looking around at their surroundings._

_Judging from his attire, Non was also in the pirating business, but judging from the well-off condition of his clothes, most likely as a privateer.  It wouldn’t surprise her; anytime Non could sellout to make life easier, he would._

_The thought immediately added to her guilt.  This was her best friend, and clearly, he had been looking for her.  Now wasn’t the time to judge his life choices, but answer for her own._

_“Non, why don’t we go somewhere more private?” Astra motioned to the drunken members of her crew sitting around her, knowing they’d listen to their entire conversation if she stayed.  He nodded, standing up and wiping his eyes.  She dragged him behind the tavern.  The Captain wasn’t sure why she felt the need to hide that she had a husband from her crew, but the thought that they’d know something so personal made her uncomfortable._

_“Are you being held against your will?”  Was the first thing out of Non’s mouth once they were away from the others._

_“What? No, nothing like that.  Why would you think--”_

_“Astra, my wife, goes on a routine mission to a non-hostile yet primitive planet, stops checking in, and then sends word she’s not coming back. What am I supposed to think?  Do you really think I’d believe you’d just abandon your career? If you are being held, I give my word, tell me and I’ll get you out of here.”  The way his eyes shone, even in the moonlight, Astra knew what he was really saying._

_When he put it like that, she understood his worry.  She had spent years building her career, and really was surprised how easy it was to flush away with the right motivations._

_‘Do you really think I’d believe you’d just abandon me?’ was the real question that he didn’t want to seem vulnerable enough to ask._

_“I shouldn’t have just left like that.  I’m sorry.”_

_“I’m sorry?  That’s all?  Astra, what is going on?” His voice was strong, but those eyes—they always showed his true emotions.  Astra knew them well.  In this instance, his eyes were pleading.  She knew they weren’t in love, not like a love match marriage, as their marriage was arranged, but he was still her friend._

_It was clicking in her head: she had betrayed her best friend.  Deeply._

_She hated this.  She hated that someone would be hurt by her actions.  However—they had both agreed that if either of them ever had a love match, the other wouldn’t stand in the way._

_But, at the same point, it wasn’t right that she never told him that was what happened.  Truthfully, deep down inside, she was afraid to tell him she’d fallen in love with a human.  Now, seeing him live, on earth, she did understand that she owed him an explanation._

_She did marry him after all, of her own free will.  And even if she did have love now, she still promised that Non would be part of her life forever.  She took that oath when she allowed the arrangement._

_“I have a lover.”  His eyebrows shot up, the sadness leaving his face._

_“That’s—wow!  Why didn’t you tell me? Can I meet her?  It is a her, right?  That hasn’t changed? Does she love you as well? I’d think not, if that’s how you’re dressing these days. Who? Is it someone from the Venus congregate? They have bases on Earth now too, or so I’ve heard. Oh! This is exciting!”  He shoved her arm, giving Astra the signal that all was forgiven, even if she didn’t quite forgive herself yet for getting so wrapped up in Alexandra that she never sent word back to Non._

_“It is exciting.  And—I suppose I have a lot to share with you, and you probably as well.  But we should go catch up at least out on the main floor.” Astra motioned towards going back to the patio at the beachside tavern.  The last thing she wanted was Alexandra to come out of an hour with Clarinda to find Astra alone with a man she didn’t know.  She began looking for a table away from her crew, so they couldn’t listen, but public enough so that when Alexandra came out, she could see that Astra wasn’t hiding anything._

_At least, not anymore._

* * *

“Is Non here?”  Alex asked out of the blue, the memory of Astra’s husband suddenly rushing back. 

Astra was getting used to pieces of the puzzle coming back to Alex, and as she remembered more, names, places, the questions would be blurted out, seemingly out of left field. 

Like now, while casually having a pizza at Kara’s while helping the younger Kryptonian choose a new carpet color, swatches laid out between pizza boxes, the three having spent the last hour arguing about how ugly the green selection was.   

“Uncle Non?  What—is he here?  Alex, how do you know—nevermind.”  Kara smacked her own forehead.  Another sign that Alex indeed did know her Aunt from another lifetime, meaning her big sister knew her Aunt better than she did.  “Is he? He shouldn’t be back here at all, after…” 

Astra shuddered.  The man Non had become in recent history, when they were plotting to deploy Myriad—Astra, to save Earth so she could continue being with Alex, and Non, planning to save Earth the planet, thinking of it as “new Krypton”, intending to free the planet of its current inhabitants, was most certainly not the man she had married.  Not one bit. 

Prison had changed him.  Earth had changed him.  And while she knew he cared for her, deep down, and never stopped being her friend, he was no longer the kind man she agreed to marry. 

“I haven’t seen him since…” She didn’t want to say the words.  She didn’t want to mention being dead, and then healing from being dead, because there was no way to acknowledge that history without triggering Alex.  And clearly Alex had just had a flashback of a memory, which took her to the point before Non had decided he was also going to mind control all of earth, albeit his motives were quite different from Astra’s.

Kara looked at the expressions worn by her Aunt and her sister. Clearly, she was missing a piece of a very large puzzle that these days she seemed to have less and less ability to put together.  The pile of color swatches in her hand were forgotten, but still in her grip.

“Alex, why would you ask about my uncle?  You know he went evil.”  The angry in Kara’s voice told the story of how it _really_ got under her skin when family went to the wrong side.

“It’s just—Kara, he wasn’t always evil, you know? I can’t help but think that if had had any inclination towards going evil, I had a hand in pushing him towards that direction.” Astra defended Alex, not realizing she was about to open a very large can of Kryptonian worms.

“You didn’t, though.  He made his own choices.” Alex put her hand on Astra’s over the swatch pile.  “I know you feel like you own him after abandoning him, but he understood. We all do.” 

“We all don’t.” Kara said, eyes still bouncing back and forth between her Astra and Alex.  “Why would you think you were at fault?” 

Astra sighed.  While Kara had a good relationship with her Aunt as a child on Krypton, she only saw her Uncle Non on special occasions.  He was a bit of a work-a-holic, and the main Kryptonian holidays, along with birthdays and the mandatory annual two week vacation from the military were the only times he relaxed. 

The General deduced that Kara never really understood their relationship.  Hell, she was shipped off to Earth so young that she probably had no idea that she would’ve had a marriage arranged for her by the age of twenty if she didn’t already have a fiancé lined up.  Knowing Kara’s temperament, partly shaped by Earth values, if anyone tried that with her now they’d most likely be met with one hell of a Kryptonian punch.

“Where do I begin, little one.” Alex took away the swatch piles, tossing the hideous green discreetly into the trash, then moving to open a bottle of wine for the three of them.  She knew this story was going to take awhile. 

“Kara, did your mother ever speak to you about marriage?” 

“Well, not directly.  Only in passing—when she’d say things like ‘when you get married’ or ‘one day, your husband will’ blah blah blah.”

“Ugh.  Same.”  Alex interjected.  “And I used to hate it.  Like, why are you assuming I want to get married?  And now, pft, well, husband? A little off, Mom.”  Alex was enjoying her wine.

“Right.  Well, Alex, the difference is here you would have the choice.  Kara, on Krypton, you must be married, or you financially can’t exist.  Economically, adults are categorized as two-person married units.  Being unmarried without family to support you would be impossible.  It’s not like earth.  Of course, on Krypton, you can still marry for love.  You can get divorced, and marry another.  You can also just get married and have as many affairs as you’d like—within reason, of course.  Nobody goes screaming into the streets about their personal business, but it’s common.  And accepted, especially if you were in an arranged marriage. I also—Kara, don’t look so surprised.  There are place on Earth that have arranged marriages as well, although it was more common back when I first arrived.” 

Astra paused after that part, letting it linger in the air.  It only took a moment before Kara realized both Astra and Alex were staring at her, gauging her reaction. 

“What?  What did—oh.”  The wheels in Kara’s head finally kicked into gear.  “You were in an arranged marriage to Uncle Non. Oooohhh.” 

Astra chuckled.  “Not too much of an oooohhh, Little One.  I wasn’t forced.  I was given the choice to find a love match or let your Grandfather arrange a marriage.  I chose the latter.” 

“Besides, he did a good job finding Non for you.  And he did give you that out--”

“How do you know—right.  Past lives.  All with my Aunt.”  Kara cut Alex off, pausing to take an exceptionally bigg gulp of the wine, hoping the alcohol that usually didn’t impact her would give her some kind of placebo effect buzz. 

Astra smiled, choosing to address one curiosity at a time. 

“When I was nineteen, Father asked me if I had a boyfriend.  I knew from the formality of the conversation that he wasn’t asking just because he was curious what I was up to.  He knew by then that I was more inclined to women anyway…so when I told him no, he gave me a proposal.  He asked me to let him find a match.  That if I didn’t have a love match by twenty, he could find one for me.  And, the stipulation was, if I didn’t like him after being married for a month, I could come home, have it annulled, and he’d never bother me again.” 

“Aunt Astra, I can’t imagine…I mean, I love Mom.  Both of my Moms, and Dad, and Jeremiah, but I couldn’t imagine ever letting one of them pick a husband for me.  That’s. Wow. So…you agreed, knowing you had the out?” 

She nodded, eyes twinkling a bit.  She enjoyed telling Kara stories about Krypton, about their past—and as upset as she was at how Non turned out in recent history, she knew how he was in the past, and had hope that he could still come around in the future. 

“I did.  Kara, you have to understand how much I loved your grandfather.  I know you were only five when he died, but I never really got along with your grandmother. She was always—disapproving. And I knew my Father would never say that I could come home and annul it if he didn’t mean it.  And back then, you had to be married.  Without being married at an adult age, you couldn’t claim wages if you worked for the government like I did, you couldn’t rent or buy a home, or a space pod. You’d be sentenced to live off of the kindness of your parents, as long as they let you live in their house. It was impossible to live single and independent.  It’s not how Kryptonians do things.”

Kara took a moment to look around her apartment.  _Her_ apartment. As in a space she rented with only her name on the lease. That she came home from after her job, which she also was paid through a deposit to her own personal bank account. 

She was surrounded by her own things and nobody else’s. It wasn’t sitting well with Kara that she had a nostalgia around Krypton, where she had grown up, but her current life of independence wouldn’t even be possible there.  It was hard to rectify in her head. Now the blonde sat wondering if her parents’ marriage was also arranged—if she had gotten the wrong idea about more of her childhood. 

“What if you got divorced? Or if your spouse died?”  Alex interjected.  While she knew the story of Astra and Non, she never really asked about all of the Kryptonian specifics. 

“If you were divorced, you had a year to either move back with family or find another spouse.  If your spouse died or there was spousal abandonment,” Astra paused for a moment, swallowing, “like what I did to Non, you were allowed two years of grieving.  It doesn’t sound like a lot, but Kryptonian years are a lot longer than Earth years because we have a different sun.”

“You abandoned him—what? Wow.  Okay, you know what?  I’m listening.”  Kara was already starting to get information overload, but Astra knew she owed the youngster the full story. 

“Right.  So, I told Father I’d let him pick for me.  And he had a heck of a time hunting down Non, let me tell you.  It took him almost until my twentieth birthday—I think he clocked in at locating him only a few days before.” 

“Why was he specifically looking for Non?”  Astra smiled at that part. 

“He was my best friend when we were children.  We grew up together.  We played every day after school until I was eleven.  We were so close, our parents even allowed us to have sleepovers even though we were opposite genders, but of course we were supervised. Even if we weren’t playing together at our home or his, then we’d play digital games on the interface for hours.  I used to call him ‘pole boy’ because he was so skinny that whenever he came to visit our house, Mother would try to stuff him with sweets to get some meat on his bones.” 

Kara’s face grew wide with warmth, hearing Astra chuckle.  Even Alex had to lean in closer to hear the retelling.

“My father was determined to find him to be my husband.  I think he remembered how upset I was when his family moved away after his parents were relocated to a moon base.  Oh, how I cried! It was my first true heartbreak. They found me stuffing myself inside a suitcase to try to sneak away with him when I found out.  Of course, they noticed a moving, overstuffed, breathing suitcase, so that didn’t go very far…when he left, it was rough. I wouldn’t even go out to see any of my other friends for a good year after Non moved.” 

The blonde Kryptonian’s grin shone, loving hearing about her family’s past.  “So, Grandpa found your long lost childhood friend for you?” 

Astra nodded.  “He did.  I think he knew I wouldn’t say no to that.  I couldn’t believe he went through all that trouble for me.  Of course, when he contacted Non’s parents, they immediately agreed to ask Non if he also would engage in an arranged marriage, but they didn’t tell us who with.  They saved the surprise for the night before the wedding. Needless to say, the month ‘trial’ period flew by, as we were spending the entire time catching up with each other.  It was…”  Astra paused, trying to think of the words. 

Her father finding her best friend for her, knowing he was nearing the end of his own life, wanting to see, to know, that Astra would be happy when he was no longer around, it was the kindest act she’d ever experienced from a family member, living or dead. 

“It was a gift.  I can say that.” 

“Well, did you fall in love with him then? I mean, you were so happy, he was your best friend, I mean what comes next--”

“I think I came next.”  Alex blurted out, flushing from the Pino Grigio. 

“Ha! Somewhat.  Kara, I will always love your Uncle Non.  As a friend.  He was aware that I like women from very early on.  And as for him, romantically…let’s just say he’d never be interested in a monogamous arrangement.  He’s always had at least two girlfriends.”

“What?! How?”  Kara couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  Her perfect, heavenly love story coming crumbling down in little alien pieces around her.  It was like a roller coaster ride of family perfection, and then family truths that felt a little too adult, even though Kara _was_ an adult now.

“Kara, marriages were economic agreements, and most of them weren’t love matches.  It wasn’t uncommon.  People with my proclivities sought their romantic fulfillment outside of the marriage, and Kryptonian rules certainly didn’t allow for polyamorous marriages, so Non knew that one day if he were married it wouldn’t be a love match, to allow him to explore himself fully.  But the thing is, Kara,” Astra leaned over the table, putting her hands on her niece’s, “it worked for us.  For a long, long time, we were very happy in our friendship marriage.” 

“And then?”  She led, wondering why that was suddenly no longer the case.

“And then, I came to earth, and met Alex. And let me tell you, Little One, there are worlds of difference between just having a fun friendship marriage, and being truly, wholly in love.” 

Kara’s face fell. 

It was all true.  Really, truly, and deeply.  Alex had given her a very watered down, PG version of her memories of Astra, but at least had given her sister the gist that they were romantic memories. 

But still, maybe from Alex’s considerate censorship, or from Kara’s own biased memories where she only could think of Aunt Astra as married to Uncle Non, it really hadn’t sunk in that Astra and Alex had a romantic past.  At least, not one that she could grasp the extent of. 

But here, seeing Astra and Alex smile at each other, the way they bantered back and forth so easily over the color swatches, the way Astra had no qualms about casually brushing Alex’s arm or Alex passing Astra another slice of pizza even before she’d ask for it…

Alex poured herself more of the Pinot, taking a long swig, Astra simply smiling in Alex’s general direction.  Kara couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Are you two sleeping together?” 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alert for the pirate lovers: this entire chapter is in the speakeasy! If that's not your thing, just hang tight a few days ;)   
> If that one is your thing, then welcome! Missed you so much *mwah*!

_1922_

_“I can’t believe she called you.”_

_“Really, Allie, did you think she wouldn’t? Your father and the Dean’s husband used to be quite close.  They go hunting together every fall, in case you have forgotten.” It never ceased to amaze the professor how easily her mother slipped into condescension._

_“Yes, mother.  Please forgive me for not thinking that someone we see once a year wouldn’t be so high on the list.”_

_“Alexandra Mildred Baker, you drop that tone.  Anyway, your father and I agree, it’s time then for you to pick a husband.”_

_“Actually, what the Dean said was a husband OR a publication.  She’s trying to push my career, not push me out of the school.”_

_“Well, dear, which of those do you think we can make happen faster? Obviously, we can pull a fiancé out of thin air if we need to.  You’re a Baker.  I can pull in the heir to a fortune, a British Duke…hell, we could find you a Prince if I need to! Of course, it would have to be a small, unknown country like--”_

_“Mother, I have to go.”_

_Allie slammed down the receiver in the common room, all eyes turning to the corner where the phone was located._

_“Oh, like you weren’t all listening anyway!”  Allie said with the snark still in her voice, before picking up the receiver and dialing a number she knew by heart._

_“Wendy’s Windows!”  Astra’s voice was loud and clear._

_“Astra.  It’s me.”_

_“What’s the order, miss?”_

_Allie sighed, rolling her eyes.  Astra was good at covering up the speakeasy, but she had to have known Allie’s voice by now._

_“Honestly, is this necessary—”_

_“Ma’am, I would be glad to help you, but I need to know what your order is.”_

_Allie sighed loudly, not caring who was eavesdropping at this point.  Usually, Astra’s fake customer service voice made her laugh, but after her last conversation, she was in no mood for it._

_“Fine.  I’d like all of my windows washed, and glossed over for the winter.  And I need it by next Thursday.”_

_“Allie!”  Astra answered, like some sort of Manchurian agent having just been activated._

_“Astra. Honestly.  You don’t know my voice?”_

_“Better safe than sorry.  I hope you’re calling me because you missed me, and not because there is truly some sort of window emergency.”_

_Allie smiled, the tension leaving her body._

_When the college first got a telephone for the common room, Dr. Baker was strictly against it, and voiced her opinion as such.  She outlined to the board how the telephone was an unnecessary technology, that would take away from the women’s written skills, as proper letter etiquette was of the utmost importance._

_Truthfully, she just didn’t want her mother to have a hotline directly to her ear._

_Needless to say, it was a battle that she lost, but because she was so concerned with “proper letter etiquette”, the board made her teach a semester of the skill.  It made Allie want to rip her hair out._

_“I do miss you.” Allie whispered in a hush.  “Very much so.”_

_“Well, you could always swing by tonight.  I haven’t seen you in a week.”  Allie could practically hear the pouting through the phone._

_After the Dean’s threats, the young professor had told Astra they would have to cool down how often they saw each other.  Allie only then became more enthralled with Astra at that moment, because the woman insisted they call and write as much as possible to make up for the lost contact._

_Allie still hadn’t figured out that Astra’s letters were arriving so fast because Astra was flying them up to her at night, even going so far as to ink on the envelope a false postmark.  But she was going to have to give Allie something at some point.  She knew that if Allie was going to escape the need for a husband, it was going to have to be because she published something…which would require Allie to know more about her Kryptonian toy chest back in the lab._

_And right now, all of her research materials were Kryptonian, which means how much Allie published and what were going to have to be Astra’s orchestrations._

_“Precisely.  I would like to come out.  Tonight.”_

_Astra knew Allie couldn’t see her smile through the telephone, but hoped the lit of her voice would convey her excitement._

_“You should!  Please do.  I will have all your favorite fizzes ready to mix.”_

_“Astra, I mean…I would like to come out and stay the night.”_

_The smile Astra wore morphed, such that the corner of her mouth cocked.  “That was the idea, wasn’t it?”_

* * *

_The demand for newer and more inventive cocktails never ran dry.  Every night, it was “well, the Pelican has this with cranberry juice and it makes it so much better!” or “Why don’t any of these have honey?”, or even “What kind of beer do you have?”, the most obnoxious question of all._

_Because the answer was “the illegal kind, and you should be happy there are people in this city who are willing to shoulder the burden to carry it.”  But, of course, being a savvy businesswoman, nothing of the sorts ever came out of Astra’s mouth. More often than not, she expanded her offerings to include the suggestions._

_Because what the alien had learned as human society changed, morphed, went to war, came back from war, increased in technology (which she suspected were introduced from other non-earthly civilizations, but that was neither here nor there), chose new clothes, new leaders, new modes of transportation…_

_What kept Astra’s cover, and ability to continue to exist, was to do her best to learn as she went, keep up with the trends and changes going on, and to keep a profession where she maintained control over her income and life.  The General learned early on that she was so used to being in command, that taking orders from others, even those who had earned their rank, never sat well.  And, of course, having gone AWOL, she did need to support herself._

_So when the patron who came early, five-thirty in the afternoon to be exact, as she was awaiting the arrival of Allie, when he requested a private meeting with the bar matron whom he’d never met, Alexandra immediately recognized him as a threat._

_Not the police. Astra could tell an officer from a mile away.  They might order the illegal alcohol, but no cop in the city would ever go to trial having to risk admitting he drank it, and this fellow had downed his first highball glass of Bee’s Knees like he was a boxer finally getting his between-round water._

_But he was still out of place.  By now, Astra’s clients were two-thirds women, with the remaining third comprised of men who shared homosexual proclivities—all while out hiding such tendencies from their wives, of course, many smoking like chimneys, using the excuse of belonging to men’s cigar clubs as their cover._

_It was a flimsy cover, just as flimsy as the women who had “needlepoint circles” with their lady friends on Friday nights, and left Astra’s for their homes drunk as large, gay skunks can be.  How these spouses never caught on was beyond the barkeep, but she also understood it was none of her business.  It also supported her business, as the two women she employed were not only lying to their spouses about their true preferences, but were keeping that they had jobs under wraps._

_And in Astra’s observations on how to move and change with Earth culture while keeping herself with an income, she knew not to ask about things that weren’t her business._

_But then, there was the gentleman, who was clearly straight as an arrow, who had asked for entry, having his second cocktail, asking again to have a private meeting with the bar owner._

_Who had given this man, so far from their usual clientele, the password?_

_The man had on a blue suit that Astra knew was expensive enough to stand out, but not so much to be flashy or gain entry to the Plaza’s top floor.  A calculated move, by the dark-haired man who was old enough to have lost some of his hair, but hadn’t—he still had a full head, even as his wrinkles and crooked teeth betrayed his attempt at appearing youthful, yet his waistline had expanded to a cozy size also hinting to middle-aged leanings, and also some leanings of indulgence._

_While rubbing the spots off some glasses, trying not to have every hair stand on end at the presence of the man, the alien spotted Allie come in, smiling at her from the doorway, before moving to put her things in the back with Astra’s.  By now it was understood that Astra’s “friend” was allowed in the back, the only non-employee allowed to do so._

_“I’m going to ask one more time, calmly.  I would like to request a meeting with the owner.”  The man’s hand went to his pocket, which immediately set off Astra’s danger senses._

_“And if she isn’t available?”_

_The pistol that Astra was already intuitively aware of made an appearance on the bar table.  It wasn’t some standard banged up old Smith & Wesson either; this was a pistol that looked like it was new and packed a punch.  Of course, the bar matron was aware that the bullets wouldn’t hurt her either way.  But she wasn’t willing to let someone open fire inside of her bar and hurt a patron.  _

_She looked around, noticing that Allie had seen the man conversing with her at the bar, and made it a point to stay away, watching intently.  The look the Kryptonian sent over was pleading with Allie to keep staying back._

_She’d disabled a man with a cannon before, disabling a man with a gun would be no problem._

_“Well, sir, I believe that can be arranged.  A gin shipment just arrived that you may be interested in. We can speak in the back.” Astra said loudly, so that everyone within ear shot would know where she was heading with the stranger._

_The woman, unassuming in stature, easily hiding her true strength and nature, walked calmly to the back room behind the bar, the man following with his pistol still in his hand._

* * *

_“You heard her, Allie.  Gin shipment.  Start the timer.” Shirley’s tone betrayed her; even though they had rehearsed this scenario before, they’d never actually had an intruder, and never had to play out the plan. The professor nodded, taking her place behind the bar._

_Allie didn’t even try to hide that her hand shook as she walked to retrieve the stopwatch, starting the second hand, as Shirley retrieved the revolver from inside behind the cash register.  If Allie Baker was looking for a distraction from her women’s college drama, boy was she getting it, and all before she’d even had a drop to drink._

_“Breath, Allie.  She can take care of herself. And I’m actually quite a good shot.”_

_Three minutes.  That’s all Allie had to wait._

_She replayed the code phrase over and over in her head._

_A Whisky shipment in the back would signal a police officer.  Those were easily enough taken care of with a bribe, never causing any real trouble._

_A Bourbon shipment meant a suspicious character—someone who seemed painfully heterosexual and possibly lost, who would be a threat and maybe blow their cover to the police or newspapers, or just in general if they smelled a potential rat.  These were easily talked into visiting another, better stocked bar through scripted conversation._

_But a Gin shipment—that was a different signal with a very different story._

_And if Astra wasn’t back out in three minutes or less by Allie’s watch, Shirley was to go in the back, blow the guy’s brains out, and trust that when Astra said she knew how to clean up blood stains, that she damn well knew what she was talking about._


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another nugget chapter until I can sit down and write for real--having a bit of a rough time in life, so any positive thoughts that can be sent this way, please send them this way!   
> Also, I'm sure there are mistakes in here that I'm not catching. My eyes are drooping as I attempt to proof-read, so I'm just hitting "post" and crossing my fingers, which also describes my overall method at getting through life.  
> Thanks for stopping by :)

_1717_

_Alexandra exited Clarinda’s quarters, heading back towards the tavern to find the Captain.  She was indeed more relaxed, even though she had absolutely not allowed the woman to massage her in anyway._

_But she did enjoy talking to someone who wasn’t a dirty pirate crew member.  After months at sea, it was refreshing to talk to another woman who wasn’t Astra, and to make an honest friend rather than converse with someone her counterpart commanded._

_She had expected to hate the prostitute, content to dig her heels into the immediate sense of threat, but that thread was easily unwound with an hour of conversation, learning much about Astra’s past adventures that the Captain had left out.  Particularly, Alexandra had found it amusing that the Captain spent her first night in port as a Captain refusing to eat, deathly afraid of the pineapples, as the looked too much like a poisonous plant “where I’m from”, as she had told Clarinda._

_“Silly!”  Alexandra had laughed as the story was relayed to her. “As though there were pineapples in England!”_

_Staying in port was becoming more and more enjoyable, Alexandra still chuckling to herself as she walked back to the tavern, smile dropping from her face as she approached the Captain, with a strange man sitting across from her, as he put his hand over hers._

_She didn’t even shrug him off._

_Corrected: She had the nerve to not even shrug him off._

_It was amazing how Alexandra could go from laughing and smiling one moment to red-eyed rage the next._

_And rage it was indeed._

_It took approximately two seconds for Alexandra to wipe the look of shock-anger off of her face, promptly turning on her heels back towards Clarinda’s house of ladies._

* * *

Astra was running out of excuses to be near Alex.  It was something she thought over, as she swirled a finger of Martian Sticky, which she had learned down at the alien bar was like bourbon, but aliens could actually be affected by it.  She watched the liquor spin in the glass. 

She realized then she had also missed being around alcohol. 

Not nearly as much as she missed having Alex’s romantic companionship.

The redhead that she felt infinitely connected to never turned down her offers for lunches together, to congregate at her niece’s apartment for games and greasy, sodium-laden earth cuisine, to have a workout or sparring buddy at the DEO gym, or any other excuse Astra found to try to spend time with Alex. 

She kept reminding herself that Alex could say “no” at any time.  The earthling was under no obligation to maintain any warm feelings of any sort, and if she were honest and truly thought about the events that had transpired leading to Astra’s death, she was surprised that Alex had allowed even a friendship.  That she allowed Astra’s sorry excuses for touches—a shoulder bump here, a pat on the arm there—Alex never returned the touches, but if Astra paid close attention, she always seemed to lean in, just a smidge. 

The General hoped it wasn’t her imagination. 

However, she was itching for alone time since the night they stayed up talking about Alex’s memories.  Having time that was just Astra and Alex—it felt right.  It felt like they were back in the swing of things.  And it was starting to drive Astra absolute bananas that they could never have more than a sentence or two of conversation before someone else was there in their daily lives. 

And she did love her niece.  She loved Kara to pieces.  It’s just that she was always _there_.  While she valued that Alex seemed to mutually enjoy their friendship, she needed that alone time. 

She craved it. 

She craved Alex, and it was pushing her into a slow madness that she’d never experienced in any other Alex incarnation. 

Astra realized that she had been so very spoiled in Alex’s previous lives.  They always began with their mutual attraction.  In this lifetime, they had begun as enemies.  The Kryptonian felt as though she was working backwards, and it was painfully slow. Almost as slow as the Martian bourbon, as it took its sweet time sliding down her throat. 

Astra poured herself another serving. 

On the plus side, there was no better motivation to show up to work early than to have time to chat with Alex.  On the down side, she was saying “good morning” to the woman without getting so much as a hug, something she had become accustomed to centuries ago. 

Astra made up her mind.  She had to up her game.  This group effort to spend time with Alexandra—no, _Alex,_ to get to know Alex now, needed to stop.

If she wanted Alex, she would actively have to go get her.

* * *

_1922_

_The stopwatch was moving too fast._

_How could seconds possible tick by in such a violent manner?  Allie was sure as she watched the second hand pass the twelve once, then twice, that at some point the door to the back would open._

_But it didn’t.  And the second hand was rapidly approaching its third sweep around, as Shirley clenched the revolver like she already knew what was about to happen.  Like it was just another task assigned at the bar.  Sweep and mop. Glasses washed in scalding hot water, no spots allowed, hand dried. Sometimes, a threat needs to be eliminated.  Stock the shelves, put the false juice labels on the liquor bottles._

_Still, Shirley was game.  Working in the speakeasy had made her the happiest she’d ever been in her life. Being surrounded by other like-minded individuals, in a place full of liquor, music, and fun—it was like she was living in a never-ending dream.  A happy dream._

_If she had to use the revolver to keep that dream going, then she was going to trust Astra’s instincts, and the shady figure in the back was getting a bullet in his head for threatening their self-made hideaway._

* * *

_When the mysterious man agreed to sit across the small break table that hardly ever got used in the back room, Astra was all too happy to comply with his demand to sit facing the door._

_As far as the barkeep was concerned, that meant it would be easier for Shirley to see him and put a bullet directly into his forehead._

_“What is it that you wanted to speak to me about?”  She asked, sitting somewhat askew from him, not wanting to be in line with the door that would be opening in three minutes._

_“Please, call me Vin.”_

_“Vin what?  Do you have a last name, Mister Vin?”  Astra cocked an eyebrow.  She had found a quick way to turn the tables and assert her power when she was a General, was to make quick demands for information, no matter how small the demand appeared to be.  It got the opposing General to become accustomed to giving up pieces of information before getting to the heavy questions._

_“Just Vin.  Everybody around here knows who Vin is.”_

_He wasn’t biting.  Well, plan B was already in place then, provided Shirley had remembered where the revolver was, and Allie wasn’t outside trying to talk her out of using it._

_Vin reached into the inside pocket in his suit jacket and pulled out a small notepad, one that he had been clearly using for quite some time, judging from it’s crumpled edges and part down the middle from being squeezed._

_He flipped to about halfway through the book and started reading._

_“Mary Roberts. 43. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Two children, one husband.  374 Sugar Tree Lane. James Helenica. Salt-and-pepper gray. No children, married. Wife thinks he belongs to a gentlemen’s cigar club, yet he never returns home with any cigars. 17A West 39 th street. Doctor Aleksandra Baker, red hair, hazel eyes--”_

_“What exactly are you doing?”  Astra had went from mildly amused by the man to seething angry in mere seconds._

_“Well, I’m reading to you a list of your regulars.  You see, I’ve been watching you.  And you’re a very smart businesswoman.  But, you are vulnerable.  At any time, someone could alert the families and employers as to what these nice folks are up to in the evenings, and I’m sure they don’t want that, do they?”_

_“What are you implying?” Astra narrowed her eyes at the man.  She wasn’t sure she was going to be able to keep her cool long enough to allow for three minutes to pass.  The stranger had been watching them, and had the nerve to mention Allie.  Like she would just be collateral damage.  Or used for his extortion._

_“The people I work for charge a small monthly fee for protection, to make sure nobody lets information like this out.  And since Doctor Baker is the only one in this booklet of mine who regularly goes home with you at the end of the night, I’m guessing she most of all is someone who wouldn’t want this to get out.”_

_In the seconds it took for Astra to zip across the room and pick the man up by his throat, she realized she was right._

_She did not have the patience to wait three full minutes for this man to be disposed of properly._

 

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

_1922_

_Astra and the tiny human who dared agitate her didn’t even acknowledge the door busting open, instead awkwardly wrestling with hands around each other’s necks._

_Astra knew choking him unconscious while still appearing to only have human strength would take a lot longer than just being her Kryptonian self and snapping his neck, but she was not willing to reveal herself. There would be too many questions as to how she was able to carry out such a maneuver as a simple bartender.  And anyway, she knew that Shirley should be busting in through the door any moment now if she didn’t choke him out the old fashioned way._

_Even though the man deserved a snapped neck, as far as she was concerned._

_So, when Shirley bust the door open, gun in hand, she was stunned at what she found, freezing in the doorway._

_“Shirley, if you can get a clean shot, finish him!” Astra shouted, knowing that the way the two of them were squirming that Shirley would have difficulty getting a shot._

_Astra was so focused on keeping the man held down using only a quarter of her strength, strangling him, while he struggled to keep his hands around her neck and kick her mid-section, not knowing that his blows barely registered, that she didn’t hear the scuffle going on with Shirley at the doorway._

_Until she heard the blast of the shotgun, seeing the bullet enter the side of Vin’s forehead, blood splattering._

_Astra let go, as the man’s dying body slouched down, as she let him slide onto the floor unconscious.  Only then did she look up to thank Shirley, for protecting her, protecting them and all they had, for protecting Alex, who the man had so callously threatened—_

_The barkeep’s eyes went wide, as she looked over to find Alex, still holding the smoking gun, Shirley cowering in the corner with her hands over her face._

_Alex.  Not Shirley._

* * *

_1717_

_When Alexandra re-exited Clarinda’s house of ladies, she breathed in the air as a new woman._

_While she had initially intended on only borrowing one of Clarinda’s revealing dresses, if the woman would allow it, the herbalist insisted that if she were borrowing the dress, she would need to make over her entire look to make it fashionable.  And the woman who was slowly becoming Alexandra’s friend was more than supportive—gasping at all the right moments, as Alexandra relayed the story of finding Astra sitting across from a man who was allowing his had to become entirely too familiar with her Captain’s bare arm._

_“I need a look that brings the attention back where it belongs. Thank you.”  Alexandra accepted a necklace and also a puff off of one of Clarinda’s strange cigars, recognizing the taste from having one earlier in the bath._

_“Alexandra, when I’m done, I assure you all of the attention will be exactly there.”_

_The redhead couldn’t help but smile, taking another pull from the misshaped, yet delicious cigar._

_“What exactly is in these?”  She asked as Clarinda took a crude metal curling device off of the fire._

_Clarinda grinned.  “Ah.  My most popular remedy.  It is mostly tobacco.  Mixed with a local herb that relaxes you but stimulates the appetite.  Don’t worry.  It’s harmless.”_

_And as they puffed the rage away, she couldn’t help but smile at the look that was unfolding before her as Clarinda set to work on her hair.  It was everything that she wasn’t.  But then again, until she met Astra, she wasn’t particularly bold or prone to fighting skills either._

_Out stepped Alexandra into the crisp night air, wearing what she would formerly assume to be night clothes, with no petticoat layers underneath and cut much higher than she was used to, with the addition of expertly curled hair and large streaks of rouge on her face._

_It was strange.  After months at sea, her style had morphed into an androgynous mix of things she used to wear and found comfort in on mainland and standard male pirate gear.  At no point would her current very red, very tight clothing accommodations be something in her regular rotation—but in the moment, because of the somewhat costumed element of such wear, it made Alexandra feel bold.  It almost felt as if the choice of dress was a shield—she could say and do anything she wanted from behind it._

_She stomped confidently, even though the heeled shoes that Clarinda had chosen didn’t quite fit right, and after months of wearing boots Alexandra struggled to walk on only the balls of her feet, but she didn’t care._

_She had seen the mirror, and she knew she looked amazing._

_And when she stomped right over to the Captain’s table, with Astra still facing and conversing with the unwanted interloper, she had no problems with the confidence to stand her ground._

_“Alexandra I—oh.”  Astra’s jaw dropped, causing Alexandra to smirk._

_“Got your attention then.”  She answered, noticing that the Captain could only nod, rendered unable to speak, jaw still slack._

_Good.  The makeover was having its desired effect. The redhead leaned over the table, letting Astra’s eyes wander to the low-cut bosom region, knowing that was the most potent part of the dress._

_It was the only plan Alexandra was able to run through her head during her moment of rage that didn’t include some type of violence._

_Until Non saw fit to open his mouth._

_“I’m sorry, miss, but we’re having a conversation.  I don’t believe either of us are interested in purchasing your services. Well, I suppose maybe later on--”_

_“My what?!”_

_“Oh, no, Non, no.  She’s not--” Astra’s protests were useless, as it took Alexandra exactly three seconds figure out how to punch a man square in the jaw while wearing heels._

_A move that was followed then by jumping onto him once he had fallen to the ground by kicking off said heels, ripping one’s dress, and continuing to punch him unconscious until she could feel Astra’s impossibly strong arms lifting her off of him._

* * *

Astra knew this was going to happen.  She knew it.  Deep down in her soul, as soon as she had casually suggested they meet up at the alien bar after work to celebrate a job well done, even offering to buy the agent a round for watching her back in the field, she knew Alex would invite Kara without telling her. 

And even though she knew it, she had also sort of hoped this time it wouldn’t be the case. 

But alas, in walked Alex, looking stunning and perfect even in her even barroom casual clothes, and as Astra’s face lit up at the sight of Alex showing up right at seven on the dot, it fell just as quickly, seeing her young niece wave hello from behind, causing the blonde to awkwardly bump into the bouncer and apologize profusely as she walked backwards, causing her then to again bump into someone else on the way. 

The General sighed.  It was like the glasses went on and the poor baby Kryptonian lost all sense of balance. 

Well then. Change of plans. 

“Hey!  You started without us.”  Alex gestured to the mixed drink in front of Astra, its ability to both glow in the dark and sparkle like turquoise glitter giving away that it was indeed an alien alcohol drink. 

“Well, I didn’t think you’d appreciate something that will make your eyes bleed as a human, as delicious as it is.” Astra smirked out her answer, wondering if Alex could tell she was completely bluffing and the drink would do nothing of the sort.

“Oooh!  I want to try!”  Kara rushed in, hand out.  Astra rolled her eyes, handing her niece the drink. 

“Mmm.  Fruity.  And—meaty?  Is this liquor made of fruit meat?”  Kara continued to mull the drink over, helping herself to another sip as she swore she heard something along the lines of “so much to teach her” mumbled from her Aunt’s mouth. 

“How about just a beer for me. I seem to recall someone ‘owing me one’, which isn’t entirely true but never something I’m going to argue with.” 

“Well, one beer it is. Always the sharpshooter.  You’ve managed to save me with a shot yet again.”

* * *

_1922_

_Astra got up very carefully, seeing Allies’s hands shake, still holding the gun, eyes wide._

_She’d recognized this type of shell-shocked expression before, had seen it on many young soldiers. The General eased over to Allie’s side, gently wrapping one hand around a shaking one, then the other._

_Shirley, now coming back to her senses after she hesitated to shoot for so long that Allie had simply ripped the gun out of her hands and done the deed for her, closed the door, amazed that the clientele was so used to bar fights, mafia, and police raids, that hearing a gunshot in the back room didn’t even phase anyone._

_Now, it was just Astra, Allie, and Shirley in the back room._

_Oh, and a dead body._

_“Allie, look at me.”  Astra slipped the gun out of the woman’s hands, noticing how pale she had become.  “That was a good shot.”_

_Allie nodded, trying to be brave, but the paleness of her face and her trembling voice giving her away.  “My father is a hunter.  He taught me how to shoot—well, with a rifle, but I thought aiming with a smaller gun probably wasn’t too different.”_

_The professor, still vibrating with the reality of what just occurred, looked over at the body, whose eyes were still open, stuck in a stare with the ceiling._

_“I was wrong.  It’s very different.”_

_Shirley immediately set to pouring out a portion of  bleach into a bucket of water._

_“It is.  But Alex, we do what needs to be done.”  Astra kicked herself a bit for sounding so callous when Allie was clearly so upset, but she truly didn’t know what else to say._

_“I killed a man.”  Allie said._

_Astra so wanted to tell Allie that it wasn’t the first time.  That pirate Alexandra had shot, stabbed, and thrown men overboard for making similar threats, but what good would it do?  The woman couldn’t remember any of it anyway.  Astra actually wondered if Allie was just naturally, genetically going to be a good shot in any life, since she seemed to know exactly where to shoot for a clean entry._

_“Yes, but it was a man who was about to ruin all of our lives for as long as we live, so forgive me if I don’t mourn him as a loss.”_

_“He was what?”_

_“He was going to expose us.  You. Me. Shirley.  Everyone at this bar.  I would be raided until the police found enough to shut me down, you would--”_

_“Lose my job, my freedom forever.  Then there’s everyone else...”  Allie closed her eyes shaking her head.  It was an impossible situation, one that Allie had barely considered even though she was dating an illegal bar owner.  But at least in the more far reaching scenarios she had considered, she wouldn’t have had blood on her hands as a possible outcome._

_Astra found a large, cloth sack in the back, looking suspiciously like a military issue, but Allie was too shaken to notice the details.  She began stuffing the body inside.  Allie was also too shaken to notice how easy it was for Astra to pick up what had to be at least two hundred pounds of literal dead weight._

_Shirley let out a sigh at the sight, nodding as she continued mopping up the splattered blood._

_“What?”  Allie asked, eyes bouncing back and forth from the gun to the body in the bag._

_“I’m going to take care of the body.”_

_“How? Oh my God. If they find the body, the police will trace it back to here—to me.”_

_“Which is why I can promise you, one hundred percent that I will dispose of the body and nobody will find it.  I promise.”_

_Allie’s eyes were back to wide._

_“Allie.” Astra put the bag down, the ‘thud’ of the man’s head hitting the floor reverberating through the small back room.  The General put her hand on a pale cheek, soothingly running her thumb up and down.  “Allie, I promise, I am making this go away.”_

_And then Astra was out the secret back exit._

_The woman shot up in the sky, flying with the bag up into the darkness of night.  As far as she was concerned, this dead body needed to be flown to an entirely different country and buried, not just to another state._

_The General was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear Allie crack open the back door, seeing Astra shoot upwards into the sky._

* * *

Astra gave her niece a narrow-eyed glare, wondering how Supergirl, who was supposed to stop the criminals, became such a thief. 

Stealing her drinks to “try”, stealing her time with Alex, stealing her turn at pool. Even if she was adorable and innocent while doing it, it needed to stop. 

“Little one, why don’t you procure some snacks for us?  I’m getting a little hungry, and I’ve never actually had any food from here.  Do you think they have anything Kryptonian?” 

“Oooh!”  Kara’s eyes went wide with pride from the request.  “They SORT of do if you know what to ask for—leave it to me!” 

And with that Kara went off, even though the General knew she was only buying herself a few minutes. 

Better not waste time. 

“So.”  Astra asked Alex, who immediately responded by biting her lip.  “How are you?” 

“I’m fine.  I know it looked like a difficult kill, but it was fairly routine.”

“No.”  Astra shook her head, hoping Alex didn’t notice how she was shuffling closer, gripping her pool cue without taking a shot.  “I meant you.  _You_.  After all the—you know, last few weeks.” 

“I’m…well, I’ve actually been working on something. Something that maybe you might know a little bit about.  At least, I hope, because I don’t know where to begin.” 

“Oh? Like what?”  Astra was genuinely intrigued, and very interested in Alex’s bottom lip that the woman just kept biting down on between sentences. 

“Okay!  So if you ask them to fill their pierogies with potatoes, corn, onions and soy sauce, they taste exactly like Kryptonian Mickles if you dab a little ketchup on there.  Boy, we are lucky this bar takes requests.”  Astra rolled her eyes as Kara had come bouncing back, so proud of her order that she was clearly oblivious to the conversation she was interrupting, taking the pool cue yet again out of Astra’s hand. 

Thief. 

Although, the older Kryptonian did have to admit some old fashioned Mickles sounded pretty good right about now. 

But she _really_ wanted Alex to finish this conversation.  At that point, Astra considered that desperate times called for desperate measures, taking out her DEO issued cell phone, hoping she had saved Winn’s number as she scrolled—ah, indeed, there was his number.  She wasted no time sending him a lengthy text. 

“Aunt Astra!  Who are you texting so late at night?  Hmm?” 

“Oh no, not texting.”  Astra put her phone away quickly.  “I was googling the weather.”

“Wow! Look at you adjusting to earth life.  Googling already.” 

Astra laughed.  “Dear Kara, you do understand that I’ve been living here since before you were born, correct?”  Alex snorted in the background, covering her mouth so no beer seeped out. 

“Well, I just meant--” Kara was interrupted by her cell phone. 

“Hello.  Winn? Yes, I’m—ugh, fine.  No, no, I know it’s my job, just—don’t these criminals ever take a night off?  Yes, yes.  Leaving now.”  Kara hung up the phone, shoulders deflating.  “Well, it’s been fun, but the DEO thinks a possible robber is loose. Oh, and he has spikes on his head and a tail, so, you know, my baddie to catch.” 

And with that, Kara shot out the door. 

“Should we go with her?”  Alex asked. 

“No, she’ll be just fine.”  Astra smiled at herself, impressed that Winn was able to put something together so quickly at her request.  “Now, what is it that you’ve been working on?”

* * *

“That is—Alexandra!  I think it’s a wonderful idea.”  Astra chomped on her ninth mickle, being mindful to put a few aside for Kara, who she knew would most certainly not get the hint and come back to the bar after the assignment she had Winn make up. 

“So?”  Alex’s eyes sparkled. 

“So, what?” 

“So, where do I start?” 

Astra let out a sigh, looking straight into Alex’s eyes.  “That part, I do not know.  Don’t you think that if I knew how to make it so you’d remember all your past lives in your next life that I’d have done it by now?  Do you know how hard it is to see you life after life, and each time pretend that I don’t already love you from the last?” 

Alex fell silent, struck by how Astra was able to say everything she meant without breaking eye contact. 

“I don’t want to lose all these memories on the next round.  It was overwhelming at first, probably because it was so unexpected.  But knowing, knowing all of my pasts, it’s better than not knowing.”

“I agree.  You finally knowing the truth—all the truths. It is more than I ever could have asked for.”

She held the eye contact with Alex for a long time without flinching or looking away.  It was—Alex wan’t sure how to describe it, but it felt vulnerable. Like Astra was continuing to tell her things with just a look. 

Alex found she wasn’t willing to break the eye contact either.

* * *

Kara huffled back to the alien bar, not even bothering to change out of the Supersuit.  

After chasing an imaginary animal through alley after alley based on the shadows, sure she had found the criminal, she only just realized it was a raccoon when Winn sent her the “Sorry! So sorry—false alarm!  Please don’t be mad I’msosorryreally” text message. 

She couldn’t _wait_ to get back to that odd yet delightful shimmer drink and some Kryptonian-like snacks—

Kara froze less than ten feet into the bar, eyes bulging out of her head. 

Kara Danvers hoped that this whole night was some kind of dream, because seeing her sister lean across the small, round high table to kiss her Aunt, hands moving to the older woman’s face while two Kryptonian hands clearly went around her sister’s waist—

Kara backed her way out of the bar, still not having blinked, mouth still wide open. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Been sitting on this one for awhile, thought I was going to add to it but clearly I'm not, so just posting and will carry on to the next chapter when I get a chance.   
> Additions: estimating about 22 chapters? Maybe-ish? I need to give myself a cut off, or this will go on and on and on lol.   
> Also, might take a slight break, thinking about doing an AvaLance (if anyone's been following Legends of Tomorrow this ship is sailing, I AM SO ON BOARD, and well, we all know how great I am at juggling multiple fandoms with updates)   
> As always, thanks for stopping in, just remember to take off your shoes if you're staying awhile :)

_1922_

_When Astra arrived back at the bar, Allie was nowhere to be found._

_Clearly, the Friday night merry-making of being in a speakeasy was not shortened in the slightest by a gunshot from the back; if anything, the crowd was louder than ever, dancing, singing along badly to the record player, some folks on clearly what had to be their sixth or seventh drink of the evening.  It was enough to make the bar matron wonder if these folks would ever be interrupted once they were inside.  The Kryptonian was willing to bet they’d keep dancing through fire and flames, until they passed out one by one from the smoke poisoning._

_“Where is she?”  Astra asked Shirley, who was back behind the bar, although appearing unsettled, judging from the uncharacteristic frown and the fact that every drink she poured was slammed down without so much as a nod to the customer._

_“Astra!  I am so sorry.  I am so, so sorry.  I didn’t think I could get a clear shot without hitting you, and then Allie just grabbed it when she saw him trying to choke you back--”_

_“Shhh!”  Astra said quickly motioning around.  “That is a backroom conversation.  Out here, none of that ever happened.  You saw me go in the back with a man, and you saw him come storming out a few minutes later and leave.  Do you understand, Shirley?  That’s it. And make sure that’s the story that everyone understands.”_

_The woman nodded quickly.  Of course she was acting carelessly.  She knew that.  But she couldn’t help but feel responsible for what transpired earlier._

_“And Shirley,” Astra paused, waiting until the bartender looked back up at her, “It’s alright.  Do you understand?  You didn’t do anything wrong.”_

_“But I did.”_

_“But you didn’t.  You didn’t want to shoot at me.  I understand your hesitancy.”  Astra backed away from the bar, knowing that if Allie wasn’t down here, she had a pretty good idea of where the woman went, and it most certainly wasn’t back home to the college in the middle of the night with no way to get there._

_“It’s a good thing that terrible man left, Shirley.”  Astra said loudly, solidifying the plan she had quickly unloaded on the shaken woman._

_“Indeed.  I hope he never shows his face here again.”  Shirley said back loudly, making sure the nearby patrons overheard.  “Or, at least, what’s left of it.”  She muttered under her breath, turning to wipe down the glasses with a drying cloth._

* * *

Alex quickly forgot all about Kara, all about their snacks, their drinks, their game of pool, and increasingly, their very public location as she fused her mouth together with Astra’s, not realizing how much she had needed this until it was happening. 

The pair didn’t even notice Kara come back in and quickly back out, lost in their own world, oblivious to anything that wasn’t lips and mouths and hands.

It wasn’t until Astra began threading fingers through her short, soft hair and an onlooker let out a “whoop, someone’s getting some tonight!” followed by a howl, that Alex ripped her mouth off Astra’s, looking straight into her eyes, panting from the amount of intensity in such a short time. 

Astra, however, always on the defensive, began side-eying just about everyone in the vicinity, trying to figure out who let out such a rude cat call, interrupting what was most certainly the most pleasant surprise possible for the evening. 

Alex used the opportunity to collect herself, straightening her jacket, fixing her hair, knowing that the last aggressive two minutes had her most likely looking quite disheveled.  When Astra looked back, satisfied that the cat caller was no longer around, she was met with Alex’s shy smirk—just enough to tell Astra they would not be attaching mouths again in public that evening, but blushed enough to know that she had enjoyed it while they were attached. 

* * *

 

_1717_

_Alexandra hung her head, as Clarinda continued cutting clothes to stick up Non’s nose, also working on stopping the bleeding from the cuts on his jaw and above his eyebrow._

_“Husband.”  She muttered, still looking down, trying to let everything sink in._

_Clarinda chucked, watching Alexandra sit wide-legged on a table, make-up and hair thoroughly tossed about, as though she were still wearing pants and out on the high seas.  Maybe lending this woman a dress wasn’t her brightest idea._

_“Yes.”  Astra said gently, standing equidistant from both her husband and her lover._

_“And we…like him?”_

_This time Clarinda couldn’t hold back a snort, rubbing the injured man’s cheek as she moved on to grinding herbs for a healing salve._

_“We do.” The Captain confirmed._

_“Istillwanttohithim.”  Alexandra muttered under her breath._

_“What was that, love?”  Astra, pretending her super hearing wasn’t working responded.  She knew that Alex wasn’t going to handle her having a husband, much less her having one that was physically present very well, but there was simply no need to be rude._

_Alexandra sighed.  “You know I’m not a prostitute, right?”  After Clarinda shot her a look, she quickly followed with, “Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I am not propositioning you.”_

_“Again, I am very, very sorry madam, and I was very, very out of line. After all, I would much prefer an actual prostitute anyway. You understand.  A woman who understands her way around a man.”  He said, winking his not-swollen eye at Clarinda, who simply snorted again before starting to dab his cuts with a strong scented gel._

_“Well, I have to say, it is refreshing to be in the company of an actual male pirate.”  The healer bantered back, squeezing the man’s bicep.  “And a strong one at that.”_

_Astra rolled her eyes.  “Alexandra, at no point are my husband and I engaging in a romantic relationship. As you can see, he’s basically like a brother.”_

_“A handsome brother.”  The dark-haired woman this time winked back at the injured Kryptonian, continuing to dab the salve._

_“I…why didn’t you tell me? Isn’t that important information to tell someone you’re…you’re—well, us, I mean we--”_

_“Someone I lie with as a husband?”_

_Alexandra’s deep blush, as though everyone in the room wasn’t completely aware of the nature of their relationship, was appreciated by the Captain, but unnecessary._

_She moved closer to Alexandra, waiting until the woman looked up, and then even still waiting an extra breath._

_“Alexandra, I am sorry.  I wasn’t consciously hiding anything, but I simply thought that because I deserted my marriage, and my people, that this was all in the past.  I had no idea that something from before I met you would resurface so unexpectedly or I would have told you everything. But here we are now, and Non is my dear friend, and I would like you two to get along. I know it’s a lot to ask, but--”_

_“Your people? What do you mean you deserted your people?”_

_Astra froze._

_“Would you believe me if I told you that I fell from the sky?”_

_“I do not find the humor in the statement.  Why all of the secrets?”_

_Astra let out an exhale, knowing that in order to sound like she was telling the truth she’d have to come up with a damn good lie._

_“I do believe that Astra here is in need of some compassion.  Our people do not exist anymore.  Not since we lost the war with the conquerors, you see.”_

_“Oh.”  Alexandra was taken aback.  Obviously, Astra had to come from somewhere—she wasn’t birthed on the high seas with connection to a land body.  “I’m sorry, Astra.  I didn’t—where?  What people did you belong to?”_

_Non started to stutter out an answer, not sure how much Astra had already told Alexandra, if anything. “We’re—well, you see…you’ve probably never heard of it, as we were absorbed by the larger kr--”_

_“Kazakh.  He means.  We were from an unrecognized Kazakh tribe that angered the Russians.”  Astra interrupted very quickly, hoping Non was catching on here that anything dancing too close to truth wouldn’t be allowed here.  “We come from a very strong people. So you can see, there’s no reason why I would bring up anything about a village that no longer exists.”_

_“Astra, that’s terrible!  I’m so sorry.  I hadn’t considered—again, I’m sorry. I’ve been insensitive.”_

_“Not at all, my darling Alexandra.  You are the last person who should be apologizing.”_

_The redhead paused, trying to discern if this was an okay time to ask further questions, chewing the waxy red paint off of her lower lip. She noticed that on the side, Clarinda seemed completely wrapped up in Non, who was very clearly going to milk his injuries for the attention._

_“Do you miss them?”_

_“What?”  Astra asked, surprised, moving in to put her hands on Alexandra’s waist._

_“I mean—somewhere you grew up is no longer.  Did you have family there? Friends? Do you have any idea where anyone has dispersed to?”_

_Astra thought about it.  Her parents were long dead, and she couldn’t suppose she could say she had friends, since she deserted the Kryptonian military._

_“My parents aren’t still alive, Alexandra.  And now I know where Non is.”  She answered, gesturing towards the man who was not paying any attention to their conversation at all.  “But I did have a sister.”_

_“Did?”  Alexandra asked, immediately choking at the past tense._

_“Oh, no! No.  Not like that Alexandra.  She’s still alive.”_

_“How do you know?”  Came the tentative response, as though the smudged-up first mate was almost afraid to ask._

_“If she weren’t, I would feel it.  I do believe that, I would know innately.”_

_“But, how?”_

_“Because we’re twins.”_

* * *

_1922_

_Just as suspected, there was Allie, inside her apartment having used the key she was given.  However, when Astra quite literally said, “Come over anytime you wish,” she didn’t consider the sight before her._

_Two suitcases were open on the bed, with Allie frantically packing.  One had a mixture of winter clothes and summer dresses, as well as the few clothing items Allie had left of her own behind, all thrown in haphazardly.  The second had some kitchen items, a pile of money that Astra wasn’t even sure the origins of, and judging from the eyelash curler thrown in as well, this was Allies “items of absolute value and necessity” suitcase._

_“We have to get out of here.  We have to.  Eventually, the police will figure out where that man went as his ‘last seen’ location, and then they’re going to question everyone, and eventually--”_

_“Allie, why don’t you sit down for a moment.”_

_Allie was most certainly not sitting down for any number of moments._

_“Can I even say goodbye to my parents? No, that’s nonsense.  They’ll want to know why I’m leaving, and if pressed by the detectives that are probably already outside they’ll sing like canaries in a coalmine.  Very large, rich, pretentious canaries--”_

_“Allie.”  Astra stated more firmly, grabbing both of Allie’s hands, guiding her to sit on the bed.  She waited until the woman looked at her, seeing the tears in her eyes.  She had been crying while packing.  The thought punched Astra in the gut, and then the heart, as she knelt down to eye level._

_“I want you to listen, Al.  Listen carefully.  There are not, nor will there ever be, any police outside.  Understand?  The body is disposed of.”_

_“The body!”  Allie clasped her hands together, looking to be back on the verge of hysterics at the term._

_“Yes, the body, Al, because that’s all it is.  Just a body. The man—the evil, evil man inside of it is gone.  And when I say the body is gone, I mean no living human being will ever, ever, ever find it.  I promise.”  Astra wasn’t counting the wild lions on the African Sahara that she dropped Vin off at as body finders—they were most certainly enjoying their fresh meat gift as they spoke._

_Allie paused for a moment, thinking about just how high Astra had been able to jump.  Further, she leapt so high Allie couldn’t even see how far into the sky she went, or where she came down—and all while carrying a literal body in a bag.  Maybe the woman was telling her the truth.  Maybe she did take care of it._

_When the woman’s shoulders and arms stopped shaking, she continued._

_“If we’re being honest, the kind of people that man worked for aren’t going to call the police.  Ever. If anything, they will come looking for him themselves.  And when they do, we will be ready, and I will handle it.”  And the look in Astra’s eyes promised to Allie that indeed, if there was a further threat, it would be handled._

* * *

Kara sighed, getting Alex’s voicemail for the third time that week. 

To be fair, she most likely wasn’t getting any callbacks because she wasn’t leaving any messages, and they were text chatting here and there—all Kara’s attempt at trying to maintain some sort of contact with her sister, who for the first time in their entire history together, had become unavailable due to not being able to stop kissing her co-worker. 

The blonde Kryptonian had accidentally walked in on the pair kissing no less than four times since the bar, three times at work, and once trying to surprise Alex at her apartment, since at work she was busy feeling up her Aunt. 

Kara shuddered at the though, occupying a very uncomfortable in-between state where she on the one hand wanted nothing but for Alex to be happy, and if any of the memories she had described to her were true, it did sound like Astra needed to be in the picture, romantically, for that to fully happen. 

However, seeing her sister kissing her Aunt was another thing entirely, making her cringe.  It was getting ridiculous. Every time Kara tried to seek out her sister, she did indeed find her, mouth attached to her Aunt’s face in the gym, or in the lab, or with her mouth suctioned onto her neck in the broom closet…

Blonde curls shook around her head, as she shook “no” to herself, thinking about the situation.  Kara walked into her apartment, alone, on what was supposed to be sister night, knowing Alex had probably forgotten in favor of Astra. The superhero rolled her eyes to herself, feeling both selfish and neglected at the same time.  Alex deserved to be happy. She wanted her to be happy—but she also hadn’t seen her sister, who was her best friend, in over a week. Not even a conversation. A few texts here and there.  That’s all.

Kara walked over to the freezer, thinking it wasn’t worth ordering in when it was just going to be her alone, instead zapping a frozen pizza with her eyes, the folding it in half to eat like a giant calzone. 

She was sure she was going to see Alex again.  But when?


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI, I have no beta and my eyelids are barely open RN, so this could be a giant misspelled mess. Drink up, Me Hearties!   
> I will promise the next update won't take forever, since this one feels like it's on the short side :)

* * *

Kara clicked her email tab obsessively, typing away on her laptop at her favorite coffee shop.  She never hesitated to get a jump on the day’s work whenever she was up early, and, the Kryptonian requirement of a mere four hours of sleep generally fed right into that preference. 

However, between scraping through bits and pieces of AP newswires, she was compulsively seeing if Alex or Astra would answer her emails. 

She’d tried everything else.  Literally, everything.  She couldn’t get close to them, as apparently her sister had decided that breathing air was only a human requirement if it came filtered through Astra, the two of them never answered their phones, and their texts were short and vague. 

Kara made a conceited effort to also keep text conversations going with Eliza, and of course was constantly in a text chat with Lena, but those two were also so busy they hardly ever had face time.  The blonde rolled her eyes at the thought.  Somehow, between juggling a full-time job and keeping the entire city safe, she still had free time, and yet everyone else was constantly busy.  The super briefly wondered if this was the universe’s way of saying it was time to get a puppy. 

Or get back into dating.

Right.  Like she was letting that happen.

Maybe the Kryptonian need for only four hours of sleep was more of a curse than a blessing, if she thought about it.

The more she thought about it, the more it was driving her crazy.  And anyway, Kara was more of a thinker than a doer.  So, Kara decided it was time to get up.  Maybe enlist some help.

* * *

_1718_

_After almost a year at port, Astra had more than noticed that Alexandra had begun to change._

_The carefree, willing-to-try-anything-twice, bold woman was becoming…snippy.  Snappy? Curt. And less than affectionate._

_The Captain, if she could still even be called that, thought she was making the right decision.  After Alexandra’s bout with both a severe injury and an addiction, she thought that basing operations on land was the correct thing to do.  And their home port was basically a paradise.  So much warmer and bright than the northern waters they were used to sailing.  Unlimited fresh fruit and fish. A beachfront home, surrounded by palm trees._

_If their first lifetime together had taught her anything, it was that she was not going to risk Alexandra.  Not ever.  Losing her the first time had been so painful that she was only willing to part ways with the earthling after a long, healthy, natural life._

_But here she was, running a pirate fleet of no less than six ships that she had sent out, commanding from the Caribbean beachfront, bringing back riches upon riches of loot with little effort from them and their crew, and here was Alexandra…edgy, drinking every night, not herself._

_The Captain stared out at the ocean, sipping her rum drink.  Normally, she would enjoy the sunset, but now Alexandra wasn’t even outside with her to enjoy it._

_Something had to give._

* * *

_1923_

_Shirley was getting quite good at drying glasses in record time, lining up a string of wet pilsner glasses, and giving each exactly four spins with the rag, leaving no streak behind._

_Not only had the bar expanded to include Astra and Shirley every night, five nights a week, but they also had Ruth, a new bartender, and three men who acted as bar backs on busy nights._

_Then again, now that Astra had added live music, they were all pretty much busy nights.  She was thankful that when Allie finally had her nervous breakdown, it was in private in front of the Dean and not in front of a class._

_Which lead to a sabbatical, during which Allie was supposed to either find a husband, or come back with her supposed ancient civilization that had superhuman powers.  Real, true hard evidence, not just a piece here and there._

_So, of course, Allie told the Dean she would begin travelling immediately, making her way through Europe._

_Instead, she showed up at Astra’s door, showing relief at a promised year-long break for the first time.  Astra was making more money than she even knew what to do with, offering to actually fund Allie’s trek through Europe._

_To which Allie simply laughed, which let Astra know there was no trek through Europe._

_Which both thrilled her and worried her, as since the incident with the man in the back room, Allie had grown anxious, and then disconnected, and the re-connected, and then…well, reckless._

_Carefree._

_Carefree enough to risk her career._

_Not that Astra could really complain, once Allie was all moved in with her, and the bar expanded to take over the vault next door, making them the wildest party on the entire East side._

* * *

“I promise, it’s just harmless monitoring.”  Winn spun around in his chair, knowing full well that if Kara was desperate enough to ask for his help, she was desperate enough to actually follow his plan. 

“It’s not.  It’s wrong, Winn.  Just so, so wrong.” 

“Cell phone spying is barely spying. Pft.  I’ve been doing it to you guys for years now.”

“It’s not—hey!  What do you mean you guys?”  Kara stomped her foot a little harder than she should have, causing a mini-quake to flutter through the ground level of the DEO. 

“I—umm, well.  Weeeeell…Okay yes, you should get the peach cardigan to match the new shoes, and tell Lena yes, Farbagio’s is a terrible spot for brunch.”  Winn leans in closer to Kara to whisper, “Way overpriced.” 

“Winn!”  Kara rolled her eyes.  She shouldn’t have been surprised that working for a top secret government organization meant her communications would be surveilled, but she was unhappy that first, it was Winn, and second, he seemed to be enjoying it. 

“So, are you telling me you don’t want to see what Alex and Astra have been texting about all morning?” 

Kara flashed back to the last time she had walked in on them kissing.  Which was less than three hours ago.  She had thought that overtime, she would become desensitized to the sight.

She was wrong.  Still gross. 

“Fine. Show me.” 

* * *

_1718_

_Astra lay in bed, letting the morning sunlight stream in._

_Alexandra didn’t come home last night._

_Astra played that phrase in her head over and over again, knowing this was becoming more and more of a frequent occurrence.  Now that Non was visiting port regularly to see Clarinda, that meant that the four of them, along with whatever pirates were visiting at the moment, were spending social time together, drinking on the beach, drinking at the bar, dancing with Clarinda’s wenches, and it seemed that Alexandra had built up quite the tolerance to the local rum._

_Or, at least, she thought she had.  Most of these nights where Astra woke up alone it was because Alexandra had chosen to partake in the drink well into the morning, consuming until the sickness took over, vomiting wherever she was, then either resuming activities as though nothing happened or passing out wherever Clarinda sought fit to deposit her before disappearing with Non for the evening._

_There was a time when Astra would have preferred to not wake up at all than to wake up without Alexandra, the coldness of death a preferable feeling.  And now, she was becoming accustomed to it._

_The Captain had stopped trying to get Alex to retire for the evening once the drunkenness had settled in, and in general, stayed back and let her run her course.  It was far from ideal, but what else was she to do? It wasn’t as if Alexandra was her prisoner._

_And yet, since she had made the decision for both of them that they were no longer in the pillaging and plundering business, that’s exactly how she felt._

_“Ships to port!”  She heard the coastal look-out shout.  “Ships to port!  Ships to port!” Astra let out a sigh before rolling over, contemplating the start of the day.  Usually, when one of their ships returned to show off their spoils and cut Astra and Alexandra their percentage for sponsoring the ship, they both greeted the crew upon disembarking.  However, since Astra didn’t know where Alexandra ultimately passed out the night before, Astra rose, preparing to greet whichever ship was in dock by herself._

* * *

_1923_

_This was the most fun Allie had ever had.  Ever, ever, in her entire life.  More than she thought possible._

_She learned to dance, always selecting dresses that allowed for room for her legs to go wild, late into the night hours, usually convincing Astra to take a break here and there to dance with her, preferring the fun, upbeat flying trumpet solos, but sometimes acquiescing to Astra’s need for a slow dance, at least once a night, letting a slow saxophone take over her movements as she held her love’s shoulders._

_She loved dancing.  She loved the smuggled in Canadian liquors and making up new drinks with them. She loved sleeping in all morning in Astra’s bed, only leaving the apartment when they wanted a walk in the fresh city air or to sample one of the new restaurants sprouting up around midtown, with a new influx of immigrants bringing new foods, new shops, new things for Allie to explore with enthusiasm._

_Allie loved their friends, the regulars at the bar who somehow understood her better than the women at the college she had worked with for years, or even more so than her family, whom she had been avoiding phone calls and postcards from as much as possible, keeping up the sabbatical rouse.  She loved the women who came in the door immediately putting on ties as soon as the door closed and the few men who ventured into the back to experiment with lipstick, and thought about how people were only truly beautiful when allowed to be themselves._

_And she loved Astra.  That much was the first hit of clarity she’d accepted in this whole time, that as much as she loved everything, she would drop it all in a moment’s notice and travel cross-country by train with nothing in her pockets if Astra asked her to.  She knew Astra saw her staring at her from across the room as she worked, pretending to smile at the customers, but then throwing Allie a wink to let her know she was really smiling so her red-headed love could see it across the way._

_It was those nights that she knew Astra would leave the others to finish clean up, racing Allie up the stairs, sometimes barely making it inside their home before attaching herself to the woman’s neck, and un-attaching whatever was holding together their attire. Which always led to the next thing that Allie loved, which was waking up in the nude, with a warm body pressed to her front.  It was a feeling she would never grow tired of, she promised herself, even if one day they were old and wrinkly and living on mashed peas, she would still want to wake with Astra in this way._

_So, when Allie had settled in for what was promising to be another stellar Friday night of live music and dancing, she had most certainly not expected a new group to push their way in past the bouncer, having been given the new password by Lord-knows-who, only to see Dean Fournier removing her coat, fluffing the fur collar lightly before handing it to the coat attendant, before turning back to chat with the ladies whom she accompanied._

* * *

Kara felt terrible, scanning the text messages that Winn had routed to her email in word document format for easy reading.  She felt like she was severely violating the trust of both her sister and her aunt. 

But, on a deeper level, she felt relieved.  Once she saw what they were talking about, she understood why they were constantly too busy for board games and burritos.  If she were spending all day stealing kisses from someone, and spending all night trying to figure out how to alter her DNA to keep remembering her past lives in the future, she supposed she’d be all tapped out of time as well.  The youngest Super was learning to take it much, much less personally now that she knew what was going on.

Which made her feel guilty all over again, for spying to make herself feel better. 

But really, the more she thought about it, the more she could make it up to them, hopefully before telling them that she had their phones hacked. 

If her sister wanted to make sure she could remember her past lives, she was going to make darn sure that’s what would happen.  Even if that decision was partially selfish—as she didn’t like the idea that Alex would die, and be re-born, within Kara’s lifetime, and wouldn’t know who Kara was. 

Truly, the idea itself was unbearable. 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

_1718_

_Anyone who was anyone knew that when a ship came into port after months at sea, the last thing one does is go anywhere near those disembarking._

_Aside from sloppy pirate sailors working to get their land legs back, there was the matter than none aboard had the luxury of a bath for months, hair matting into dreadlocks for some, hanging unfitted knots for others.  They had been eating fish, hardtack, and salt preserved foods, making their breath rank, offending even those who dug outhouses for a living._

_And yet, every time, Clarinda was more than happy to bounce over to greet them, with clearly more of a nose of steel than even Astra managed.  The Captain wondered if she was this nasty during her stops on port.  No matter, she knew all Clarinda saw looking at the dirty men were the image of gold coins in her eyes—cleanliness could be given to them after they agreed to a price._

_But first, there was the matter of booty._

_Astra was presented with her spoils, chest after chest of jewels, gold coins from a variety of continents, all to be divided up into percentages for the crew, the Captain of the ship, and Captain Astra herself for lending out said ship, supplies, and probably locations of easy targets to plunder.  At this point in time, Astra had more money than she knew what to do with, merely selecting a chest or two out of each returning ship for show._

_One of the chests from this recent trip out didn’t match the others, intriguing the hungover and lonely pirate woman.  She’d seen so many riches over the last few years that the abundance of wealth didn’t even phase her.  But, this chest was different than the others whose clear function it was to possess one’s most valuable items.  It was plain wood, square, the same size as the other chests, but lacking in the ornate iron workings that often covered the chests, making them more difficult to smash open.  While this one did have a lock on it, it wasn’t one nearly as difficult to pick or break as on a traditional chest._

_It was almost as though the owner didn’t care if the box was opened._

_“That one.”  Astra pointed to it immediately.  “I’ll take that one.  The rest can go to the shipsmen.”_

* * *

_1923_

_Allie froze, seeing the dean coming into the club.  Her club.  Well, her and Astra’s club.  The club where she was friends with everyone and most certainly would be expected to dance, bring out drinks to the tables, and in general be her usual friendly self._

_And there was no way any of that would happen without the dean seeing her.  She was so well known in the establishment that there was no way someone wouldn’t shout her name from across the room to wave her over and have a chat._

_In her girlfriend’s bar.  Her homosexual lover’s illegal speakeasy, where they smuggled in contraband, cross-dressed against city code, and sometimes also gambled in the wee hours of the morning._

_Damn._

_She would have to make a decision, and quickly.  She locked eyes with Astra, motioning with her head towards the back room._

_The room that Allie had only stopped referring to in her head as the “murder room” when she moved in with Astra._

_Oh, there was also the slight possibility that the Dean would find out about the murder, now that she was here, in addition to the homosexual-drinking-cross-dressing-merriment._

_Alex shook her head, sighing loudly. She was quickly realizing the list of crimes they hadn’t committed was shorter than trying to name all those they had, once she incorporated the tax evasion and money laundering._

_Astra went to the back, resting her backside on the table without fully sitting, waiting quietly for whatever Allie wanted to speak with her about._

_“Dean Fournier is here.”  Allie said, looking at Astra, hoping she would know what to do._

_Astra, who somehow removed a dead body without anyone tracing anything back to the club.  Astra, who started the largest and, in her biased opinion, the most fun club for homosexuals in the city._

_Astra, whose skin was impervious to harm, who could jump higher than a jungle cat, who was impossibly strong, sometimes picking Allie up bridal-style for no good reason other than to show off her strength._

_Allie had to admit, the woman’s peculiarities generally worked to her advantage._

_So now, she stayed silent, hoping that Astra had the answers, because Astra always had the answers._

_What she got in return was a smirk._

_“Well then, I think we should make sure the dean has a good time.”_

_“What?”  Allie had thought for sure Astra would have some sort of stellar hiding place for her, like when they planned to hide the booze if there was ever a raid._

_“Allie, did she know the password?”_

_“Yes. That’s how she got in.  Obviously.”  Allie scoffed, as though the bouncer wasn’t the best in the city.  After their brush with the more unsavory side of the city, nobody was getting into that club who didn’t belong, Astra saw to it._

_“Good.  Then she’s one of us, wouldn’t you suppose?”  Astra said, giving Allie a wink, then walking out past her to continue preparing for the evening rush._

_“I-oh.”  Allie said to herself, processing the information in her head._

* * *

_1718_

_It was clear to the Captain when she opened the chest that those who put the items inside did not consider them of value.  And Astra had to agree, the Kryptonian items she found weren’t of particular value._

_But why keep them at all?_

_Astra looked inside the chest, recognizing the large, round disk as the seal that was originally on her spaceship from when she landed on earth, and chose not to return to said ship to go home, as she was initially instructed to do. Next to it was the navigation rock from her vessel, when she was simply a runaway from the military._

_And now she had graduated into piracy._

_She smirked at the thought, thinking her father, in a twisted, understanding way, might actually be proud._

_Shaking her head, she shut the lid on the chest.  She knew that touching any of the times inside the chest would cause them to react, recognizing Krytonian fingerprints, and they would begin to illuminate and function.   That was the last thing she needed._

_She only hoped that like so much treasure she had come across where the carriers had no concern for the items’ origin that this chest fell under that category.  But it would only be a matter of time before someone showed up and did figure out what the items were.  If she or Non ever accidentally handled any of the items—well, they were programed to recognize her, sending out a help beacon back to Krypton, considering how long it had been since she activated a ship seal._

_No, these items, as much as they made her smile fondly, thinking of how far she’d come, were only going to bring danger.  She had to get rid of them._

_“Did you already have breakfast brought in, or did you go right into calculating the spoils?”  Astra jumped at Alexandra’s voice behind her, turning around to see a woman who was very much experiencing the vengeance of rum poison making its way out of the body, a slow internal sanding away of water and good will._

_“I—no, I haven’t had breakfast yet.”  Astra paused, looking down at the chest, then back up at Alexandra._

_Maybe this was just what they needed.  She swallowed, feeling suddenly as though any additional rejection from Alexandra would be more than she could bear._

_“Perhaps we can dine together this morning?”_

* * *

Astra pulled Alex back into her, using her teeth to tug at Alex’s bottom lip.

And just like that, Alex was back to kissing Astra in her kitchen, strong hands moving around from her waist to the small of her back.  To be fair, Alex did snap back out of it, but it took a good half a minute to detangle her tongue, and then her hands from long, wavy locks.

“We’re doing something with Kara.  It’s been a long, long time.”  Alex went to grab her phone. 

“Has it really been that long?  Hmmm? Didn’t we just have dinner with her last night?”  Astra began drumming her fingers on the countertop expectantly. 

“No, we had dinner with everyone last night.  Which means we barely got to talk. I mean it, Astra.  We can’t keep only seeing people when it’s a group outing. And I do miss my sister.” 

The general crossed her arms and huffed, causing Alex to smile in victory.  “That’s what I thought.” 

It wasn’t that Alex didn’t want to see her sister, she did.  And her mother, one day as well…but it turned out that Kryptonians, or at least the one Alex was reunited with, have incredibly high sex drives, more so than Alex’s past memories even indicated.  But then when Astra was here, in her home, in her arms…she found it increasingly difficult to say “no” in favor of social plans. 

When Astra was over, it was like all of her former deaths came back to haunt her, and she suddenly felt the need to make up for lost time.  Over and over and over again, sometimes on the couch, in the shower, of course in her bed, one time on the dining room table—Alex grinned remembering that one.  Plus, it didn’t help that during the day they were researching by over-questioning the A.I. of Astra’s sister to see if there was a way for Alex to retain these memories in her next life, and, well—Alex knew she’d been preoccupied. 

But she did still miss Kara and was wondering what she had been up to recently, so she unlocked her phone with her thumbprint, going right to speed dial #1. 

Astra wasted no time coming up from behind, wrapping her arms round Alex’s waist, nuzzling the woman’s neck.  Alex squealed for just a moment, before snapping herself back to reality once Kara answered. 

“Hey, Kara!  We wanted to see if you were up for coming over tonight? Yeah. Nothing big. Just games, movies, snacks, whatever.  Quiet night in to maybe catch up?”  The end of that sentence went up in pitch, as Astra continued her assault on Alex’s neck, causing the agent to be thrown off. 

“Oh.  You do?”  Alex swatted at Astra, holding her finger up in front of the older woman’s face as a warning. 

Astra ignored the warning finger, reattaching herself to Alex’s neck, nibbling gently.

“Okay.  No big deal.  Maybe some other time them? Soon, I mean.  Sometime soon? Yeah, of course.  No, no.  Go. We’ll catch up another night.”  Alex rushed at the end, before Astra could make her voice squeak anymore.

“So.  The little one can’t be bothered to spend the night in with her big sister and even bigger aunt?”  It came out sadder than she had intended, but the tone was true to what she felt.  As much as she liked ruffling Alex’s feathers, she was actually hoping Kara would stop by. 

“She said she had plans, big night out I guess with Lena.”  Alex shrugged. 

“Well, then.  I can think of a few ways to spend a night in when there is no baby sister or niece present.”  Astra’s eye twinkled for a split second, before going right back to Alex’s neck, earning her a chuckle, and this time, no resistance. 

* * *

“I’m sorry, Alex.  It’s just that Lena and I are already dressed and ready to head out, and she pre-paid for everything, so there’s that.  Of course, soon.  Okay, another night this week.  I promise.” 

Kara hung up her phone, realizing she didn’t have anywhere to put it while in the Supersuit.  Lena took pity on the woman, putting the phone in her purse for her. 

“I feel like I should warn you, this is going to be a lot colder than you’re used to.”  Kara said, looking at Lena, who was still in her dress from work, wearing a lighter jacket. 

“Oh, right.  I should probably put on winter gear.  Especially if I’m flying up with you.  I’ll just—”  Lena pointed to her walk-in closet, going to change. 

“So, this fortress of solitude, as you call it—”  Lena pops her head back out around the corner to look at Kara, bare shoulders showing that the woman was at least topless, causing Kara to blush and look away, “you really believe this holds the key to letting Alex keep her memories?” 

“Well, it’s worth a shot.  I know they’ve both already exhausted the information from my Mom’s program.  Maybe I can get more out of my Dad.”

“Interesting.”   Lena came back out, sporting one of her favorite outfits to ski in, complete with heavy winter coat and a scarf.  Kara nodded her approval.  “Let’s say we do find out how to let Alex keep her memories.  What are the chances we’d know how to unlock them. You know. For others.”

Kara stared at Lena for a moment, unsure of how to answer that. 

She couldn’t blame the woman.  If she had just found out that she’d lived multiple lives, she’d want the memories of the previous ones too.  But if there was a way—the last thing Kara would want is to create some product that brings back memories that one would have to pay an astronomical amount of money for. And then, there’s the issue of people who don’t want to know, who would prefer to remain blissfully unaware. 

What would the ramifications be of someone finding out in a past life they were a murderer? Would they be able to overcome the guilt?

What if they were murdered by another? Would they change their life purpose into seeking revenge?  Of course she trusted Lena not to create a product around whatever the solution was, if they did find one. But others, namely people related to Lena, that was a different story.

“One step at a time.”  Kara said, swallowing.  “Let’s cross that bridge if we get to it.” 

“You mean when.”  Lena answered, bringing Kara out to the balcony, wrapping her arms around the Super so they could fly away.  At this point, Kara had flown Lena around so much that they had a regular routine around it. 

“We’ll see.”  Kara answered, forcing a smile.  Once Lena wrapped her arms securely around her neck, it turned into a real one.

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoooousekeeping: first, I haven't been reading stories much. With my life right now, it's a choice between writing here and there and reading here and there, but hopefully things will clear up in the coming weeks and I can catch up on all the awesome SG updates from the last month! 
> 
> *For people who cross-read with fanfic.net--I'm leaving my old OuAT and Orphan Black stories over there, but anything newer (Carmilla, SG, LoT) will be only over here, mostly because these sites are differently formatted and I'm too lazy to cross post. Sometimes, sloppy site-hopping is necessary lol.

* * *

 

_1923_

_“You absolutely cannot.  You cannot go over there.  I’m fine with loafing about in the background here if I must, trusting that if she does notice me, she won’t draw attention to it.  But you—you just have to go and stir things up? Don’t you?” Allie’s eyes were popping out of her head, as Astra held the drink tray, offering to take the order for the Dean’s table over herself._

_“Allie, darling, there is no need to worry.  She doesn’t know who I am, now does she? Unless you happened to mention your homosexual lover during your last curriculum review, in which case, I am honored to play such a large role in your career, but we both know that’s not true.”_

_“It doesn’t matter!  You’re only encouraging her to stay!”_

_Astra smirked.  “Or, encouraging her to get drunk.”  She was surprised that Allie hadn’t noticed that these four sidecars in particular contained twice the imported cognac a normal house cocktail contained._

_“Ohh this is not good.”  Allie buried her face in her hands as Astra carried the tray over to the Dean and her friends._

_“Welcome, new friends. I don’t believe I’ve seen your faces around here before.”  Allie watched as Astra had the entire table blushing at first introduction, because of course she did, it was Astra’s sway over people._

_“We’ve been meaning to come down for some time.  We’ve heard this is the place to be!”  One of the women sitting with the Dean responded cheerfully, while the other three looked down with small smiles.  Astra then identified this woman as the ring leader, who probably dragged in the other four. Or she was just the least shy._

_Either way, Astra was going to get to the bottom of it._

_“Have you now!  I hope you’ve heard just enough to be intrigued, and not enough that our secrets are airing out in the streets like wet sheets.”  Even the Dean couldn’t help but laugh at Astra’s charm._

_“Well, we heard that this bar serves real giggle-water, not that basement brewed brown water that’ll make you go blind like other places. And with the prettiest barkeep on this side of the city.” Astra smiled.  She was no stranger to being hit on at work, but this woman laid it on like a fast frosting, leaning closer to Astra although not touching her._

_“I see, a group of ladies with excellent taste. Anything else you’ve heard?”  Astra thought better than to bait the woman.  Allie was stressed enough this evening. And the band hadn’t even taken the stage yet._

_The Dean finally spoke up at that one.  “We were just hoping for a fun night.  Music. Maybe relax, light a gasper, have a drink.  You know.  In a place that doesn’t judge.”  The delicate way the dean spoke that last phrase is finally what earned her right to not have Astra watching them at their own table all night._

_So it did seem the Dean was aware of exactly where she was.  In spite of the rather large wedding ring shining on her left hand._

_“Then I hope to provide just that.  If you ladies need anything, anything at all, please let me know.”_

_“Oh, we certainly will.”  The flirt answered for the Dean, throwing in a wink before lighting a cigarette._

_Astra took the long way back to Allie, stopping at a few other tables of regulars, seeing the band starting to file in.  She had told them when booking them for the evening that she wanted them to go crazy.  Play like wild, absolute bananas—and if they felt like doing so in a bit of drag, it would be all the more fun.  A good chunk of the regular patrons brought items of the opposite sex with them, putting it on once inside, so Astra saw no harm in encouraging the behavior._

_The were noisy with each other as they took their spots, some already flushed from drinking away their pre-show jitters.  She hoped Allie would still dance.  It was when she was the happiest, and everyone knew she was quite good at it, some folks showing up at midnight just to watch her blow the others clear away once she got warmed up._

_But when Astra finally returned to the bar, Allie was nowhere to be found._

_“Shirley, where’s—”_

_Shirley responded by holding up a hand. “She said she’ll be back.  That’s all I know.” The burly women then went back to drying the glasses with a rag.  Astra let out a sigh._

* * *

_1718_

_Astra had an uneasy feeling, as her prime ship, nicknamed “The Cry of Lilith”, sped farther and farther away from shore._

_With her, the crew, and Alexandra all aboard._

_Farther away from the comforts of regular meals, fresh water—not even from a barrel, daily baths, their friends._

_Astra had intended on just bringing up the idea of taking a voyage together at breakfast.  Just a talk, an eventuality of leaving shore to bury her Kryptonian treasure on some remote island, hopefully to be never found again as far as Astra was concerned._

_Alexandra hadn’t even bothered to finish her tea before speeding off to pack._

_And now, here they were, a mere six hours later, after the fastest ship prep that Astra had ever seen._

_Alexandra, on the other hand, was beaming on a level Astra hadn’t seen in well over a year.  Even their goodbyes to Clarinda and Non, their dearest friends who had truly grown as close to Alexandra as they were to the Captain, Alexandra sound more like she was wishing them a happy birthday more than bidding farewell.  It wasn’t lost on the Captain that her lover had taken the goodbye as an opportunity to stock up on several weeks worth of Clarinda’s special cigars, followed by making sure the galley had a stock of snacks._

_The Captain watched as Alexandra divvied up the chores amongst the crew with expertise, striking a fine balance between choosing chores based on talent and making sure nobody would be stuck ongoing with something they truly despised.  The redhead then retired from the meeting to the bow, taking in the fresh breeze of the sea, enjoying the saltiness of the air._

_She looked happy. She looked free.  She had on her own version of a Captain’s hat, with a long, dramatic faux peacock feather, hair beneath long and waving in the wind._

_Astra knew then she had made the right choice, taking a few more moments simply to take in the beauty that was Alexandra in her element._

* * *

It was a mere hour and a half since her conversation with Kara that there was a loud knock at the door. 

It was a particular knock, the excited knock of a young blonde Kryptonian, who always used the same rapid pattern whenever she arrived at Alex’s. 

Only, this time, her arrival was both unannounced and unexpected, and things had just begun progressing with Astra on the couch.  Alex popped up upon hearing the knock, looking for her bra. 

“Just a minute!”  She yelled in the general direction of the door.  Astra sat up on the couch, making no move to find her own bra or shirt.

Alex narrowed her eyes, finding her bra having been thrown on top of the television, starting to look for her shirt, hoping it was high-cut enough to cover the purple marks she felt swelling on her neck and below her collar bone. 

“You might want to put something on there.”  Astra simply shrugged.  Apparently, the General’s strategy was going to be to shock away whomever dared disturb them at home.

“Please.  Please throw on a shirt. It sounds like Kara.”  Alex found her shirt, stumbling through turning it right-side in.  Astra simply cocked an eyebrow, making a face that made it known she was fine with scaring her niece away.  The redhead rolled her eyes.  Of course this is when Astra would be difficult.  Alex grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch, wrapping it around Astra, who pouted at the solution. 

“There.”  Satisfied that Astra would stay bundled up, she opened it, not realizing that on the other side was the twenty-something equivalent of a shaken-up bottle of champagne. 

Kara all but burst in.

“I’m so glad you’re home.  You’re never going to guess what I found out.  It’s amazing, really.  It is a-may-zing! Oh, and Lena knows so, you know, be cool.  But you!  You two!”  Kara burst in, still in her Super-suit, pulling Lena in by the hand. The blonde was so excited she hadn’t even bothered to change.

She stopped in the middle of the living area, seeing her aunt on the couch, wearing a blanket around her shoulders. 

“Oh.  Aunt Astra.  Are you sick?” 

“You do look flushed.  Huh.  I didn’t know Kryptonians could get sick.  I supposed you could, but it would have to be a terrible flu for you to feel it as a mild cold.  Fascinating.”  Lena cocked her head to the side, running the implications of a sick Kryptonian through her head. 

“I am not sick.  Fine, if you do not like my blanket I will take it--”

“No!”  Alex said, diving at the blanket, keeping it securely wrapped around her mate.  “No need to be rash.  I really think you should keep your house-blanket on, dear.  She likes to wear the blanket. Says it’s soft and fuzzy.  Kryptonians, am I right?” The agent nodded at Lena, hoping in her head over and over again that Astra could just play along for a few minutes. 

“Right. House-blanket.  That’s—whatever.  So…Lena and I went on, um, a little trip…to talk to my Dad’s A.I. programming.  It actually turns out the Fortress of Solitude has a bunch of A.I. programs from my family. And wow did we learn a lot.” 

* * *

_1923_

_The band was hitting every note just right, trumpet blaring over a roving clarinet, igniting a brass battle that have everyone out of their seats from the first song._

_Their regulars and some new folks were all up dancing, even the table of newcomers that included the Dean._

_In the mist of late-night joy and liquor, Astra’s frown was markedly out of place.  Over and hour, and Allie was nowhere to be found._

_To make matters worse, a pack of men in unusually expensive looking suits somehow made their way inside, and as far as Astra could tell, they had never seen a queer gathering before, somehow very clearly having stumbled upon the password to the wrong kind of bar for them._

_It was too bad, because the dancing mob had morphed into a circle, effectively creating a dance-off, with one woman jumping in wildly moving, arms flailing in good fun, dancing off against a slender, medium-height man that Astra had never seen in the club before.  Whoever he was, he was quite good, seeming to have energy and stamina that said he did this regularly, throwing in spins that garnered a cheer from the crowd, before letting two people take their places, putting in just as much energy as the first two dancers. Everyone was up on their feet, even the Dean, whom Allie had previously described on at least a hundred occasions as “uptight”._

_The dancing man struck Astra as strange, as a moustache was no longer in style, especially not one so thick, and most men chose to take off their hats once inside._

_Warning bells going off on Astra’s head, she moved closer, trying to get a better look at the man, pretending to dance, using her moves as a way to move around the drunkards and get closer._

_And closer.  And the band started yet another song, while the dancing didn’t show any signs of letting up.  Astra stalked the man, until she was right next to him, waiting for him to turn and look at her._

_Once he did so, Astra found herself locked onto Allie’s light eyes, that had been cleverly hidden under the brim of the cap all along._

* * *

_1718_

_It began as any other voyage, with Astra setting course towards a cluster of abandoned islands that nobody ever bothered to set down roots on because there were no known fresh water sources.  The trip should be short, about a week each way, with supplies on board for a trip twice as long for emergencies._

_On the first day, Alexandra bounded out of bed, having slept like a baby, even curling up in Astra’s arms like she used to.  For some reason, early morning starts were always on Alexandra’s list when out at sea, no matter how much was drunk or smoked the evening before.  She liked to be up with those assigned morning chores, checking the shoreline for proper direction herself._

_Astra, however, was still getting her sea legs.  It was always a bit of a shock to her body, going from land to ship.  It usually took a day to adjust.  But it had been so long that she didn’t completely have her balance in choppy waters, deciding that he best bet at balance would be to stick to the walls, and then once above deck, to the sides, with an arm out for balance like a baby just learning to walk._

_“Morning, Captain!”  “Morning!” “Aye, Captain! Lovely day out!”_

_The crew greeted Astra one by one, the smile returning to her face as she fought to re-learn her balance.  It was good to wake up to a crew’s greeting, and there was no other scent in the world like waking up to the smell of the fresh ocean._

_Maybe she could convince Alexandra to fish with her off the starboard side, like they used to when they first embarked together._

_Or, more technically, when Astra kidnapped her.  However one wanted to look at it._

_The Kryptonian treasure was securely locked in the Captain’s quarters.  The crew looked at them suspiciously, not accustomed to bringing treasure to places, usually stealing it to bring back with them.  When the Captain told them it was nothing of monetary value, simply family heirlooms, and that they would each be paid wages for the voyage instead of just hoping to find another ship to rob, they all quickly agreed._

_The promise of gold without having to put up a fight? It didn’t take much convincing after that at all._

_“Ahoy, Captain!”  Alexandra shouted from the crow’s nest._

_Astra almost forgot where she was, ready to leap up and fly to the nest, before catching herself, climbing up the earthling way.  She sighed as she did so.  She had been so comfortable having Non around that the two sometimes went on late night flights, her friend convincing her nobody would be up to see them after midnight, and if they were—well, nobody would believe they saw two flying pirate captains anyway._

_“You seem to be having a lively morning, love.”  Astra settled in behind Allie, holding her waist, as Allie held out the looking glass for Astra to take a peek._

_“Right on course.”  Astra smiled in agreement._

_“Well, the crew has the ship in top shape.  Let’s cast off a line.  You know I never lose my taste for fresh fish from out deep.  Much better than what we had closer to shore.”_

_“Agreed.”  Alexandra turned around to give Astra a kiss, before moving to climb down._

* * *

“I know this is going to sound unbelievable, but Lena was there with me and heard it too.  She can vouch for everything.” 

“Everything.”  Lena nodded in agreement.

“I should have taken video, because you’re not going to agree me.  Or we can fly you there if you need to hear it for yourself.” 

“We can do that.”  Lena added, still nodding. 

Astra sighed, pulling the blanket tighter around her body. 

“Kara, you can tell me, and I will believe you. I promise.”  Alex said sincerely, which was really more about trying to get Kara to just spit it out. 

“Okay. So Kryptonians—the long lives, the flying, the impermeable skin—we weren’t always this way.”  Kara paused, letting Lena continue nodding in agreement, like Kara’s personal bobble-headed sidekick.  “We started off basically human, but the atmosphere on Krypton facilitated evolution much faster than it can happen on earth, causing our DNA to unlock our abilities and a much faster rate.” 

“What are you saying here, Kara?”  Alex wasn’t sure where this was going, but she was sure it had something to do with her newfound memories. 

“Well, the fact that you can remember your past lives actually may have jogged your DNA towards its Kryptonian future. Not that you’re just Kryptonian now, because obviously we’d know by now if you could fly or had heat vision. Ugh, it goes off whenever in the beginning and you burn _a lot_ of stuff like your favor toys--”

Lena narrowed her eyes, “Kara. Focus.” 

“Right.”  Kara snapped back.  “You may have experienced a DNA boost from the poison.  Apparently there is record that when Kryptonians started to morph into more Super-stature, that they went from reincarnating to instead just living one really long life to retain the memories of the life lessons, instead of starting over and over again blindly.”

“Let’s go.”  Alex bit the side of her own cheek, completely believing Kara, but not believing her, because she was a scientist who worked with biological material damn near every day, and not once had she thought of scanning her own DNA for irregularities. 

Of course.  It was so obvious once someone said it out loud. 

“Where are we--”

“Shirt, Astra.  You need a shirt.” 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note #1: maybe the 22 chapter counter is correct. Maybe it's not, because again I have a baby chapter that I'm posting because it's been sitting here for awhile and I haven't made it longer, so--might as well. We'll see. 
> 
> Note #2: And we should all repeat this together--This author does not kill gay characters. This author does not kill gay characters. Promise. 
> 
> Hugs and Kisses.

* * *

_1718_

_Astra hid behind a side row of barrels below deck, checking her ammo stash in her satchel._

_Down to three balls, including the one in the chamber of the blunderbuss, ready to fire.  She knew she had the upper hand, as she could float slightly above ground—not enough so that anyone would notice if they saw her, but just enough so that she wouldn’t have to worry about footsteps giving away her position._

_Her opponents clearly didn’t have such an advantage, as she heard them clear as day stomping above the entrance to the galley and then down the creaky wooden steps.  The Captain smirked, feeling her victory before it—_

_*BOOM. BOOM*_

_It seemed Astra was not the only one hiding below deck, hearing someone else pop out from the barrels on the other side of the room, followed by two shots fired, followed by groaning._

_Looking through the space between the barrels without giving away per position, still hoovering, Astra saw that Alexandra had taken down the two men, smiling a little too much for what was coming._

_“Sorry boys, you’re out!”_

_“Oh, come on!  That wasn’t even fair.  You must have had a head start.” Duncan, the lead sail-master complained, trying to clean the coal-spot from the rounds off his shirt._

_“You most certainly had the head start there, it’s a shame you hadn’t thought of such a good hiding spot and found it first.  You two are out, which I believe means that I win!”  The Captain heard more than saw Alexandra pull out her personal bottle of rum, pulling the cork out with her teeth before taking a swig._

_Astra’s smirk grew into a full smile, letting Alexandra have one minute of smugness over the men before showing her who the true captain was._

_She had to admit, when Alexandra suggested a ship game, using crumbled coat bits as fodder for the blunderbusses to mark a “down” sportsman, Astra had hesitated.  Still, it was a nice day, and a game seemed like a way to pass the time before they hit their island destination the next day._

_“I will gladly take the title of winner, gentlemen.”_

_Astra popped up over her pile of barrels, shooting her blunt, marking coal-shot expertly into Alexandra’s arm._

_“I’m sure you would, love.  But I believe that title belongs to me.  For the third time today!”_

* * *

_1923_

_Astra stared back at the sparkling light eyes staring at her from under the brim, before Allie gave her a wink, dragging her into the center of the circle, finding herself being twirled around, letting the disguised Allie and clarinet solo dictate her moves._

_Amidst the threat of outsiders seeming to watch her from every direction, she couldn’t help but laugh at the absolute absurdity of it all.  If tonight was the night they were going to be outed in some way, she was at least going down swinging, letting Allie’s expert moves swing her from side to side, dancing as the two of them had now done every weekend for a year, to the enjoyment of the rather loud, stomping crowd._

_It was so noisy it was the perfect time for Astra to pull Allie closer, signaling that the dance-off would have to cool off in favor of paired dancers.  It wasn’t long before those surrounding followed suit, everyone on the floor grabbing someone close by, regardless of gender, or more accurately, gender as-shown for the evening._

_“We seem to have more visitors this evening.”  Astra said, not wishing to alarm Allie into a heightened state more than she most likely already was._

_Allie nodded, keeping her head down, lest someone notice the falseness of her facial hair.  “I saw them. What did the Dean say to you?”_

_Astra kept her close, even though the song was still face paced, swaying them up and down before realizing that even when Allie chose this presentation, she was still leading.  “Not much.  But I do think she’s genuinely here for the same reasons as everyone else. Well, everyone minus the zoot suits.”_

_“I just don’t think so, Astra.  It doesn’t make sense. At the college—well, we all know who’s this way and who’s isn’t.  Not that she’d ever announce it, nor would she ever pry.  Even when she was telling me to find a husband, she never asked.  It’s—I don’t know how to explain it.  But that feeling you get when someone of the same persuasion is speaking to you?  I never got that with her.  Not to mention I’ve met her husband at many functions, and they seem genuinely happy together.”_

_Astra sighed, thinking about her own husband, no doubt hopping from planet to planet, seeking to add to his list of women.  The last she saw of him, his rule was if he had two arms, then he had room for three dates.  Then she remembered just how different Allie was from the last time they were together, and that this Allie didn’t know she had a husband._

_“They could be happy together and still not be completely in union as husband and wife. There are a lot of variables that could be involved.”_

_“How? How on earth could you expect me to believe that they could be married as—what, just friends? Who does that?”  Astra actually laughed out loud at the irony._

_“I will keep prying then, my dear.”  Astra peeked over Allie’s shoulder, seeing their male visitors all move in a group to the men’s room.  “Since you’re dressed for the occasion, why don’t you keep an eye on our other company.  Hmmm?”_

_“By…myself?”  Allie pulled back slightly to look at Astra as though she had just suggested they run naked through the streets._

_“Well, I can’t very well go into the men’s room in this dress, can I? And I would be ever so grateful—Alexander.”  Astra winked before she began peppering Allie’s neck with kisses, swearing she could feel the eyeroll through her pulse._

_“Fine. But I don’t like the looks of them, so I’m taking the pistol.”_

* * *

Five times. 

She had drawn from her own blood and saliva totally five DNA tests.  Five full sequence mappings, all laid out on the long table in front of her.  Of course, it all confirmed what she was told the night before: that somehow the poison hit hadn’t just jogged repressed memories, they had done so by unlocking part of her DNA code. 

Of course, it made sense to Alex.  It was the only way to explain what ended up not being hallucinations, but instead the unlocking of an ability to recall very real memories, confirmed to all be true by Astra and the A.I. programs from Krypton.  But a theoretical discussion and seeing her own DNA, different from what a human’s should map out to, but not quite the way a Kryptonian’s would map…Alex contemplated contacting area labs to see if she could borrow their DNA sequencer, but realized quickly that even with an FBI/government agency cover story it would seem suspicious. 

Then, there would be the matter of explaining the results, should anyone at an external lab happen upon then during the long mapping process.  Alex decided to just trust the in-house sequencer and give plausibility to the theory that her DNA was altered. 

The problem was—because this was a sequencing with a type of gapping that Alex had never seen before, she didn’t really know what to make of the alteration. Would this have side effects on her life? Did it elongate or shorten her lifespan in general? Could she develop some sort of illness that had will have never existed on earth before? Would her new genes be passed down to her children, if she chose to have biological children? 

Alex shook her head.  She and Astra were definitely not up to that conversation yet. 

She knew she was looking at a major alteration, but she just wasn’t sure what it all meant. 

Further, the discovery made Alex _tired_.  She physically couldn’t handle recalling too many past lives too quickly, practically throwing herself at Astra sexually anytime her lover attempted to start too in-depth of a conversation about how many times they’d looped around each other these last few hundred years.  It was too much information.  She had one brain.  I it wasn’t meant to hold six lives.

Alex felt like someone was trying to shove a mattress into a car trunk, only the trunk was her brain with no more room, especially not with having to try to understand all of the potentials of DNA evolution. 

* * *

_1718_

_The island came into view, with the Captain steering the ship carefully, so as not to get too close to the shallow waters.  The crew loaded themselves, along with the mysterious “treasure” that Astra wouldn’t let anyone see or touch, for them to bury on the island, leaving it behind once and for all._

_The crew, of course, was merely agreeing to play along, completing their work in anticipation of a beach day, before sailing back, hoping the Captain would be in good spirits should they happen upon a vessel ripe for the picking.  Sure, this was outlined as a “no plunder” mission, complete with its own rewards from the Captain’s personal stash of gold, but as pirates, they always hoped for an adventure._

_“Come along, men.  We’re burying this chest deep within the island, and making it so no one would ever be able to tell we were here from shore.”  They hadn’t made it more than twenty paces inland before Astra knew something was off.  She held up one hand, motioning for everyone to stop in their tracks, and keep quiet._

_Drawing her sword, she took one look at Alexandra before the first mate understood, quietly creeping behind the Captain to investigate._

_The farther they walked into the wooded area, the more they could hear.  The island was most certainly not empty at the moment, and it wasn’t long before they realized—_

_They were crashing another pirate party, burying another treasure._

* * *

_1923_

_Allie crouched down in the last stall in the line, grateful that Astra had no qualms about purchasing the best for her establishment, even down to the restroom accommodations.  The men, lined up in front of the large, porcelain urinals didn’t even turn around when Allie walked in, moving herself immediately to a stall that had a full door, shutting herself in to listen._

_“We shouldn’t even be here this long.  This kind of place gives me the creeps.”_

_“Look, ten minutes, we’ll find the girl with the red hair, and shake her until we find out what happened to Vin.”_

_Allie had to actively bite her hand to keep from gasping._

_So, it seemed they did return for their…friend.  And seemed to know an awful lot regarding his secret demise._

_“I’m telling you.  I thought I saw her when we walked in, but I’ve been watching this whole time, and I swear she’s gone.”_

_“You’ve been watching this whole time? You mean between drinks?”_

_“Zip it. I can drink and watch at the same time.  Been doing it since I was twelve. I don’t see you turning up anything better, so keep your eyes peeled. I’m not staying out all night at a pansy bar.”_

_“You think this is fun for me? You know that if she doesn’t come back tonight we’re going to keep having to come until either Vin comes back or we come back with a body.”_

_Allie bit her hand to keep herself sane.  She knew this would come back to bite them, but let Astra lull her with her ballsy promises that it was taken care of.  Clearly not.  She didn’t even leave once they did, taking an extra few minutes to gather herself, stopping in front of the mirror, making sure her faux facial hair was impeccable, helping herself to some of the cologne.  She eyed herself close to the mirror, then from farther away.  Shirley had apparently taught her the right way to make sure any womanly curves were bound and discreet._

_Satisfied that she indeed could pass for the evening, only then did she step outside, back into the bar space._

_If Allie wanted to stay alive, she was going to have to be Alexander for awhile and warn Astra, before they had an all-out speakeasy shootout on their hands._

* * *

Alex wrung her hands, looking at the print-outs of her DNA mapping, waiting for the specialist to arrive.  She knew she was in way over her head, and needed someone not only with her brains, but with more experience. 

Both scientifically and with uncommon variations. 

“Hey Alex, Mom said she’s on her way.  What’s going on?”  Kara peeked around the room as she walked in, making sure Astra wasn’t there about to grope her sister, which was usually how Kara found them when they were in-house and not out on assignment. 

“I did it.”  Alex pointed to the long print-outs taking up the entire table.  “I mapped my DNA.  And there have indeed been some…changes.  I’ve never seen anything like this before.” 

“Well, I don’t think anyone from earth has ever been hit with nerve poison from an alien breed causing an explosion of past-live memories, so…”

“How is that possible though? Honestly, the whole time we’ve had a Jin Shinku nest, nobody has ever been hit?  In the history of the world? I can’t be the only person on the planet who remembers their past lives.” 

“No, I’m sure you’re not.  Just usually we refer to those people as…”  Kara trailed off, not wanting to use the term “crazy”, especially since now she knows it’s not. 

“Alex.  Kara.  My girls. I’m always glad to get a call from you, even if it has been weeks on end.” Alex and Kara both slumped their shoulders, especially Alex, who has been more Missing-in-Action lately than usual. 

“Mom.  Thanks for coming.” 

“Of course.  There must be a big fuss going on if you’re calling in the big guns.”  Alex tried to smile, taking in a deep breath. 

“I’ve been doing a DNA mapping of—a sample, and I’m seeing some genetic mutations that are new.  Have you ever seen anything like this?”  Eliza immediately started scanning her eyes across the print-outs up and down the long table, taking her time. 

After minutes of Alex holding her breath, a move not unnoticed by Eliza, the woman finally spoke. 

“Yes.  I have seen genetic mutations in DNA like this.  Well, not _exactly_ like this, but yes.”

* * *

_1718_

_Astra kept Alexandra next to her, as musket balls fired in their general direction. The Captain thanked her lucky stars that while a blunderbuss was convenient to have at point-blank rage, the were useless from far away._

_Still, the firing of the pellets was enough to keep them away from the other pirate party, and now with the sun setting, Astra feared they would be forced to continue on the defensive in the dark._

_“Men! Begin to retreat. Take the chest with us.  Change of plans.”  Astra truly disliked the idea of going back unsuccessful and having to bury the chest at their home port.  Doing so would mean someone would see, which meant there would always be rumors of the “treasure of the fearless pirate Astra” on its shores._

_Which meant someone would always be looking for it._

_And if Astra wanted to keep her origins a secret, that needed to not be occurring, but they had little choice._

_Amongst the firing and shouting from the opposite pirates, they began falling back, hopping from shrub to shrub, hoping to stay hidden behind the greenery amongst the smoke._

_It was nearly at ship, as they were preparing to load back on board that they realized the other pirates were continuing to press forward._

_“We are retreating.  We will not come after your treasure, sirs!” Astra shouted.  She knew why they were continuing to press forward, no longer defending their booty.  They wanted Astra’s crew in surrender, so they could raid her ship.  Astra drew her cutlass when she ran out of pellets, noticing her men were out as well.  Alexandra even had been firing coal blanks from their games earlier, not even having thought to re-load once they reached the island._

_Surrender was not going to be an option.  Astra picked up the pace, directing her crew to run._

_Yet in the split moment before they could run up the ramp, they were taken by surprise by a short reprieve in shots fired, causing them all to turn their heads and look, before being charged by the opposition, all with swords drawn._

_“Defend!” Alexandra yelled, watching each of their crew draw swords to fight the band.  They crew they clashed with, sound of metal on metal clinking immediately, chopped only by grunting, seemed to be in fairly poor shape.  They were thin, clearly having to lower their rations, and the conditions of their clothes told Astra they had been at sea for weeks longer than they should have._

_They also had no one shouting orders, as Astra and Alexandra had been throughout the battle._

_“Mutiny.”  Astra said aloud, seeing the eyes widen in the short, bald man she was fighting.  “You all committed mutiny and haven’t elected a new captain yet.”  The venom in her voice was clear: she had no respect or patience for mutinous pirates.  She knew the work it took to be a good Captain—the maintenance of the ship, ensuring proper rationing, making sure everyone aboard is armed and trained to fight, divvying up the booty—taking the responsibility to provide direction, adventure, and ultimately taking responsibility for the well being of an entire crew, all the while still taking the concerns and wishes of the crew into consideration._

_And when she heard of other pirates taking their captains and forcing them out as a meal for the sharks, it made her sick.  She began fighting with renewed fervor, taking out almost all of the treacherous crew herself, save for three men left, being fought by herself, Alexandra, and one surrounded by her men as they tried to get information on their treasure._

_“And what about ye shipmates? Hmm? Ye think it is prudent to keep two captains.”  The man who was fighting Astra gestured between Astra and Alexandra with his sword, waiving it back and forth.  “There can never be two captains on a ship. Even one is sometimes too many.”_

_The man then faked a lunge at Astra, causing her to go on the defensive.  In that split second he gained the upper hand, twisting suddenly to drive his sword into Alexandra’s back as she was fighting his kinsmen, pulling it back out with a spirt of blood to follow._

_“Alexandra, no!”  Astra yelled, feeling a bloodlust boil in her that she hadn’t felt in decades, perhaps centuries._

_This was beyond a normal injury, even worse than what Alexandra had endured before from a messy musket fire would that had led her to opium.  If Alexandra wasn’t in front of Clarinda within the hour, she would most certainly die._

_Astra thought back to the last time she watched Alexandra die, also too young, at the hands of illness, leaving Astra feeling helpless.  At that time, as Alexandra had lay in her bed, succumbing to a uncurable sickness, there was nothing she could do.  No recourse. No cure. An earth sickness that she had never even heard of._

_But in this instance, there was something she could do.  Even if she was about to out herself as Kryptonian in the process._

_It didn’t matter.  This time, Alexandra was not dying so young._

_Astra killed the three remaining men, using her super strength beyond what she normally did, even throwing her own men out of the way, killing one with a beheading, a second with a sword in and out of the belly, and the third, the one who had gravely injured Alexandra, this one she stabbed in the heart, twisting the sword before withdrawing. The darkness of night now cloaked them completely, eyes adjusting to moonlight._

_Quickly, she gathered Alexandra in her arms, who was conscious, but just barely._

_“Get back on the ship and steer it to port.  Men, from this point forward you man never speak of what you see from me.  I will answer you questions later, but for right now, you don’t know where I went or what happened to Alexandra.  Get on the ship. Duncan, steer the crew back to port.”_

_“Captain, what about you--”_

_“THAT IS AN ORDER.”  She shouted._

_As the men loaded onto the ship, once the last back was turned, she shot up, flying into the sky, Alexandra in her arms, heading back for port via air._


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellloooo! Here's a chapter. Honestly, I don't know when I decided to smash sci-fi with historical fiction, but here we are. I have no explanation. Ever get into the car and then suddenly you're home and you don't remember how you got there? Yeah, that's this story.  
> Sorry? You're welcome?

* * *

_1923_

_It was astonishing to Allie how Astra could keep emotion from showing on her face, especially when hearing something a great deal unsettling.  But as Allie, dressed as Alexandra, relayed what she overheard in the men’s room, Astra kept her face steady, as though she were being relayed a drink order, not the plannings of the local underworld._

_Well, farther under than an illegal speakeasy, at least._

_And those plans included putting someone six feet under, apparently, once they realized they were not returning with their fallen comrade._

_Astra began lining up glasses, running through her options._

_She could walk over to each one individually and knock their brains out with one fist to each face.  Of course, she technically could.  It would also be her preference, really. She also had the strength to take them outside, pick them up, and throw each one so high they’d die of a heart attack on the way down.  But, of course, these were only the fantasies that played on in her head once Allie made it know through her whispers that they intended to find her and hold her responsible for some reason.  Not that Astra was surprised. She knew the gossip train ran strong, and people left her bar and hopped to another, and word got around even as she worked to keep a tight lid on the establishment._

_No, Astra knew it would take a more persuasive approach that didn’t involve outing herself as a Kryptonian.  She didn’t want to blow her cover and have to live in hiding._

_Well, farther in hiding than owning an illegal speakeasy._

_She tried to think over who would be their informant.  There were a lot of people there the night Allie shot Vin.  But who would ever tell? Gossip was one thing, but this would be a betrayal of their community.  Maybe Astra had misjudged the loyalty of her clientele._

_The barkeep sighed, pouring out three strong cocktails, the kind she knew only men would suffer through to prove they could.  Exactly the kind to provide for their new guests, now huddled at the front door, clearly watching who comes in.  Waiting._

_For Allie to reappear._

_Maybe nobody snitched.  If someone were to snitch, they’d do it to the police, or threaten to and come to Astra asking for blackmail money.  No, most likely one of her late night, dearly intoxicated customers probably chatted about the shooting as gossip far embellished to make a good story, speech and vision too slurred and blurry to notice if there were unusual ears listening._

_“Well then, Alexander, I do believe I should bring some drinks over to our guests.  You, start a switch dance on the floor.  I want everyone tired enough to clear out of here soon. I don’t want a lot of folks left if things get—messy.”_

_Allie nodded, going over to the band to give the instructions._

* * *

Alex was floored.  She had worked with DNA for most of her adult life.  She had studied it extensively.  It was part of why she was so appealing to the DEO. And yet, here was her own mother, schooling her on the purpose of DNA, its functions, and ins-and-outs, which went beyond even her own wildest imagination. 

Alex was further trying to process that most of her graduate degrees were useless compared to how much her mother knew.

“See, here?  This is your kiwi allergy.”  Eliza pointed to one of the sequence. 

“Alex is allergic to kiwis?”  Kara asked, surprised. 

“Well, yes dear, that’s why we never had them in the house.” 

Alex stopped dead in her tracks.  “Wait, you know this is mine?”

“I do now.”  Eliza put on her most charming smile, using a trick she used to use on the girls when they were teenagers.

Kara held her chin thinking for a moment, avoiding Alex’s eyes after that little slip-up.  It was true, she never had a kiwi once while living in the Danvers household.  And she hadn’t thought for a moment it was for any important reason. 

“And this?”  Alex pointed to another section.

“That was when you had the chicken pox in second grade. If the vaccine for that hadn’t been developed, this is the marker for the information that would have been passed down to your children, telling their body to build an immunity after having it just once. But you inherited immunity to the measles, as you can see here, which is why we never bothered to get you that vaccination as a child.” 

Alex and Kara both circled the table, not understanding how eight feet of code could be read by Eliza like a personal journal. 

“And this one?”  Alex looked at a pattern that stuck out to her because it looked like a heartbeat on a heartrate monitor. 

Eliza smiled.  “That would be your first crush. It leaves a lasting impression.” 

“Wow.  So Vicki Donohue is literally embedded in your DNA.”  Kara said, not meaning to sound snarky, even as Alex bumped her with her shoulder. 

“She’s not, it’s my experience that’s recorded.  Is that right?”

“Correct.  And while she’s not, someone certainly is.  See all these?”  Eliza pointed to what looked like irregular heartbeats.  “Someone made you feel like this over and over again, but somehow different.  This is the part that I haven’t seen anything like. It’s also back in your past segment, which doesn’t make sense. It’s like it happened while you were in the womb or earlier, but it’s not in your genetic coding section that you inherited from me or your father. The only DNA I’ve ever seen with an elongated timeline like this has been, well, Kryptonian.”  Eliza turned her head, knowing she was looking at a romantic pattern, but couldn’t explain why. 

Alex shook her head.  She knew that DNA was an information transmission.  It carried hair color, eye color, physical traits, personality traits, predispositions to alcoholism or cancer. 

She didn’t imagine that it literally held a blueprint of everything that ever happened to her, storing it away as a record, passing that along to the next generation, as well as having everything from the previous generations loaded in as well. 

“What are these little blips?” Alex asked, gesturing to a large segment. At this point, Alex was becoming more fascinated as a scientist and making this less about herself.

“Injuries.  Most likely.  This bigger one is clearly when you broke your wrist falling off your bike, and the little ones are anything deep enough to bruise or seriously cut.” 

“So…you’re telling me this is a literal record of everything, not just genetic coding, but that DNA stores everything that’s ever happened? And that I inherit the genetic memories of what happened to my parents?”  She left out _and my soul’s past lives_ , not wanting to spill all the beans to her mother just yet. 

“Correct.” 

“Mom, I work with DNA all the time.  Human. Alien.  Whatever this is that describes me now. Why didn’t you ever tell me that this is how it actually works?”

“Well, you never asked. Besides, nobody knows this who isn’t government contracted at the Above Top Secret level. There is a seal on this information so it can’t ever leak to private proprietors or the academic community.”

“Mom, I _am_ Above Top Secret clearance.” 

Eliza shrugged.  “And you still didn’t ask.  Alex, the implications of knowing your DNA holds all of your information is too sensitive to get out.  Could you imagine if DNA tests were ordered for every little thing? As part of government or legal proceedings? To get a job? People demanding DNA scans before marriag? It’s too dangerous.”

“So…is Alex’s DNA—well, you said you’ve only seen this in Kryptonian DNA, so…”  Kara’s ears had perked back at the sentence when Eliza suggested Alex was similar in any way to her and had been stuck on that sentence since. 

“I just mean how long her chains are.  Kryptonians live a very long time, so it makes sense that their timeline recorded in their DNA is longer.  I don’t know why Alex’s DNA includes all of her information, but goes back farther.  Alex, what happened?” 

“Huh?”  Alex simply looked at Eliza with her deer in headlights eyes.  “Why would you assume something happened?” 

“Alex. _Please_.”  Eliza gestured to the table with the pages printed out on it.  “Right now I know more about you than YOU do.  Something happened to elongate your timeline.  Is this someone else’s history mushed in here?  Did you do some sort of experiment that added timeline material from what you inherited from me or your father?” 

Alex shook her head.  “You’re going to want to sit down for this one.”   

* * *

_1718_

_Alexandra pulsed in and out of consciousness.  She had tried to hold on after feeling the sharp, piercing pain of the blade enter her body, then pull out as quickly as it had been plunged in, nearly choking on her own inhale from the shock of it._

_She tried to focus on anything—her hands covering the wound, the shouting around her, seeing Astra muster up the strength of ten men, a sight she had occasionally seen in their early days, but now it was as though she was noticing Astra’s strength for the first time._

_The redheaded pirate thought about it as she felt her knees collapse on the shore.  The sword that pierced her had not done so from winning with strength. They had caught them by surprise.  As Alexandra thought about it, Astra was never beaten on strength alone.  It simply didn’t happen.  In the many, many battles they’d fought, not so much as a scratch had landed on any of their crew unless it was a surprise attack.  Astra simply picked up two to three opponents at a time and threw them overboard, or knocked them out with one punch—once she swore she saw Astra catch a sword with her bare hand, blade first, before ripping it out of the man’s hand, knocking him out with her free arm._

_There was more to this story than Astra was telling her._

_And then, she lost consciousness, as she felt Astra picking her up in her arms. The she was awake for about three seconds, feeling a rush of wind around her, unable to see, falling back out of consciousness._

_The next time she pulsed awake, she was lying in an unfamiliar bed, but she was surrounded by familiar scents, enough to know she was in Clarinda’s whorehouse._

_She could halfway open her eyes, vision fuzzy, her body below her neck somewhat numb.  When she tried to focus, she could see what looked like two Astras on the other side of the room, in a heated argument.  One, dressed in her normal sailing attire, and a second, in a strange skin-tight suit that made no sense._

_Alexandra resigned herself to being injured enough to have double vision, letting herself slip back to sleep._

* * *

_1718_

_Alexandra’s eyes floated open again, vision and hearing still fuzzy.  She looked around the room, seeing Clarinda and again two Astras arguing in the corner.  She wondered briefly why Astra was the only person she saw in double.  She blinked again, not making any noise, the light streaming in through the window hurting her pupils a bit._

_“I can’t believe you’re choosing to live like this.  Choosing! Instead of living with your own people!”_

_“Please do not take offense to my sister’s rudeness, Clarinda. There is nothing wrong with how we live here.”_

_The woman, in a red dress logically too ornate for just pittering about the house for the day, waived the Astras off.  “No need to apologize.  I am aware that Astra comes from a line of…shall we say advanced people. And it’s none of my business. Although, I’d think if you were so advanced, you’d know that this instance with your love would best be helped with--”_

_“Don’t you dare, Clarinda. Don’t.  You know she can’t have that. She was almost destroyed by it once.”_

_“True, but she recovered once, she can recover again. I do not mean to press so, Captain Astra, but if she makes it--”_

_“When.” Astra demanded, stomping a foot._

_“When.  Yes, when she wakes up, she will be in tremendous pain, more than my usual herbs can control. Do you really want her to have to live healing like that? She was literally sliced up.”_

_“You don’t need to remind me, I saw it with my own eyes.”_

_“Why don’t you let her decide for herself?”  Alexandra heard more than saw the strange version of Astra offer, her vision still blurring in and out.  “She’s not your prisoner, Astra. It should be up to her if she takes a risk. We’re talking about measly humans, so fragile. It would probably take her weeks to heal.  Weeks! From a simple slice! Could you imagine? How could you deprive someone of pain relief for that much time?”_

_“So far, when I let Alexandra decide things, it generally ends with her almost dying and us ending up back here.  Again, Clarinda, I do not mean any offense.”  Clarinda rolled her eyes, allowing the Captain, still wearing her Captain’s hat to assert her authority over the situation, to continue. “I’m not sure that one who has been acquainted with the clutches of the most alluring substance on this planet is the best for making choices regarding its use.”_

_The confusion of hearing Astra’s voice address Astra herself—her Astra, was too much to try to process.  Alexandra felt herself slip back out of consciousness._

* * *

_1923_

_It was nerve-wracking, watching Astra bring drinks over to the mobsters like they were genuine guests, chatting, moving away, checking in on them, chatting with folks around them to fish for information, and having to observe it all from the dance floor_

_Allie barely made conversation or eye contact with any of her dance partners, the live band playing a set that the regulars knew well: the switch set.  Allie and at least a dozen others, with some newcomers mixed in trying their darndest to keep up, knew the drill by heart: each instrument would get a show-off solo, sometimes quick, sometimes for long minutes to really show off their chops.  But everyone knew to switch partners clockwise once the band returned to the chorus.  It was usually one of Allie’s favorites.  But now, she was barely going through the motions, trying to keep an eye on Astra and their unwanted guests._

_Another trumpet solo, Allie switches to a blonde with pouty lips who she smiles politely at and doesn’t say a word to._

_Astra brings the men a second round of drinks, although this time it appears she does expect them to pay._

_The saxophone refrain takes off leading the full band, as Allie switches partners on autopilot, watching Astra shimmy back to the bar, grabbing the nearest warm body in a dress._

_“You know, Professor Baker, if you were going to hobble-squat away your sabbatical instead of completing something of merit, you should at least have the decency to vacation farther away from the school.”  The whispered voice made Allie’s eyes go wide, snapping to attention._

_Of course, she would grab the Dean without having noticed.  And of course, that close, the woman would see who she really was, under the disguise._

_Allie went to respond, but found herself choking on her words.  The Dean hadn’t sounded angry…amused, maybe? Allie mustered up the nerve to look at the woman’s face, the familiar pointy nose lining up with her own._

_“I…just…”_

_The Dean sighed.  “It’s alright, Allie. I didn’t come here to interrogate you.”_

_Allie decided, as she was already caught by her boss cross-dressing in an illegal bar when she was supposed to be off either authoring the greatest book ever made or finding a husband, that boldness, at this juncture, was no longer something to be worried about._

_“What did you come here for then?”_

_Dean Fournier smiled, still keeping up with the music even as they chatted.  “See that table over there?”  She pointed to the women she’d come in with.  “The blonde is my sister. She’s…well…”  the Dean scrambled in her brain for a way to say it without sounding offensive._

_“Like me?”  Allie kindly threw out, seeing the Dean grapple with what to say._

_“Yes. I’ve always known. And she has a hard time living out in the world, a world that isn’t kind to an unmarried schoolteacher.  When I heard about this place, I thought taking her out might cheer her up. It seems to be doing the trick.”_

_Allie glanced at the table again, where the Dean’s sister indeed seemed to be having a good time, no longer hitting on Astra like when they first arrived, but attempting to gain the attention of a butch, who responded by crisping her tie and bringing over a drink.  Allie couldn’t help but smile._

_“Well then.”  Allie cleared her throat. “How did you find out about this place.”_

_The Dean immediately frowned.  “Someone told me, but I don’t think I should say…it’s not my place—I don’t name names, Allie. Personal business is personal business.”_

_The young professor nodded.  It was a cold reminder that while she generally lived a life that was carefree when inside the speakeasy, the outside world would still destroy her if they new any of her very personal details._

_“Then…me?”_

_The Dean met Allie’s eyes beneath the disguise.  “I don’t name names, Allie. I need you to get a book done or get a husband because I want to keep you, not because I don’t want you to have all this if that’s what makes you happy.  I still respect you very much.  I would never tell a soul.  Besides, some of the wildest nights of my life have been dragging my sister out so she can meet women.  The booze is merely a perk.”_

_The response Allie had as a lump formed in her throat, as two shots went off behind her._

_In a flash, Allie had the pistol from her waistband pulled out as she spun around, seeing Astra and Shirley also having grabbed hidden weapons, procured for this exact moment._

_There stood one of the mobsters, still holding up the gun that had fired the shots in the air as everyone ducked, hid under a nearby table, or hid in the nearest cramped space.  The three women with pistols immediately pointed at him._

_“There.  Now that I’ve got your attention.  We’re looking for a friend of ours, came in here months ago.  Funny thing is, nobody heard from him since.”_

_“He’s not here.  Your friend did stop by, a long time ago. But we haven’t seen him since.” Astra said, taking control of the conversation._

_“Well, let’s see then…” The man began pointing his gun around the room, most of the crowd cowering, whimpering coming from whatever section he pointed at.  Astra, Shirley, and Allie all held their ground, pistols raised as he used what was clearly a scare tactic.  “I see three guns pointed at me, and only two women…or so I’m supposed to believe.”_

_The tall, skinny man smirked, pointing his gun at Allie in drag. “But that doesn’t make sense, does it? Everyone knows this bar is woman-run.  Bingo, boys! I think I found the redhead.”_

_That is the moment when everything moved in slow motion for Allie, between the man pulling the trigger, Astra seeing it, and moving faster than a speeding bullet, taking the hit in the chest as she dove in front of Allie.  The mobsters left quickly, not wanting to be tied to a crime scene.  As far as they were concerned, it was a life-for-a-life trade, even if he didn’t hit his mark._

_Allie’s jaw dropped, unsure what to do.  She absolutely remembered the night Astra cut her hand with the glass—or more accurately didn’t.  But this was a bullet!_

_The crowd gasped, some women yelping in shock, everyone diving to take cover or running towards the back and front doors._

_“Allie.”  Astra crumpled to the ground, Allie catching her in her arms bringing her to the floor, with the Dean standing watch, her hand clasped over her mouth at the murder she thought she had just witnessed._

_“Astra.  We can call for an ambulance--”_

_“You are to do no such thing. They will send the police automatically.  I need you to drag me in the back as though I am injured.”  The Dean looked over the interaction, confused.  The woman who took the bullet had her hand clasped to her chest over the entry point, but there was no blood.  Not that the Dean made it a point of witnessing gunfire, but certainly she had seen photos in the papers and images in movies.  Why would they always show blood if there wasn’t any in real life?_

_Allie nodded, allowing Astra to stay on the ground, where she feigned weakness, moving to drag her to the back room.  Staying true to her role, the barkeep became complete dead weight, and Allie struggled to pull her, looking up at Dean Fournier for assistance._

_All of the color drained from the woman’s face.  Not only was she a witness to a murder, she thought, but now she was an active participant.  The woman scolded herself for thinking a trip to an illegal destination would be just for fun—these were dangerous times, and this was a reminder that she was indeed somewhere inherently not safe, even if it was the only place her sister ever felt safe._

_Still, she assisted, helping to drag the moaning Astra into the back room, while Shirley and the rest of the staff cleared out the guests, making sure that not too many people poured out of one door at a time, giving away their location. They promised to send word out through the password system if and when they re-opened, making sure nobody panicked and called the police, assuring the regulars that they would take care of Astra._

_Once in the back, Astra waited until the door was shut before sitting up, holding the bullet in her hand revealing that there was no wound._

_“Well, that’s a hell of a trick.”  The Dean said, eyes wide, staring at Astra before her, seemingly alive and well.  “I think I should sit down.”  She stammered out._

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update: Hey remember when I said this was going to be 22 chapters long? Survey says, that was a lie.   
> It's been awhile, and since I just don't have much writing time anymore (which is too bad; it's my stress relief), I'm mushing what was going to be a sequel into the original story to save myself the trouble. you know. classic case of my lies ;)
> 
> Super more important update: The very talented LeilansDream made a fanart along the lines of the Pirate Astra story shorts, and I think it's lovely :) but you can check for yourself here: 
> 
> https://www.deviantart.com/leilansdream/art/General-Danvers-Pirate-AU-746184925
> 
> Onwards! OY so many italics...

**_1560_ **

_The despise couldn’t have been hidden from the General’s face if she tried._

_The matter was settled in her mind after a mere twenty-four earth hours._

_Earth humans were barbarians who should most likely either be wiped out from the galaxy, or quarantined, lest their savage ways cause harm to other, more advanced beings.  At the end of the day, if her superiors ordered her to wipe away their existence herself, she’d be more than willing to carry out the orders._

_Everything Astra had observed disgusted her. Everything. She was originally told by the Kryptonian military that England was the highest of the Earth civilizations, having an organized living hierarchy, a legal structure around marriages, a standing military and navy, even if they hadn’t discovered air travel yet._

_She had high expectations, landing in the heart of English noble civilization.  What she encountered was far less of a “civilization” and more of a pack of wild humans who simply wore clothes with more ornate decorations than truly represented their lifestyles._

_First, there was the lack of sanitation. Observing the humans from the outskirts of their villages, or in disguise in their busy city centers, she was struck with how infrequently the humans seemed to bath, thinking their newly acquired perfumes and scents from trade masked the smell.  It did not.  It took Astra quite some time to learn not to openly gag at the stench of walking into a tavern._

_Was it too much to ask for an occasional dip in the river? If half the water used for making ale were instead redirected towards filling baths the problem could be rectified quite simply.  It was also apparent that the humans had no concept of how to properly dispose of their own waste, with garbage piled up in parts of the city that most certainly fueled many, if not most, of the illnesses present at the time._

_Astra was tempted to make friends and start planting seeds of knowledge to show the humans how to live—well, a bit more like every other species that had ever come before._

_How were they so far behind everyone else?  She knew they were in isolation and had an unnecessary preoccupation with war and religion that had stunted their growth, but this level of lack of decency she was unprepared for._

_Especially the stench.  That one really riled the General up._

_But, as her orders stated, she continued her mission, learning the ways of these so-called English, such that she would be able to mimick their dress, their speech, their customs, in order to work her way in with the leadership. The General was confident that she could do so in the short time she would be on Earth, given the stupidity of the civilization._

* * *

_1923_

_“So, you’re saying,” The Dean paused, taking a long, hard drink of the unidentifiable liquor out of a bottle simply labeled ‘too strong for customers’ before continuing, “that all those archaeological items that you tinker with in your down time—they belong to her civilization.”_

_Allie held her own glass up to her lips, not yet having steeled her nerves enough to actually try a drink that smelled like it should be used to clean a murder scene, not discuss faking one._

_“That is correct.”  Astra answered for her, sipping on the almost-poison like it was nothing.  Because it was nothing to her.  “It is the reason I cannot be injured by simple weapons. It is actually how Allie and I began conversing—I understand she had been researching these things, but had never spoken to one of us before.”_

_The Dean nodded, still having a hard time believing what was happening.  But how could she not? She had witnessed the woman across from her take a bullet to the chest, and it didn’t even pierce the skin. She saw it with her own two eyes._

_And yet, still, hearing the explanation, it still seemed fantastical._

_“So when you were branching out into historical biology of civilizations—”_

_“I suppose I just got lucky, then.  Meeting Astra.”_

_The three were quiet for a long moment, Astra and the Dean sipping their drinks, while Allie continue to sniff hers suspiciously before finally caving in and letting a drop slip past her lips._

_“Well.  I intend to take this as good news then, Allie.” A slow smile spread across the Dean’s face._

_“And how’s that?”  Allie cocked her head, looking confused._

_“It seems to me that you do indeed have all the evidence you need to write your book then.”_

_“I can’t--” Astra began to stutter, “She wouldn’t…it’s just that I may be the only one left, and even so--”_

_“I’m not suggesting she write your name, or anything identifying.”  Dean Fournier confirmed, easing Astra’s fears. “I certainly wouldn’t want to open up the floodgates of people trying to find the woman who can be shot without dying, as certainly some will want to try for themselves. And, after all, I would be leading them to find your occupation, which I’m sure we also don’t want to get out.”  The Dean lit a cigarette, and Allie was sure at this point she was pausing to give that sentence time to sink in._

_“We most certainly do not.”  Allie answered, taking a long drink of the illegal hooch for emphasis._

_“Allie, if your—friend—here can supply a few more artifacts and give you an interview using a false name, I’m almost certain you’d have enough to write a book on the civilization. Although, I would strongly suggest at the end of the book you at least imply that your source died after your interview time, or there will be those looking to find such a fantastical person.”_

_Allie thought about it, shaking her head. “It’ll never work.  Even with the artifacts, who’s going to believe that I happened to interview someone with impermeable skin, who then is just conveniently deceased?”_

_“Hmm.  Correct. It sounds too good to be true.  Unless you have a tenured Dean with twenty years of respected publishing who is willing to corroborate your story.”  The Dean smiled, giving the younger professor a wink.  Allie smiled back, and if felt like she hadn’t smiled in ages._

_“It is a good plan.”  Astra said, finishing her drink, banging the glass down as a gavel.  “I shall go retrieve more artifacts for you, my love.”_

_Allie looked at Astra as she stood, somewhat bewildered.  “So there are more artifacts? Where are you keeping them?”_

_At this point, Astra decided that the Dean was at least as trustworthy as anyone else in their circle._

_“They are buried behind an old pirate stronghold in the Caribbean. I will go see if my old things are still where I left them.”_

_“Wait—what?”  Allie interrupted, waiving her hands in an attempt to process the new information. “How long will you be gone? How are you getting there? Don’t you need a ship’s passage?”_

_“No.”  Astra smirked. “And I will be back before you can finish a second drink. Unless you’d like to come for the ride.”_

* * *

_1560_

_The General had to admit, that as much as she loathed the humans, she was at least proud of herself at how clever she had become._

_It didn’t take much to fool the humans into believing she was nobility, a wealthy visitor from a far away land. It was easy enough to tell tales of Krypton as though they were an earth nation.  And it didn’t hurt that she exhibited strength a step above any Englishman, easily picking up and tossing anyone who dared challenge her to a fight, or out-maneuvering anyone who dared challenge her swordsmanship, another earth skill that she picked up with ease, using her natural Kryptonian speed to make sure she was the best—but just enough so that they’d still believe she was an earth human._

_Then there was the matter of fooling them into believing she was a man._

_She had picked up on the social pecking order of the place she had lived for the past few months rather quickly, and the top of the chain appeared to be wealthy English men, followed by foreign men, then English women.  The exception to this order appeared to be the royal family, but as that was all based on blood relation she knew there was no way to fake being royalty, as they’d know and recognize their own family._

_But faking wealth, faking manhood—this proved all too easy. Her displays of strength alone covered her in this arena, making up for the lack of facial stubble, even if she was at least careful to darken the facial area with a subtle amount of coal char. The strength, however, was—well, her greatest strength._

_It was during such a display of strength that the General was forced to admit weakness._

_As she was practicing swordsmanship with another Lord, a young Englishman, barely old enough to join the navy, just outside the royal castle of Her Majesty, a Queen whom Astra has begun somewhat of a consultancy with, for the first time ever, an opponent was able to land a strike._

_She should have seen it coming, really.  She knew of her own proclivities while on Krypton, even with a show- husband and a mission to focus on._

_But when a dazzling redhead stepped out of a carriage, in a dress of black and pink, neck framed with pearls, austere yet perfectly framing a natural beauty, the likes of which Astra had never observed either on Krypton nor on Earth, hair in long curls, with no less than four attendants assisting her out of the carriage, shielding her from the sun and full view, Astra knew what she had to do._

_Sure, she still had a mission, and was nestling herself into the queen’s side quite nicely, having already had a private audience, offering military advise that had impressed the Matriarch. But now, now—_

_Astra had to meet the redhead.  She needed to know, with a burning desire unlike any childhood fever, she needed to know this woman._

_She had observed her beauty, gazing for the few long seconds the woman was visible. It only served to create the need to add sound, to hear her voice.  Would it be marked with the same beauty as the General’s eyes had learned? She needed to hear it to find out._

_So, she decided, she would._

* * *

_1718_

_Alexandra thought over her options, still not really believing that anything occurring before her was real.  She wondered if she were drunk, not only seeing Astra in double, meeting the woman’s twin for the first time.  Of course, Alexandra had heard stories of twins being born, although very uncommon, something her own countrymen might believe to be the doing of the devil, creating one good and one evil twin._

_But now, seeing Astra interact with Alura, Alexandra knew it to be nothing more than tall tales.  Nobody with Astra’s face could be evil in any sense.  It almost made her trust the woman immediately, even though the option being presented to her she didn’t quite understand._

_“We can heal you, Alexandra.  We have an object for healing our people, I just don’t know what it will do to a hu—to you, since you’ve never used something like this before. And if you chose to, you cannot talk about it. Ever.”  Alura explained, with Non and Clarinda nodding in the background._

_“We do know what it will do.  I’ve used it on…others before.”  Astra said.  “It can indeed heal you.  If you survive.  You see,” Astra paused, trying to think of how to explain a healing pod without referencing other planets. “It scans inside of your body, beyond what we can see with our eyes. It finds the injury, and tricks your own body into healing faster than it would on its own.  But you must know—it is very rapid, and it will take you very close to death in order to work, as all of your body’s energy will be redirected to healing the site. I do worry, Alexandra, if you are strong enough.”_

_Alexandra saw Astra begin to tear up, and didn’t know how to respond.  It was as though she was re-living using this pod creation, something that was never mentioned before. She had never seen Astra so close to tears—no matter what happened to them, to her, to their crew at sea, no matter how close to death Alexandra had been before—_

_Not once had Astra let a tear slip._

_“I can’t lose you again.” Astra whispered, before getting up and walking out to the balcony without explanation._

_“Just think about it. Please make a careful decision.”  Alura added , patting Alex on her good side. “You may not survive using the healing pod, but you may not survive without it. It is your choice.”  With that, the twin also stood, following her sister out to the balcony._


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured that "short update" is better than "no update", right? Right. :)

_1560_

_It was getting frustrating.  The redhead that the General had spotted was always just close enough for Astra to get a glimpse of her, but just far enough away that she could never angle her way in to converse._

_The situation had been going on for two days now. At all meals held in the Queen’s court, whether or not the Queen chose to be present, Astra found herself sequestered with the other single noblemen, just far enough away from the redhead to never catch her name, but close enough to see her, a face that while generally seeming bored, never edged into anything but kindness in her eyes._

_The Lady, as she had heard the visitor’s title to be, seemed to always be surrounded. The chances of ever approaching her alone seemed a losing battle, whether in the gardens, at tea, or while even walking the grand hallways to travel from wing to wing if need be._

_Astra couldn’t even nail down which part of the castle the visitors were even staying in. It was a puzzle that was more and more overshadowing her primary mission on earth._

_First thing in the morning of the fourth day of the woman’s visit to the castle, while grooming her borrowed stallion from the Queen, she thought she was about to have a stroke of luck._

_She was giving the horse the long, broad strokes, exactly as she was taught when she first arrived, thinking about how strange it was that humans rode another species as a form of transportation rather than just developing a means of transport. It was a reality that only served to reinforce Astra’s conclusion that the humans were backwards barbarians, a name she found fitting after learning about the actual Barbarians in a tavern one evening.  It was also in such an establishment that Astra first learned to use coal to mimick a man’s shadowing on her face._

_While attending to the strange, live, earth transportation, Astra noticed a caravan on their way up to the stables, comprised of their most recent visitors.  They were on the far end of the other stable, out of range for her Kryptonian hearing to tune in, although she tried, slowly her brush strokes to try to tune-in on the conversation._

_The General had seen the redhead riding a horse each morning in the distance, with her attendants keeping close by. Astra could only assume that the redhead riding side-saddled instead of the common way men rode was a compromise of some sort, as the entire party seemed displeased that the woman insisted on riding at all.  But she did so clearly love it, a ghost of a smile hinting across the otherwise stern face as the horse picked up the pace._

_Astra began putting the saddle on Guillermo, the muscular stallion the General had been riding regularly.  At the very least, if they both rode horses, the General assumed she could at least attempt to cross paths with the over-attended-to noblewoman, possibly at least learning her name._

* * *

“I know what you’re doing.”  The statement from the elder Kryptonian was clear.  Non-accusatory, but clear. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  Kara answered stubbornly, closing the file on the Shin-jinku, the monster that first attacked Alex, throwing their lives into an entirely different direction than previously thought.  Astra sighed, understanding the younger woman’s hesitancy to be honest. 

Of course, she would never admit to trying to figure out exactly _how_ Alex’s ability to remember her past lives had been unlocked.  And, of course, she’d never admit that she was looking to see if other humans would be able to have the ability as well, eventually unlocking their elongated lifespan—essentially bumping up their evolution a few hundred years, as had happened to Alex. 

And, Astra knew, that if pressed, if Kara wasn’t willing to admit what she was looking at, then she’d never admit out loud whom she was looking _for_. 

Astra looked at the younger woman, shaking her head.  She was so young that she had no concept of how young she really was.  She had not yet experienced Earth or life enough to know what it’s like to stay alive when your earth friends—when those who are more than friends—eventually die, and you’re just barely hitting what would be considered middle-aged by your own planet’s standards.

“It hurts.  It will hurt, I should tell you. So I do understand.” 

Kara refused eye contact, the rigidity of her shoulders giving her away. “I still don’t know what you’re talking about.”  Clearly, Kara knew exactly what she was talking about, and knew that Lena’s impending end-of-life-cycle, before starting another life cycle without knowledge of her prior life was something that would affect her greatly.

Astra didn’t bother hiding her smirk at the younger Kryptonian being—well, a young Kryptonian. The sentiment would have only truly been complete with a little foot stomp.

“You do. And I understand. Tenfold. But there isn’t a way around it.  Kara, you’re not just trying to evolve one person. You’re doing so with someone who will alter the ability of humans to go through evolution at their own pace. It may be too much too soon for some. If they don’t remember their past lives, there must be a reason.” 

Kara shook her head.  “But Alex was fine.”

“Alex was not fine. She thought she was having a severe psychological episode for the first month.  She only recovered, learning to work through her memories because she had us—you, me, J’onn, people who could explain what was happening to her.” 

“Well, I’m prepared to give Lena the same support.” 

Astra nodded. “So, it is Lena.” 

Kara turned, jutting out her chin.  “As though you really didn’t know.”

“Of course I did. I just had the desire to make you say it.”

* * *

 

_1560_

_Astra thought she was making headway with crossing the Lady’s path.  She rode her stallion, whose shiny black coat matched well with her riding boots and sportsmen shirt, although a bit showy for Astra’s usually tastes.  But she wanted to stand out._

_She was careful to ride in the open field not too close to the Lady’s caravan, the attendants always trailing behind her horse.  But she was close enough that she knew she was seen—her riding observed, one could say. As she crossed paths, coming within six horse lengths of the Lady, she would look over and give a nod of acknowledgement, which was met with a similar nod._

_That was all.  A nod. No smile even. And certainly no words._

_Still, the General would take what she could get. At least it was a start._

_She took to a light trot, trying not to make it obvious that she was circling around to pass the Lady again. But indeed she was.  The redhead seemed to particularly enjoy the crispness of the morning air, tilting her nose up and inhaling deeply every so often. It gave the General pause._

_She had to admit, for as much complaining she did in her own head about the Earth planet, its wretchedness, and backwards ways—Yes, she could admit the crispness of the morning air was something unique, and was quite a pleasurable sensation to experience._

_With a smile, she picked up the trot, set to pass the Lady again. But this time, she passed with conviction, straightening her spine._

_“Pardon me, if I may, M’lady.”  She stated, bowing her head as she spoke whilst still astride on the horse, something she learned a ‘man’ of her stature was expected to do when addressing a woman of similar position. “I noticed that you are riding side-saddled every morning. Are you not acquainted with Lady’s saddles? I’m sure we can have some riding gear crafted in no time.”_

_There was a pause, where the redhead stared back, as though sizing the General up._

_The insecurity present in a few moments of silence astounded Astra, as within a brief window she was able to cycle through a myriad of possibilities, ranging from the woman being able to tell she was in disguise and not actually a nobleman at all, to having offended her for interrupting her morning, to having something in her teeth from the morning meal._

_Finally, when the pause was broken, just as Astra had begun running her tongue over her front teeth to find the potentialoffending morsel, the true scenario was more of a barrier than she could have thought of herself._

_Tilting her head, the redhead Lady simply replied, “Parlez-vous Francais?”_

* * *

Movie night had taken on quite the morph in recent weeks.  What had started off as strictly sister-sister bonding, sometimes also moved to accommodate Astra, as Kara wanted her Aunt around for family time, as well as Lena, when her crushing corporate schedule would allow for her to have a precious night off. 

This particular night, with a line-up of comedies loaded into her “My List” section, and three trays of catering-sized takeout sushi lined up on the coffee table, Kara didn’t know who was showing up. She sent out a generic group text earlier in the day, with every response along the lines of “I’ll see if I can get off early.”  Kara was actually somewhat amazed that the journalist and superhero, essentially the only one of the four with two full time jobs with only one paying, had more free time than the others. 

Clearly, there were some benefits to being able to fly everywhere. 

The blonde was expecting some delays, then, and was content to wait curled up on the couch, popping bits of maki roll into her mouth one-by-one, trying to decide which movie would be first. 

What she wasn’t expecting were back to back texts from Alex and Astra, making it clear that movie night was about to be cancelled.

She looked as “ **ALEX** ” flashed across her phone screen, with a message underneath:

**Sorry—not going to be able to get out tonight. Bar fight at the alien bar. Already broken up—we don’t need back up, but some of the aliens we cuffed are willing to cough up information on criminal activity. You guys go ahead!**

Kara shrugged.  It sounded fairly routine, and she couldn’t really be mad at Alex for needing to stay at work if the DEO had a line of bar-fighting aliens to book. 

At least, that’s how she felt until “ **ASTRA** ” flashed across her screen, followed by:

**Little one, your sister and I are having the adult time this evening. We have been separated all week by work and I am deciding not to ruin your film screening with repressed urges. We can reschedule if you would like.**

“Ughhhhhhh.”  Kara said aloud.  At least Alex had the decency to make up a work assignment.  Unfortunately for Kara, once she explained to her Aunt that she didn’t like when she bluntly talked about having sex with her sister and asked that she refer to it as something more benign, such as having “adult time”, her Aunt started using the term _all the time_. 

The knock at the door was a welcome interruption. 

“Lena. Come in.”  Kara stepped aside as she answered, noticing Lena in a dress that she undoubtedly spent all day at work in. She wondered if Lena even owned anything that either of them would consider ‘casual’. 

She wondered what Lena used to dress like in her past lives. 

“Thank you. I, for one, am looking forward to a movie night. I could use some time to unwind.  And I’m turning the cell phone off.  If my employees can’t last a few hours without me than I’ve hired the wrong people.” The taller woman took a peek over Kara’s shoulder. “And sushi! One of my favorites.”

“Well, I hope this doesn’t disappoint you, but it’s going to be a movie night of just us. Alex is…”  Kara made a decision to go with the version of the story she would rather keep in her head, “Alex and Astra are working late.  You know. Alien fights every night to break up.” 

“Why would that disappoint me?”  Lena asked genuinely in a way that caught Kara off guard.

“Oh. I—um. Sure, I guess not. It’s good.” Kara started running through all the things she wanted to say to Lena about Alex’s ability to remember her past lives. And then she had so many points in the back of her mind from Astra reminding her that she shouldn’t. 

“Right. So, where do you want to start?”  Kara grabbed the remote, letting Lena view her movie list.

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is still reading this--major, major kudos to you! I am so sorry it takes me so long to update. It really, really is difficult for me to update these days, which means we're wading through this story line at a snail's pace.   
> But, thanks for sticking through :) I am trying when I can.

_1924_

_A Gin Rickey. Two Sidecars, with twists of lemon zest please. An entire table that wants to try the Bee’s Knees, Allie’s least favorite although it’s the one she’s most proud of, asking Shirley to make it for her whenever she’s off and just relaxing before the crowds come in._

_And come in they did.  Allie and Astra collectively had invited less than ten people to come down early this Friday evening to celebrate her new book, and yet here were at least four dozen customers and acquaintances, all asking for copies of “The Mysteries of The East: Medical Technologies of A Lost People” as it goes to press. Of course, Allie had been careful to write it as densely as possible, keeping the book in academic hands only, if for no other reason than to prevent the masses of amateur explores to head out looking for Astra’s lost civilization.  She would certainly not have time for that._

_Not with an underground bar to run, anyway._

_It made sense to Allie that they’d throw a book launch party very differently than her contemporaries. Most of Allie’s acquaintances at the college, who sometimes frequented the bar, would have a formal day of recognition on the campus, or if choosing to celebrate privately, would host a traditional seven-course dinner party. But Allie knew this was really Astra’s book too, as much as the stoic woman would never admit it. The hours of interviews that she gave detailing what the items were that Allie had hidden up in her lab, seemingly knowing how to operate every single item, including one that Allie swore was just a rock that someone had thrown in the box along the way, but actually could turn on an illuminated night sky mimicking the stars._

_That once she chose to keep out of the final edit. Nobody would believe it anyway. And Astra had additional artifacts that she brought in. Allie had no idea where she had been stashing these items—reasoning she must have had a private hideaway for them, which puzzled her, as Astra was never gone for more than a few minutes to retrieve something, and yet—she swore the particles dusting off each individual item was sand._

_Perhaps Astra had hidden them by burying them on the beach. They weren’t technically too far from the shore, but it still baffled the woman._

_But beyond that, Astra also supported Allie while writing away, carrying the heavy Remington typewriter up the stairs to Astra’s apartment to help her set up a workspace, insisting that the lamp Allie kept lit to write at all hours of the night didn’t keep her up—even if the bar closed by two, she insisted she was used to being up until three or four anyway. The redhead couldn’t keep count of how many times she had lost herself in writing, the excitement of finally getting to pen her passion, only to look up and see that Astra had set out a sandwich for her, not even realizing her own stomach had been growling until seeing the plate. The professor was aware of every element in the known universe and could name the entire periodic table,but had no cognizance of her shoulders having been hunched for too long, until strong hands came up behind her, kneading her shoulders, asking her without words to please relax._

_Everyone had been so supportive. Astra. The Dean. The bar staff that were now their friends, knowing that Allie’s writing meant less hours helping out during peak times. Everything had just been—well, a lot of work. But in the nicest way possible._

_What had rubbed Allie the wrong way, however, was the way the Dean now sat in the corner, with her sister and cohort, not seeming to enjoy herself at all. Of course, when she had first come in, she had smiled and waved as usual, but this time the smile was so clearly forced that it pained Allie to see._

_And then the Dean ordered no alcohol, so Allie was immediately convinced that the woman was on her death bed._

_The young professor started to cross the bar, intending on grilling the woman who had become her friend, until a crew of at least a dozen started piling into the bar, buzzing about the “book event at their favorite club”, and Allie new immediately that the bar crew would need her help, even if they were celebrating her to begin with._

_“I’ll get whatever it is out of you.”  Allie said quietly, looking in the Dean’s direction._

* * *

“I don’t like it. Not one bit.”  Astra picked up an entire waffle as though she was holding a cookie, dipping it into the puddle of syrup, taking a Kryptonian sized bite.

“Well, that’s fine. You’re allowed to disagree. But I’m moving forward with it. I’m not a child.” 

Astra finished the waffle with a second bite, letting the flames in her eyes ignite with irritation before answering.

“You’re not?  Really? Tell me then, at twenty-six, as a person who will live to be two thousand or more, please tell me how you’re NOT still a child?”

Kara huffed. Of course, her thousand-year old aunt would look at it that way. And just because the reaction was expected didn’t mean it _really_ wasn’t starting to grate on the young Super’s nerves.

“Well. By earth standards I am a grown woman.”

“Fine. We’re using earth standards then, Little One? Then the earth standard is to not remember the past lives. If we are using earth standards, then keep earth on earth level. These beings cannot be trusted with this knowledge at this time.”  The General looked down at her pile of waffles, realizing now that they were supposed to be some sort of bribe of appeasement from her niece before beginning this conversation. 

“You may have lived here for a while, Aunt Astra. But I was actually _raised_ here. I have an earth family.  I went to their—our--schools. I might physically be different, but beyond that, I was adopted as an earth human and that’s how I live.”

“You’re right, I have lived here for a while. Quite some time. And I can tell you unequivocally: the earth people are behind in philosophy of life, even today, and they are preoccupied with revenge.”

“So? Like there were never crimes of passion on Krypton?”

Astra shook her head. “Not like this. Not even close.” Astra started pulling out her phone, pulling up her news feed.  “Do you see this?” Kara huffed, refusing to look at the screen. 

Astra waited a moment, deciding to carry on. “Men murdering their wives’ lovers. Women enduring corrective rape for turning down sex with men. Stealing. Families fighting over inheritance. The thousands of lawsuits occurring everyday. Jealousy. Fighting. This is just over what’s happened to these people in THIS lifetime. Do you really want to add more to the mix? More to fight about?”

“I think that maybe remembering what past lives were like might make everyone more compassionate.”

Astra rolled her eyes. “You really still believe that.”

“I do.” Kara stomped, a little harder than intended, causing a slight shake through the apartment. “Think about it. Maybe there would be less fighting if people remembered the things they’d lived through before. Maybe, just maybe, there would be less murders.”

“Well, in my experience on earth, no matter how much technology you give them, it never scales back on their fighting. Never. In five hundred years, the violence and backward nature doesn’t stop. You just find the good people and work with them.”

“A ha! So, you admit there are good ones.” Kara stuck up a finger in triumph.

“Of course, don’t be reductionist. Just as there are bad Kryptonians. But Kara, I truly don’t believe that ‘they’—as an entire group all at once-- can handle it. Certainly not in the way it happened to Alex—memories just flooding back without order or explanation. The mental health wing of every hospital would be flooded.” 

Kara stopped speaking, letting her Aunt continue listing all of the resources that would be strained, letting her rant, grabbing her own waffle to dip into the syrup.

She was never shooting for Astra’s all-in from one conversation. She’d learned a long time ago with Astra to work with baby-steps.

Step one, was just to convince Astra that there are good earthlings.

Step two, convince her that Lena is one of them, because Lena really, really wants to know about her past lives now that she knows they exist.

“You would do it for Alex.” Kara huffed out, almost under her breathe.

“No, Little One.” Astra sat back down on one of the stools around Kara’s kitchen table.  “I didn’t for Alex. That should speak volumes as to how dangerous I believe this to be.”

* * *

_1560_

_Although aware that chopping a tree down with a sword was perhaps the least effective way to accomplish the task, it was all she had left to try to present a challenge to burn up a fire of frustration._

_Of course, the one person she wanted to converse with would speak another language. Of course, she would land on Earth and only learn the language of one country, knowing there were many._

_Astra, in her frustration, had already taken out six sparring opponents, her swordsmanship outmatching four knights and two in-training. She had barely broken a sweat, so she followed this by axe throwing exercises where she broken one of the wooden targets completely in half, before giving up and taking her sword out to the forest._

_The news of the wildly strong nobleman, the Queen’s most trusted strategist, going on an anger rampage where he was truly showing off his strength, made its way through the castle gossip channels in record time._

_“French.”  She said aloud, chopping at the base of a tree._

_“Of course. Of course, I never bothered to learn French.” Whack. “It only took ten weeks to learn English.” Whack. “But now, I have to--”Whack. “—Figure out—” Whack. “—French.”_

_“In all fairness, I did ask if you spoke French.  But I never said that I didn’t understand English.” An accented voice punctuated the end of the sentence in such a manner that Astra couldn’t tell if it was in jest, as though everything was meant to be a merry rouse, or a smugness._

_As she whipped her head around to the voice, she immediately wondered how much of her self-talk the redhead heard._

_The Lady looked sheepish, not smug—Astra had been on Earth long enough to know what the emotion of guilt looked like on a human face.  The woman also appeared alone, for the first time ever since her visit began._

_Alone! Finally!_

_And yet all the General could do was stand, mouth slightly agape, unsure what to say._

_“I did not intend to startle you. But since the entire castle is discussing your ability to pick up and throw four grown men in a play-fight--”_

_“Utter nonsense. It was only three.  And clearly you know nothing about me, or you would know that’s a standard take-down.  It is why the last stop in knight training for the Queen’s men is to fight me.”  Astra interrupted, crossing her arms._

_“I thought I’d like to see such a sight myself. It is a tale that I do have a hard time believing, even taking four down to three.”_

_“Why is it so hard to believe? I am naturally strong. I keep myself in the finest shape, working on my form every day.”_

_The redhead slipped closer, causing the General’s breath to hitch. It was like the Lady knew her eyes had a mesmerizing quality, one that would stop a fuss dead in its tracks. Then swiftly, a delicate hand reached up, using a thumb to smudge the charcoal five o’clock shadow ever so slightly._

_As she pulled back her hand to show the offending smudge on her finger, she gave Astra a moment to process._

_“I understand more than you think. Which is why I seem to understand none of this at all.”_

_With that, the Lady walked away, down the path back towards the castle, wiping her finger off with a handkerchief, leaving the General behind her speechless._

* * *

_1718_

_Seeing Alexandra in a healing pod forced the Captain to wait with baited breath, watching the out of place arrangement before her._

_Everything about it just seemed—wrong._

_Looking at an earthling in a Kryptoninan pod, aboard a Kryptonian ship, high out of her mind in order to mitigate both the pain and allow for the idea that then entire treatment could be a hallucination…_

_Astra hadn’t moved in the entire hour.  It was so strange, seeing someone in a pod wearing standard rogue sailor gear rather than a mesh, flexi-bodysuit.  The pod lit up underneath Alexandra’s passed out body._

_It was taking so long that Astra had just about given up._

_“Well, it’s doing something at least.” Non came up next to her, watching as Alura administered the scans.  Astra knew he was trying to offer something cheerful, but that if Alexandra were a Kryptonian, the entire healing process from the injury she sustained would have taken less than three minutes._

_Astra was fine with the deal the struck. She agreed, that once Alexandra, whom she considered at this point to be intertwined with he soul, having found her twice in earth lives, once Alexandra passed from this lifetime, she would return to Krypton for ten years with Non to help with the administrative duties of the prefecture, saving the family and Non the disgrace of being catalogued as a defector._

_It was an agreement she was fine with it. It would take Alexandra more than ten years to reincarnate anyway._

_And an earth without Alexandra was—well, not somewhere Astra could bear to be again. Not without her._

_Not after having sailed every corner of it with her, so now every season on every continent reminded her in some way of Alexandra._

_“She will pull through.”  Non said, as though he were trying to will it for his best friend._

_Astra nodded, not so sure._


End file.
